Don't Label People!

Tia D. is a guest writer.  She is an intelligent, vibrant, energetic, beautiful, young lady who believed that she wasn’t worth much.  She was told at a very early age as a child that she wouldn’t amount to anything and that everything she did was wrong.  She’s an adult who still believe that they were right.  I hope that she sees now that they were very wrong.  I asked her permission to display her thoughts here.  Eventually, Tia will use her creativity to start her own blog.   She has shown us all how well she can express herself.  There’s a lot more personal info about this young woman that I will not share.  She has endured quite a few hardships and disappointments.  Yet, she never gave up.  If you can’t believe in yourself who will?  We all have self-fulfilling prophecies either for ourselves or others.  We label children in schools all of the time.  They are placed in special education classes because they do not “fit” in with the others.  They are repeatedly told by adults that they can’t keep up and need to be placed elsewhere with others like them.  These children feel ashamed, embarrassed, and humiliated.  Eventually they drop out and take the wrong direction in life.  Then society wonders was this a socio-economic problem or a cultural problem, another label.  You know what I’m talking about.  Another easy way out is to give these children medications, get them addicted and then screw up their minds.  Labeled or addicted, these young lives are ruined and even worse as adults.  I can’t stand labels unless they are positive and meaningful.  Teachers during my day didn’t take cop-outs sending you to special classes or requesting that you need sedatives.  They simply whipped our little behinds, told our parents that they did, and we got another one from home because we embarrassed our family.  Understand this!  Our parents had given them permission to cut our butts at the beginning of school year.  Those teachers believed in us and we did our best.  We had something in those days that many of these teachers do not have; respect for each other, the teacher and student.  Most of all, we had parents that loved and sacrificed their lives for their children.

A Thousand Miles - Vanessa Carlton

Tia D! Thank you!

**This blog entry, while omitting specific details is my most vulnerable yet. Please read with care.**

Up until recently, I held a strong resentment towards people who I considered to have had “life handed to them.” I was utterly jealous of them and sometimes even angry although they never knew it. Nearly everything in my life that I consider “worthwhile” I’ve had to go through hell to attain. Pretty much from day one (conception) the odds were against me. I always felt like the line between my life and death was very fragile. Personal mistakes were not learning experiences they were something to greatly fear. At a young age I subconsciously developed the motto: If it’s easy I must be doing it wrong. A motto that has no doubt followed me into my young adulthood. My whole life I’ve been told what I couldn’t do and what I would never be able to do…and I believed it. I’ve lived my life until recently believing I’d never amount to anything. I was so focused on my faults I was unable to fathom that I had gifts and talents. Sure many people told me I was gifted/talented but I denied it…and not out of humility. I just knew they were wrong!

The past few weeks I’ve been forcing myself to look back. At first the emotional pain was intensely overwhelming and at times very scary. In doing so, however, there was also great freedom. I realized that until I faced the crap behind me I’d never be able to see the possibilities before me which to my surprise really are endless.

So here I am just a few short weeks till I turn 23 discovering who I am…really. I call it my quarter life crisis. I’m done surviving life. I’m ready to thrive! With God for me who would dare be against me!? Sure, some days are downright brutal and I feel defeated but I am a survivor. No…I’m a fighter dangit! I will not give up!

That said, please join me as I prayerfully consider several specific future directions that in the past I had barely allowed myself think about. My whole life God has made the “impossible” possible. I expect nothing less in the days, weeks, and years to come! Gloria A Dios!!!

*Editors Note: I think Tia has come a long way! She is more confident of herself than ever.  There's a great deal of potential in this young lady.  I believe that she will find it, too!  Let's keep Tia in our prayers and each other.  Thanks againm Tia!  You Can Do It!

Can’t Make You Love Me – Various Styles – Same Meanings!

Tank’s song is being rotated on the radio now.   No offense his fans but to me, he can’t come close to either of these people on this blog.  Don’t get me wrong, Tank can sing but I’m not sure he’s feeling it the way Bonnie, Nancy, and Will are feeling it.  There have been singers who tried to duplicate but these three takes us where we all had wanted “that” person to love us but wouldn’t.  We can’t claim broken-hearted if they never cared in the first place but we can feel “broken.”  For those of us that have that loved returned, cherish it and protect it.  Close your eyes, lay back, relax, and meditate.  I wish you well.

I Can’t Make You Love Me – Nancy Wilson

I Can’t Make You Love Me – Bonnie Raitt

I Can’t Make You Love Me – Will Downing

The House That Built Me - Miranda Lambert

God Is Here - Karen Clark-Sherard

I Wish I Wasn't - Heather Headley

In My Mind - Heather Headley

Share My Life - Kem

A Mother's Love - Kem

Motivation - Kelly Rowland - Lil Wayne

So Far Away - Marsha Ambrosia - Wow! A Real Twister!

“Lo, I Am With You Always”

When tragedies and hardships come our way, so many of us question why?  If we look around, everybody has some kind of tragedy to overcome.  This past weekend, tornadoes and thunderstorms went through Alabama, Mississippi, Georgia and the Carolinas leaving deaths and destruction.  South Carolina had some rain and some lightening but the others caught the bulk of the force.  We heard reports how the parents and children died together and how some parents died shielding their children to keep them alive.  What are we willing to go through in times of danger?  What was going through their minds being in the middle of harm’s way?  Homes and buildings were destroyed and where was God in the midst of this?  I believe that he was there and that God never leaves us.  Who am I to question God’s actions?  God’s own son was sacrificed for us and Jesus suffered some serious hardships.  How can I even begin, being created by Him, to presume I even understand why things happen?  I don’t have a clue?  I don’t think we are ever absent from God, if anything, we are absent from His love.  Even in our darkness absent of His light, God is still with us.  Somewhere and somehow along our life’s experiences when we lost our innocence, we also lost our faith and trust.  When we were children, we just knew that we would be provided for.  We didn’t always get the things that we wanted but we quickly seemed to forget it and move on to something else.  As adults, we hold grudges.  We might forgive but we can’t forget.  Even though we might have the same experience, those experiences affect us differently.  I don’t have to get into what is a positive or negative attitude, you can figure that out.  But we can agree that it might have something to do with our way of handling tragedies.  I can say this, it’s not ever easy.  That’s why we need to remember that through it all Jesus is always with us.

