Make Payback a Success

Pay your exes back by proving you can do without them and do even better! Remember, you don’t have to worry about proving anything to them anymore! You are a gift from God! There is always somebody, somewhere, that appreciate good things! Hold your head up high and get your stuff together!

It's Not Over Because We Are Over

Let me repeat myself again regarding breakups! People, no matter how much you believe that you can’t live without the one you love, get on your knees and thank God for the blessing! You are still alive!! What is wrong with you!! There is never a cause for you to even think about taking your life, especially making someone that doesn’t love you, feel miserable! Besides, how would you know if you’re not around? To me, it doesn’t make sense! For all you know, that person might even be glad that you’re completely out of the picture! People are breaking up everyday!! Some have good reasons and some don’t need reasons at all! Get over it, get pass it, and move on! I discussed this in previous entries. It’s not worth the negative energy. I have heard this from a man earlier this week and a woman today. Look around you! Read the news, look at the boob tube, people you don’t expect to break up, do! We all want to feel special by the people we love but life is real and sorrow and hurt, as well as, joy comes and goes as long as we live! So, ladies and gentlemen, step up your game! Excel in your endeavors and make them regret that they lost a good thing! Be successful. Lean on God! Do not take your life, instead, improve it! You’ll be depressed for a while, that’s understandable, but a stronger person will emerge from it! I wish you well!

Get Over the Mistakes

We all make mistakes. Some we can recover from, some we pay the consequences. We made the choice and we might not have included God in that choice. At least, He forgives us even if we want. At the end of the day, whose forgiveness do you think will count? Don’t carry the burden and don’t let anyone put one on you. Remember God is always in control.

Pray for Carl

My friend Carl has been going through some health problems that the doctors can’t seem to diagnose. He’s been to dentists, optometrists, ophthalmologists, ear, nose & throat specialists, neurologists, and more. They are sending him to the Mayo Clinic. His problem is a constant throbbing behind between his eyes and ears, some type of headache. Since he’s taken medication for it, on a pain scale of 1-10, it’s at a daily level of 4 for right now. Before then, Carl has hit some peaks. I ask that if you are reading this to please say a prayer for him. Prayer works when nothing else does. Is it prayer or our faith in prayer that takes us forward? Does it matter as long as we get positive results? Does it matter Who you believe in as long as you have somebody to pray to? Speaking for myself, it does matter! I believe in God, our Creator, regardless of what scientists or anyone say!

Lifetime Battles

We fight battles everyday it seems over health, finances, education, relationships, co-workers, jobs, neighbors, whomever or whatever we feel that are causing us unhappiness. These burdens can get so heavy that if we don’t be careful, they’ll become an obsession and drown us. Many of us know that it’s the devil who’s stirring up contention. We knew this already. The devil has had centuries of conning and deceiving mankind. Satan is doing everything he can to destroy anything good and he will do whatever it takes. Distract you from God long enough, he got you. It’s not always major problems that cause the shakeups. It can be some trivial things that can blow completely out of hand. But for some reason, we just don’t go to God to have Him fight our battles. His door is always opened. We’re such an “instant” society that we expect results as soon as we tell Him our problems. All I can say God is always on time. His Divine Plan is not the same as ours, but He knows what He’s doing. Look around you, there’s problems everywhere. Since the beginning of time, there have been problems. And the only one to overcome them has been God. If we don’t take our eyes off of him, we won’t sink. Keep Him in front of you and He’ll fight your battles, God doesn’t mind. He can handle it. Don’t be discouraged and just pray more.

Who's Right, Who's Wrong

There are usually “two sides to every story”, depending on