Annual Memorial Service for Highway Fatality Victims – April 9, 2011

Too Many Names

Each year the South Carolina Department of Public Safety (SCDPS) holds a memorial service to residents and visitors who have lost their lives on South Carolina highways. The memorial brings together families and friends of the deceased and hopes to educate the public in an effort to prevent future loss of life on the state’s roads. We lost more than 800 in 2010 in traffic collisions. They never returned home not even able to say goodbye. More than 700 people across South Carolina and other states attended this solemn service. You never know what people are going through, so always try to be understanding towards each other. There is more than enough pain and sorrow for all of us.

Something About That Name Jesus - Rance Allen Group

Old Minds In New Places!

Please go to this website and read the Pastor’s Update, click here. I enjoy talking to this pastor. His conversations are basic but still complex, woven with intricate, interconnected parts, which give us listeners something to think about long after the conversation has ended. I have quoted Reverend Colley before in this blog. In fact, you can reference the Wizard of Oz sometime ago. It was his discussion that caused me to dig deeper into what the featured characters were all about.

I know that I find myself using old thoughts in this new day and time of modern technology. We often talk of “back in the day” when everything seemed so good. But where were we “back in the day?” How old were we then? Did we have these burdens to carry and obstacles to deal with? Or were we younger with little or no responsibilities? I imagine that to some people “back in the day” wasn’t a very pleasant time and is glad that it’s over. Life’s experiences should have taught us something if we wanted to learn from it. But, I have to refer back to what Rev wrote in his update. Something that we all tend to forget when we overcome our problems and forget what we just been through. That is what do we have now compared to what we didn’t have? Just as the Israelites felt when they were led out of Egypt towards freedom and independence "they compared God’s grace and mercy with Pharaoh’s whips and chains and they preferred the whip." They forgot that they were traveling with God, Who makes all things possible! We can’t operate with the same mentality as we undergo internal and external changes. We must include God in our daily functions, even our most ordinary actions that we take for granted. They should always be done with faith and hope that we are serving a greater purpose than ourselves.

Can't Be Friends - Trey Songz

She Really Is Not Into You!

Fellows, I learned that no matter how much a man tries to appeal to a woman’s best interest, if she doesn’t want you, nothing is going to work.  She doesn’t want a relationship and she doesn’t want to be with you.  A “friend” is a term that she’ll use to keep you at arms distance.  In other words, “friends” don’t have to talk to you until they want to talk or need something.  Remember; she doesn’t want a relationship, she just got through a bad one.  She’s just not into you!  She really doesn’t want a friendship but she thinks that you might be a nutcase and do something stupid.  So, to avoid all of that getting to know each other and spending quality time doing so, she simply avoids talking to you during prescribed times.  Fellows, we’ll just need to fade out of their lives.  It’s not that they want us in it, anyway.  All the woman has to say is, “You don’t fit the profile of the type of man, I’m looking for.”  Or she can say, “You’re not my type and there is no chance in hell, I want you as a part of my life.  I don’t want to go to concerts or events with you.  I don’t want us to visit each other, and I definitely can’t see us as a couple.”  Understand that there is always one person in a potential relationship that loves the other more.  If you’re not compatible, drift away, my brother.  No use fooling yourself.  There’s no harm if you were buying her things, if you thought they she would look good in them.  You just might not ever see how your gifts would look on her but that’s life.  So regardless of how good you think she looks or how much she will make your life better, get out of the way and get a life.  Stop hoping, wishing, and praying that she’ll see the good in you.  She really is not into you!

My Heart Says Yes - Troy Sneed

"Breathe" by Tia D!

Breathing is a simple involuntary action that can be controlled by conscious thought but does not require it. At least for most of us. Apparently I’m the exception since at least 5 times in the last week people felt the need to remind me to do so.

I’m very much aware that when I get overly excited or overwhelmed the rate of the words coming out of my mouth tends to drastically increase (sometimes to the point of intelligibility). However, is it really necessary for you to remind me to breathe? I mean eventually I’ll have to take a breath…or risk passing out. Regardless, it brings to light a bigger question: Why am I so freakin’ neurotic?!

I am a hardcore worrier. I’m always worried about something. Like my appt this week. I worried about it for the last 2 weeks to the point that I was physically ill! Now, two days later I’m exhausted. And for what? It went better than I could’ve hoped! I was telling a co-worker of mine (whom I often confide in) how I felt like “the world had been lifted off my shoulders and I could breathe again.” Her response: “Knowing you, in the next 20 min you’ll find something new to worry about.” What the heck!? Why am I like this? And what is the world doing on my shoulders anyway?

In Matthew 11:28-30 Jesus says, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

Phillipians 4:6-7 says “do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Peace. That’s what I want! That’s what I need!! If Jesus is my savior why am I not at peace? That answer is actually quite simple. I’ve been searching for “the peace that surpasses all understanding” in all the wrong places. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with seeking help from a trusted friend/pastor/counselor, etc. BUT they are after all only humans. True peace comes from seeking the face of Jesus daily. Friends are meant to support you in your Christian walk…not define it. God created the path I’m on. He’s the One I need to seek for direction!

Proposal To Ban College Students From Voting!

This is another informative commentary from Lady Z!  She saw something very important that should bring notice to our representatives.  The ultra-cons has introduced a bill in the New Hampshire House of Representatives earlier this month to bar college students from voting in their college towns unless they live there before enrolling.  Another example of the class war.  If you don’t have the money/property you don’t have any rights.

“Just when I think I have heard it all regarding the Republican’s shock and fury over a black man being elected President of the United States, something else comes along to make me stop and say “unbelievable”. This morning I heard on the news that a legislator in New Hampshire is proposing legislation that would ban college students from voting in college towns. Now of course he claims that his proposal is based on the fact that college students often vote on emotions and don’t have enough life experiences to vote. But yet, it’s not a problem for an 18 year old to have enough life experience to decide to join the military and go off to war to serve, fight, and die for this country. I digress though so back to the original subject. The legislator was thoughtful enough to say that if the student’s parents own property in that college town, then the student can vote in that college town. Granted a lot of young people today don’t seem to be as mature and responsible as back in the day when I was a college student and probably even in the days before that, but that’s not the point. First of all, a LOT of young people are mature and responsible so that is not even an issue. The point is that somewhere along the line, there was a constitutional amendment that gave 18-year olds the right and privilege to vote and if that amendment was good enough for college students back then to be allowed to vote, then that right and privilege is still good enough for college students today.

Sure on the surface and at a glance, somebody might say the legislator has a point; but if you look deeper and recall, reports indicated that the 2008 election had the largest turnout of college students in history and that this turnout helped put Barak Obama in office. I think the legislator’s bill is in response to the 2008 election. There was also an incredibly high turnout of black voters in the 2008 election and what has happened in response to that? Georgia has passed a law requiring voter ID’s. South Carolina’s voter ID bill has passed in the Senate, and North Carolina is working on a voter ID bill. Are these new bills and laws coincidences and the legislators just happened to come up with these ideas AFTER the 2008 election? I don’t think so. These things are designed to make sure that another black person never ever occupies the White House again as President of the United States.”

This article begs the question are the ultra-cons are doing everything they can to keep out minorities from holding the highest office in the land?  If so, whatever they will try to do will backfire.  President Obama is a pioneer being the first “true” Black President.  But, he will not be the last.  More minorities will come along, maybe not in this lifetime but in another.  I appreciate different perspectives and this post is not leaning towards any political affiliation.  It states the real facts, whether we like them or not.  So, don’t play me with smoke screens of using the race cards, it’s also the class card.  Keep people poor and the world won’t care about the difference.

 Thanks again, Lady Z!  I appreciate this article.  Come back soon!

RIP Pfc. Kalin C. L. Johnson

A friend and former co-worker’s son was killed in Afghanistan Tuesday, March 8, 2011.  I remember when Kalin was six years old when his father introduced me to him.  He was a shy but curious young man who seemed set on making his father happy and proud.  Brent was both happy and proud for Kalin.  When Kalin became a father himself and made Brent a grandfather, it was all that could be said about “The Sheriff.”  Brent’s head was already big but it got harder for it to fit through doorways.  Brent was so happy and proud.  When Kalin talked to him about his military dreams, Brent was supportive regardless of how he might have felt inside.  I don’t have much to say on these types of things because a loss of a loved one is indescribable.  March is an unforgettable month for me as it is.  Brent is still so very, very proud of his son.  By the way, I didn’t mention that this strong-hearted man and his wife Kay, had lost another son about 10 years ago.  Keep these families in your prayers.

Tia's Midmorning Meditation

Life has a habit of throwing us curveballs. My life is no different. The key is how I handle those curveballs. You think by now I would’ve learned to hit them or in the very least get out of the way. But no. I see it coming and I close my eyes and hope it’ll magically go away.

Ok. Enough with the metaphor.

No matter who you are life has its ups and downs. Some can be predicted and some can’t. You don’t have to be a genius to figure that out. I guess I’m finally coming to the realization that the quality of my life isn’t just based on circumstances but much more so on my reaction to those circumstances.

Yeah, I know. That’s not exactly rocket science either. Proverbs 4:23 says “Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.”

Vigilance is a strong word. Pretty much the opposite of what I’ve been doing.

Living and Learning,

Tia

The Other Side by Tia D.

This is a beautiful and poignant poem written by a young lady who is facing a lot of obstacles in her life. I received her permission to post this heartfelt view of herself. I’ve said it before, that we all are going through something, it’s how we handle it. I believe this young lady has found a stabilizing force, her center, to overcome these things that are troubling. I sincerely believe that she found God to help her work through this.  Let's keep her in our prayers.

The Other Side

I’ve been through a lot in my twenty-two years

had more than my share of trials and tears.

But you do not know this ‘cause all that you see

Is a smiling face when you look at me.

You don’t see the fear that cuts to my core

Or pains from a past which I try to ignore.

I’m far too afraid to show you that side

And so yet again behind laughter I hide.

The laughter is real and the smiles are too

So please do not think I’m lying to you.

It’s just that I really want you to see

That fun-loving side is just one part of me.

The other side, which I seldom reveal,

(in its entirety) has the power to steal

The smile from my face and the prance in my walk

And so of it I don’t often talk.

It’s not that I won’t or don’t want to share.

The fact of the matter is I want you to care.

I want you to listen and I want to hear.

There’s freedom in sharing. A freedom from fear.

2-18-11

tmd

What's On Your Mind?

These are actual excerpts from an Atlanta Journal Constitution about NPR’s Vice-President of fundraising, Ron Schiller being secretly recorded. The truth hurts and it is amazing how being “ambushed, set-up” is widely accepted especially how much of it was edited. I wonder if the shoe was on the other foot, would the outcry be controlled by the media, too?

NPR officials scrambled Tuesday to contain damage caused by the release of a secretly recorded videotape that showed an executive calling Tea Party supporters "racist" and questioning his organization's reliance on federal funding.

Read and believe that this is how people think and what they truly believe in. I did not use any of the names but the links are in red.

‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘
teaparty people are not racist , however black people are not racist either just like some of the comments the NAACP and other black leaders tell us all the time. This cry racist is a old democratic tactic to hide their true intentions, to shame people into believing they the democrats are the party of civil rights which is wrong. Democrats instituted slavery, Jim Crow, fought against all civil rights legislation even the 1957 civil rights acts, and the 1964 civil rights act, so now the tea party comes along and trys to open the eyes of america on government corruption in both parties and democrats cry racist. This bull will not work again, and I am a minority, I hear racist rants from blacks all the time about whitey, and republicans.

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and I agree the “tea party” members are mostly racists….they did not say a word when George Bush was running up the debt but soon as Obama came into office now its “we want our country back?” you guys are complete idiots. No wonder people do not take you seriously. The Republicans hijack the white poor and sell them into the falsehood that one day they will be rich like u one day just to get their vote and u care nothing about them and they are too dumb and uneducated to realize theyre getting pimped….u pee on their backs and tell em its raining and they’ll believe it.

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So cut the damn money so these t-peers can shut up. Like ACORN, NPR will continue. As a matter of fact, NPR would probably skyrocket without the limitations that small portion of their budget.

T-peers are racist but like every other word in the English language it has a different meaning in the dictionary of those who seek “personal responsibility”. They don’t know that that term has an Aryan history either.

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The NAACP is not a racist organization. Please check your history before you begin to give out false information. In regards to the Tea Party, check the history of what the original Tea Party stood for and who the people were that were involved; the Tea Party members that arrived today are not the same people as the historical Tea Party members were. Where were these members when the Bush Family was down sizing America???!!!

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Just a bunch of angry, ignorant christians clinging to their hatred of any race, religion, or creed that differs from their beliefs. Bagger’s have much in common with Islamic fundamentalist’.

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I like Koolaid, blue in color. It turns my lips the color of Obama’s when he’s not telling the truth, which is unfortunately all the time.

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“So the employees with their blue lips from Koolaid can discriminate all they want, but employers and retailers cannot”

Meth or crack – which drug are you on?

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Race discrimination is illegal because it interfered with capitalism. Consequently the Commerce Clause in the Constitution was utilized to make it illegal and eventually expanded to encompass disability, gender, religion, etc. (via Section 2000e2 of Title 42 of the US Code). So the employees with their blue lips from Koolaid can discriminate all they want, but employers and retailers cannot. It’s all very acceptable in our Comfy Quilt of all that’s American.

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we should take a totally useless state, like utah or south carolina, and move all the teahadists there. put up a big fence. let them all kill each other off in a frenzy of holier than thou hatred. then we can get on with fixing america once all those morons are dead

you simply can’t fix stupid. our public education system is broken, clearly, else there wouldn’t be so many utterly gullible americans strutting around complaining about government money while suckling the government teat. best thing to do would be to let them kill each other off in the name of Jesus or NASCAR or whatever these idiots hold dearest

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I see no problem with what this guy said.

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Enough said.  Georgia folks, our neighbors, don't seem to think much of South Carolina.

Cee-Lo & Melanie Fiona - Fool For You!

Stand Back & Watch The Master At Work!!!

It’s interesting how God works.  It’s best to simply adjust your plans and let Him plan for you.  Sometimes you can see His purpose, which is usually afterwards, and sometimes you never do.  Then again, we guestimate what His purpose his anyway.  Case in point, myself.  I was supposed to be off on a Saturday in two weeks.  My schedule was changed to take this Sunday off because I was needed that Saturday.  Of course, I had a mild attitude but I adjusted because I decided to use this in my favor as time-off in the future.  Still I was a little depressed because this is also the same time period three years ago when my mom made her transition from this world.  It’s still a very tough time for me because I really do miss her.  It’s even harder just to discuss this but I think it is necessary to show how good God is and how His wisdom and plans for us supersedes anything we have for ourselves.  Besides, I don’t care if you don’t believe in God, I do.  It’s your thing.  I digress.  My mom suffered her stroke on March 6, 2008 between 5:00 p.m. and until she was found approximately 10:00 p.m.  I know about 5 because it was the last time I talked to her and she said she wasn’t feeling well.  We told each other we love you.  There's nothing like a mother's love.  Little did I know how much my life will change in those next few seconds.  I will never be the same.  My spirit told me to go see her and take her to the doctor’s office but mom told me don’t worry, she’ll be alright, and that she made an appointment to see the doctor in the morning.  Her morning never came.  She passed the day after Easter, March 24^th.  Interesting enough I’m off this Sunday which is March 6, 2011.  It’s supposed to be a very rainy, gloomy day, a stay-at-home day.  I wouldn’t be much help around people.  I will need to be alone with myself that day to reminisce.  My point is we have to let go and let God.  I think that it is important to realize how blessed we are and not to take anything for granted.  I know that it is hard to release that control to someone we don’t see but our faith and developing that relationship will make things easier.  Losing someone you love is never easy even if they are still alive.  You gave them your heart and they decided that it wasn’t good enough so you parted ways.  But losing your loved one from a sickness or death, I can’t begin to explain the emptiness.  There is no comparison.  Again, I can only speak for myself.  We can get over lost loves and broken hearts finding another to replace what we lost.  There are just some people in our lives that can never be replaced.  My mother was such a person.

Beyond Color

I’ve been on some major projects lately and haven’t forgotten my other duties.  Some have priority over others.  Every now and then I do see some wonderful things that should be presented and this is one that drew my attention.  It is a great article on race issues.  Short but very much to the point.  The title is “Defining Color Beyond Hues”.  The link is attached to the title.  Briefly, it’s about the author’s daughter’s conversation on race.  It’s amazing what little children see through their eyes and what happens to us after we become adults regarding racial attitudes.  Yes, they have an interracial family through the author’s sister who married out of their race.  Does it make a difference to any of us?  Some of us it does.  I can’t lie, it used to make a difference to me.  I couldn’t see any reason to love, let alone, marry, someone out of my race.  But as I’ve gotten older, whose business is it anyway, who people marry?  More importantly, when two people can give love unconditionally to each other regardless of race they are showing me just how strong that relationship is.  It’s complex loving someone in your own without dealing with race as a major obstacle.  Nevertheless, we do tend to change our attitudes later in life, well some of us do.  Some people who still feel the need to hate won’t change but they are the ones who are missing out on the beauty of life.  Maybe if we see a jerk, it doesn't matter what color he is.

Jennifer Hudson - Where You At!

Real Love

I was at Mass this morning when an elderly couple sat behind me.  I noticed how caring the husband was for his wife.  He asked her for his glasses from her pocketbook.  She evidently looked into the wrong place because he gently told her, “No babe, that’s not where you put it”.  I don’t know what she was going through.  It could be some type of absent-mindedness, dementia, Alzheimer’s or whatever.  It doesn’t matter.  It was the loving way that he talked to her and treated her that made me think about real love.  Like the Bible said, “Love is patient, love is kind, etc”.  It talks of love persevering and everlasting.  I saw a wonderful display of this kind of love.  I don’t know what they were like when they were younger but it’s what I see now.  And from what I’ve seen and heard they have the real thing.  The problem with this generation is that we don’t have the patience, understanding, and perseverance in our relationships.  It’s easier to give up than work things out.  Relationships are like trees, they require a lot of care after the seedlings are planted, but the ground has to be fertile and fit enough for them to gestate.  Then, a lot of tender loving care is necessary.  Once the trees take root, they get stronger, the roots get deeper and the limbs stretch out.  But storms and bad weather come and test their perseverance and fortitude. It is disappointing that only a few relationships are able to survive the onslaught of gossip, hearsay, distrust, betrayal, and accusations.  Even through all of this, many couples remain together because the public perception would be that another relationship failed.  They are miserable but stay together because some people are more concerned about what others say than their mates.

I Believe - James Fortune & Others

Whatever Valley You’re In, God Is Up To Something!

I overslept this morning and missed Mass this past Sunday.  I usually feel remorse when this happens but I was just tired discombobulated that morning.  But I wanted to give God some time so instead of going to church, I brought church to me by listening to T.D. Jakes, Joel Osteen and for the very first time, Dr. Charles Stanley.  I truly believed that sermon was meant for me to listen to.  Yes, it was my first time giving Dr. Stanley any attention, I did try before some time back but his approach didn’t grab me.  I don’t know, maybe it just wasn’t what I wanted to hear.  I like Joyce Myers, too.  I think this time with Dr. Stanley, I felt a very personal approach, especially, his explanation about how he felt when he lost his mother.  There are so many people that have shared some time in the valley for so many reasons.  But what impressed me most about Dr. Stanley was his explanation on why we were in the valleys.  Here are Dr. Stanley’s four points dealing with valleys.  1) Surrender your life to God. 2) Believe that the valley experience will work for our good.  3) Rest in God.  4) Thank God for bringing you through the valley.  God takes us to another mountain.  To give a testimony don’t we have to go through a test?  Another important tenet is what did we learn?  We have to go through the valleys to get to another mountain.  God is leading us to better things.  We can’t understand the preparation but our Shepherd won’t lead us astray.  All we need to do is follow Him and strengthen our relationship with God.  The Good Shepherd takes care of His sheep because He loves us and only wants the best for us.  The same thing a loving and caring father would do.  The valleys are opportunities for us to establish a relationship with God.  At the time we don’t see it.  All we see are the problems and our focus is more on why is this happening to us and our loved ones.  How can we think we are heading to another mountain when all we see are major concerns?  The Lord is our Shepherd (23^rd Psalm).  David knew what was going on.  In his valleys he still cried out to God for help and forgiveness.  But despite what David was going through, he did not take his focus on how merciful and loving God is.  The 23^rd Psalm is a very powerful prayer, a prayer said more times in sorrow than joy.  Yet, it is a joyous prayer stating that our needs are met and that we have nothing to fear because God is always with us.  “Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever”.  How faithful was David?  How faithful can we be?

Lord, I Am Not Worthy … (Matthew 5:13)

Yes, Lord, I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the word and my soul shall be healed.  Restore in me the faith that I lost believing in myself.  You believed in me when nobody else did.  It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks, it’s what I do that is pleasing in your sight.  They don’t know what I’ve been through or going through.  They judge me and don’t know me.  But You knew me before I was born and You knew the purpose that I was created for.  Strengthen me with wisdom and understanding, Lord, so that I can share the blessings with others.  Make me an instrument of Your Will to direct my voice to say the right words guiding my brothers and sisters in the direction You want us to go.  We all have lost direction from so many trials and tribulations that seem to surround us.  We lost our stability when we lost sight of you and the waves of despair and hopelessness toss us about.  My friends and family mock me because I chose to follow you.  And as a result, I have lost them.  I never renounced them or criticized their ways because who am I to judge?  We are all weak and stumble through this maze called life.  The people we loved are no longer with us, you have taken them home to be with You.  There is emptiness left in our hearts along with the memories they left behind.  Your servant David was a man after Your heart.  David was an imperfect man, a man that stumbled and fell, but he kept You first.  David and so many others who did Your Will are examples for all us to follow as men who are imperfect but want to do the right thing in Your sight, Lord.  But, didn’t Your Son, Jesus, select imperfect men to be His Apostles?  They were examples for all us to follow.  They changed their ways and so can we.  It’s not easy doing to right thing.  The ways of the world can choke us like thorns. Maybe, it’s not really life or its difficulties we have the problems with.  Maybe, the problem is dealing with ourselves and the choices we make.  Lord, I will not renounce my love for You and I am thankful for Your many blessings.

“Your Past and Your Future Can Not Coexist!”



The Future is Bright and Indescribable!



Read it again, now say it slow, and let it soak.  “Your Past and Your Future Can Not Coexist!”  Think about it.  Reverend Colley, a confidant, God’s soldier, told me this yesterday.  In one of his sermons, he told his congregation that 2011 is empty.  It’s up to us how we fill it.  We can’t look back at last year and think that if we continue the same things we did that they’ll somehow change this year.  We can learn from the past, if we choose to gain experience, knowledge and wisdom from it.  This can shape us in a positive, productive way.  But our past and future cannot exist side by side on the same plane.  They must remain separate.  Visions and dreams of the future are learned from the past but in order to go forward we must look ahead.  Try walking backwards.  You will always see where you’ve been but you don’t have a clue to where you going.  In fact, you just might back into something you didn’t mean to which could be a major problem.  Has any of this sunk in yet?  If you had a bad relationship with someone, do you carry the baggage to a new one?  If you do, what usually happens?  That relationship ends most likely like the previous one.  But, if you had a bad experience with a vendor but the company is now under new management, would you return because you have seen that the services are now more customer-related and superb?  Yes, the past was an experience but you learned from it.  We all go through something.  None of us are exempt from having problems, trials and tribulations are a part of living.  But having God by our side, we can turn and face forward to deal with the concerns of today.  Why worry about tomorrow when we don’t have any control over today.  We can only hope and pray that God’s blessings will always be with us.  I think it’s good to know where you've been but better to strive for improvement in the future.  The choice is yours!

MLK Birthday!

Tomorrow the nation, states and some communities will celebrate the birthday of Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King.  He died for what he believed in which were equality and peace.  Just recently we have seen the opposite actions from how our fellow Americans feel towards each other depending on classes and political affiliations.  Acts of terror and soon to be harmful legislation will be enacted by the ruling party in charge.  If we expect much change, we should accept what we get if we don't participate in the voting process.  Dr. King wasn't a perfect man but name me any man that was.  We all have an obligation to stand up for what is right.  This includes our youth, who seems more preoccupied dealing with texting and anything other than current events that will affect them presently and in the future.  Let us all take lessons from this man who believed in peace towards each other, not in violent actions that we have experienced already.  Happy Birthday, Dr. King.  May your Dream never be denied.

Pessimism – The Butt-End of Optimism!

We’re not comparing the half-empty glass, the grass is always greener on the other side, so on and etc.  We’re talking about the cliché “When the going gets rough, the tough get going!”  In other words, dear friends, things are rough but they could always be rougher.  During trying times we regain our faith after we lost it when everything was going well.  We didn’t need or appreciate the blessings we were getting from the Lord because we actually thought we were in control.  Sometimes many of are just the opposite about losing our faith during trying times.  But, it doesn’t matter, we remain inconsistent.  When love was going our way we were happy with the world when we can’t keep it we blame the other for the disconnection.  It’s no wonder why some people rather remain single for the rest of their lives.  But, the question is; Are they Optimistic or Pessimistic?  Do they believe in love after being broken hearted?  I know I didn’t.  The feel for just being around that someone special may not return a mutual appreciation.  We fall head over heels and think that they are that special one in our lives.  We write them, poetry, send flowers, invitations to do things together, profess our love and loyalty but we barely get a moment of their time.  We wind up disappointed and discouraged but we can still choose be an pessimistic ass; or be optimistic with a positive attitude learning from experiences.  I think that life is short and not to always wait until later to tell someone how you feel.  But that’s my thoughts.  There will always be people that will not treat you right.  You need to think if you are in that same category.  It’s not easy being optimistic, the same as living in faith.  We just have to keep trying even when we stumble along the way.  Recognize your blessings!  What is meant for you, no man can take it away.  And if it wasn’t meant for, stay up, it could have been worse!

‘Heroism is here’ – President’s Obama Tucson Memorial – 1/12/11

TUCSON, Ariz. — Remarks of President Barack Obama, as delivered Wednesday at the "Together We Thrive" memorial service for the victims of the Jan. 8 attack on Rep. Gabrielle Giffords that killed six and wounded 13, including the congresswoman:

"To the families of those we've lost; to all who called them friends; to the students of this university, the public servants gathered tonight, and the people of Tucson and Arizona: I have come here tonight as an American who, like all Americans, kneels to pray with you today, and will stand by you tomorrow.

"There is nothing I can say that will fill the sudden hole torn in your hearts. But know this: the hopes of a nation are here tonight. We mourn with you for the fallen. We join you in your grief. And we add our faith to yours that Representative Gabrielle Giffords and the other living victims of this tragedy pull through.

"As Scripture tells us:
'There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy place where the Most High dwells.
God is within her, she will not fall;
God will help her at break of day.'

"On Saturday morning, Gabby, her staff, and many of her constituents gathered outside a supermarket to exercise their right to peaceful assembly and free speech. They were fulfilling a central tenet of the democracy envisioned by our founders — representatives of the people answering to their constituents, so as to carry their concerns to our nation's capital. Gabby called it "Congress on Your Corner" — just an updated version of government of and by and for the people.

"That is the quintessentially American scene that was shattered by a gunman's bullets. And the six people who lost their lives on Saturday — they too represented what is best in America.

"Judge John Roll served our legal system for nearly 40 years. A graduate of this university and its law school, Judge Roll was recommended for the federal bench by John McCain 20 years ago, appointed by President George H.W. Bush, and rose to become Arizona's chief federal judge. His colleagues described him as the hardest-working judge within the Ninth Circuit. He was on his way back from attending Mass, as he did every day, when he decided to stop by and say hi to his representative. John is survived by his loving wife, Maureen, his three sons, and his five grandchildren.

"George and Dorothy Morris — "Dot" to her friends — were high school sweethearts who got married and had two daughters. They did everything together, traveling the open road in their RV, enjoying what their friends called a 50-year honeymoon. Saturday morning, they went by the Safeway to hear what their congresswoman had to say. When gunfire rang out, George, a former Marine, instinctively tried to shield his wife. Both were shot. Dot passed away.

"A New Jersey native, Phyllis Schneck retired to Tucson to beat the snow. But in the summer, she would return East, where her world revolved around her 3 children, 7 grandchildren, and 2 year-old great-granddaughter. A gifted quilter, she'd often work under her favorite tree, or sometimes sew aprons with the logos of the Jets and the Giants to give out at the church where she volunteered. A Republican, she took a liking to Gabby, and wanted to get to know her better.

"Dorwan and Mavy Stoddard grew up in Tucson together — about seventy years ago. They moved apart and started their own respective families, but after both were widowed they found their way back here, to, as one of Mavy's daughters put it, "be boyfriend and girlfriend again." When they weren't out on the road in their motor home, you could find them just up the road, helping folks in need at the Mountain Avenue Church of Christ. A retired construction worker, Dorwan spent his spare time fixing up the church along with their dog, Tux. His final act of selflessness was to dive on top of his wife, sacrificing his life for hers.

"Everything Gabe Zimmerman did, he did with passion — but his true passion was people. As Gabby's outreach director, he made the cares of thousands of her constituents his own, seeing to it that seniors got the Medicare benefits they had earned, that veterans got the medals and care they deserved, that government was working for ordinary folks. He died doing what he loved — talking with people and seeing how he could help. Gabe is survived by his parents, Ross and Emily, his brother, Ben, and his fiancée, Kelly, who he planned to marry next year.

"And then there is nine year-old Christina Taylor Green. Christina was an A student, a dancer, a gymnast, and a swimmer. She often proclaimed that she wanted to be the first woman to play in the major leagues, and as the only girl on her Little League team, no one put it past her. She showed an appreciation for life uncommon for a girl her age, and she would remind her mother, "We are so blessed. We have the best life." And she'd pay those blessings back by participating in a charity that helped children who were less fortunate.

"Our hearts are broken by their sudden passing. Our hearts are broken — and yet, our hearts also have reason for fullness.

"Our hearts are full of hope and thanks for the 13 Americans who survived the shooting, including the congresswoman many of them went to see on Saturday.

I have just come from the University Medical Center, just a mile from here, where our friend Gabby courageously fights to recover even as we speak. And I want to tell you — her husband Mark is here and he allows me to share this with you — right after we went to visit, a few minutes after we left her room and some of her colleagues in Congress were in the room, Gabby opened her eyes for the first time. Gabby opened her eyes for the first time.

So I can tell you, she knows we are here and she knows we love her and she knows that we will be rooting for her throughout what undoubtedly will be a difficult journey. We are there for her.

"And our hearts are full of gratitude for those who saved others.

We are grateful to Daniel Hernandez, a volunteer in Gabby's office. And, Daniel, I'm sorry, you may deny it, but we've decided you are a hero because you ran through the chaos to minister to your boss, and tended to her wounds and helped keep her alive.

We are grateful for the men who tackled the gunman as he stopped to reload. We are grateful for petite Patricia Maisch, who wrestled away the killer's ammunition, and undoubtedly saved some lives. And we are grateful for the doctors and nurses and first responders who worked wonders to heal those who'd been hurt. We are grateful to them.

"These men and women remind us that heroism is found not only on the fields of battle. They remind us that heroism does not require special training or physical strength. Heroism is here, in the hearts of so many of our fellow citizens, all around us,, just waiting to be summoned — as it was on Saturday morning.

"Their actions, their selflessness, poses a challenge to each of us. It raises the question of what, beyond the prayers and expressions of concern, is required of us going forward. How can we honor the fallen? How can we be true to their memory?

"You see, when a tragedy like this strikes, it is part of our nature to demand explanations — to try to impose some order on the chaos, and make sense out of that which seems senseless. Already we've seen a national conversation commence, not only about the motivations behind these killings, but about everything from the merits of gun safety laws to the adequacy of our mental health systems. Much of this process, of debating what might be done to prevent such tragedies in the future, is an essential ingredient in our exercise of self-government.

"But at a time when our discourse has become so sharply polarized — at a time when we are far too eager to lay the blame for all that ails the world at the feet of those who think differently than we do — it's important for us to pause for a moment and make sure that we are talking with each other in a way that heals.

"Scripture tells us that there is evil in the world, and that terrible things happen for reasons that defy human understanding. In the words of Job, "when I looked for light, then came darkness." Bad things happen, and we must guard against simple explanations in the aftermath.

"For the truth is none of us can know exactly what triggered this vicious attack. None of us can know with any certainty what might have stopped those shots from being fired, or what thoughts lurked in the inner recesses of a violent man's mind. Yes, we have to examine all the facts behind this tragedy. We cannot and will not be passive in the face of such violence. We should be willing to challenge old assumptions in order to lessen the prospects of such violence in the future.

"But what we can't do is use this tragedy as one more occasion to turn on one another. That we cannot do. That we cannot do. As we discuss these issues, let each of us do so with a good dose of humility. Rather than pointing fingers or assigning blame, let us use this occasion to expand our moral imaginations, to listen to each other more carefully, to sharpen our instincts for empathy, and remind ourselves of all the ways our hopes and dreams are bound together.

"After all, that's what most of us do when we lose somebody in our family — especially if the loss is unexpected. We're shaken out of our routines, and forced to look inward. We reflect on the past. Did we spend enough time with an aging parent, we wonder. Did we express our gratitude for all the sacrifices they made for us? Did we tell a spouse just how desperately we loved them, not just once in a while but every single day?

"So sudden loss causes us to look backward — but it also forces us to look forward, to reflect on the present and the future, on the manner in which we live our lives and nurture our relationships with those who are still with us.

"We may ask ourselves if we've shown enough kindness and generosity and compassion to the people in our lives. Perhaps we question whether we are doing right by our children, or our community, and whether our priorities are in order. We recognize our own mortality, and are reminded that in the fleeting time we have on this Earth, what matters is not wealth, or status, or power, or fame — but rather, how well we have loved, and what small part we have played in making the lives of other people better.

"That process of reflection, of making sure we align our values with our actions — that, I believe, is what a tragedy like this requires. For those who were harmed, those who were killed — they are part of our family, an American family 300 million strong. We may not have known them personally, but surely we see ourselves in them. In George and Dot, in Dorwan and Mavy, we sense the abiding love we have for our own husbands, our own wives, our own life partners. Phyllis — she's our mom or grandma; Gabe, our brother or son. In Judge Roll, we recognize not only a man who prized his family and doing his job well, but also a man who embodied America's fidelity to the law. And in Gabby, in Gabby, we see a reflection of our public spiritedness, and that desire to participate in that sometimes frustrating, sometimes contentious, but always necessary and never-ending process to form a more perfect union.

"And in Christina … in Christina we see all of our children. So curious, so trusting, so energetic and full of magic.

"So deserving of our love.

"And so deserving of our good example. If this tragedy prompts reflection and debate, as it should, let's make sure it's worthy of those we have lost. Let's make sure it's not on the usual plane of politics and point scoring and pettiness that drifts away in the next news cycle.

"The loss of these wonderful people should make every one of us strive to be better. To be better in our private lives, to be better friends and neighbors and co-workers and parents. And if, as has been discussed in recent days, their death helps usher in more civility in our public discourse, let us remember that it is not because a simple lack of civility caused this tragedy — it did not — but rather because only a more civil and honest public discourse can help us face up to the challenges of our nation in a way that would make them proud.

"It should be civil because we want to live up to the example of public servants like John Roll and Gabby Giffords, who knew first and foremost that we are all Americans, and that we can question each other's ideas without questioning each other's love of country, and that our task, working together, is to constantly widen the circle of our concern so that we bequeath the American dream to future generations.

"They believed — they believed and I believe we can be better. Those who died here, those who saved life here — they help me believe. We may not be able to stop all evil in the world, but I know that how we treat one another, that's entirely up to us. And I believe that for all our imperfections, we are full of decency and goodness, and that the forces that divide us are not as strong as those that unite us.

""That's what I believe, in part because that's what a child like Christina Taylor Green believed.

"Imagine, imagine for a moment: here was a young girl who was just becoming aware of our democracy; just beginning to understand the obligations of citizenship; just starting to glimpse the fact that some day she, too, might play a part in shaping her nation's future. She had been elected to her student council; she saw public service as something exciting, something hopeful. She was off to meet her congresswoman, someone she was sure was good and important and might be a role model. She saw all this through the eyes of a child, undimmed by the cynicism or vitriol that we adults all too often just take for granted.

"I want us to live up to her expectations. I want our democracy to be as good as Christina imagined it. All of us — we should do everything we can to make sure this country lives up to our children's expectations.

"As has already been mentioned, Christina was given to us on September 11th, 2001, one of 50 babies born that day to be pictured in a book called "Faces of Hope." On either side of her photo in that book were simple wishes for a child's life. 'I hope you help those in need,' read one. 'I hope you know all of the words to the National Anthem and sing it with your hand over your heart. I hope you jump in rain puddles.'

"If there are rain puddles in heaven, Christina is jumping in them today. And here on Earth — here on this Earth, we place our hands over our hearts, as we commit ourselves as Americans to forging a country that is forever worthy of her gentle, happy spirit.

"May God bless and keep those we've lost in restful and eternal peace. May He love and watch over the survivors. And may He bless the United States of America."

© 2010 msnbc.com Reprints

The President's Memorial Speech in Tucson, AZ, 1/12/11!!!

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Should There Be A Debate On Who’s To Blame?

Since Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords attempted assassination and the killing of 6 innocent people last Saturday, January 8^th, fingers on both sides of the aisles have been passing the blame.  To me it’s so remarkable that so many people actually believe hate-speech has nothing to do with me.  The 22 year old assassin wounded so many people and appeared to feel no remorse for his dastardly deeds.  I’m glad he was caught.  There were a couple of heroes, including senior men and women who took action in apprehending the villain.  No I didn’t mention his name, he doesn’t deserve it.  I’m pointing the finger at all of us.  Our politicians knew this would happen when you have activists carrying guns to Presidential rallies, activists spitting on politicians and calling them names because of the way they voted.  Were these same activists, radio and TV personalities so venomous with the prior administration?  Come on people, we need to stop fooling ourselves.  Why waste your time on who’s to blame.  No one spoke out against these zealots during these extremely volatile and heated gatherings.  We all know how easy it is to brainwash someone.  Even rap music brainwashes our youth so what do you expect when the media does the same thing?  Someone is weak enough that they will act and will believe that they will be considered a hero by some.  What a shame that we are no better.  Keep the victims and survivors in your prayers.  Pray for this country and leadership and remember that God is always in control.

History In The Making!

Nimrata "Nikki" Randhawa Haley was sworn in as the first woman governor in the history of South Carolina.  The former governor Jim Sanford watched along the sidelines as the first non-white governor took the reigns of control.  I wonder how this will play out since she was supported by the Tea Party.  This will be very interesting and I don’t think she will be supportive of state employees and the under-represented.  I still believe that she has higher aspirations as did our former governor who gave it all up for his Argentinean lover.

Snow In South Carolina!

In fact, snow covered the entire Southeast except Florida.  Then ice came later.  From Monday, January 10, 2011 even up to now January 12, 2011, snow is still on the ground.  It’s just covered with a ¼ inch sheet of ice.  The temperatures haven’t warmed up enough to melt it completely, just enough to turn it water to refreeze at night.  Over 2,600  auto crashes were reported during this time.  The children have been out of school, too!  It looks like they’ll get Thursday off due to black ice on some of the roadways.

Isaac Hayes - Walk on By

Sometimes I ask for too much, too quickly. As the saying goes, “Be careful for what you ask for, you might get what you want.” And what you get might not be what you want in the long run. If I stand back, it will seem that I’m withdrawn and aloof. If I jump in, I’m aggressive and too forward. I’m fighting too hard in the name of commitment. Finding that medium will be a task because being a centrist might be viewed with more caution. I do know that it is difficult to accept someone and at the same time wonder if their spirit is in-sync with yours. Maybe sitting on the sidelines might not be that bad after all. One thing is for sure, pride can get in the way. Pride can do you in. It was foolish of me to think that I could change your heart from someone who never left and to think that I could.

Jerry Butler I Need To Belong (To Someone)

You got to add some old school at one time or another.  It might as well be Jerry Butler.

Annie Lennox – Why?

Once again, she addresses relationships directly. Sometimes telling the person directly how much you feel for them frightens, offends and hurts.

Annie Lennox – No More “I Love You’s”

Try to listen to the words but check out the contradictions in the video. Annie is great at what she does.

Happy New Year, 2011!

It's another year and some people didn't wake up to it!  Let's be grateful that we did!  We have another chance to do better than we did the year before!  Let's cherish the moments we have, enjoy the company that we keep, help others when we can, and tell the people in our lives how much that we appreciate them!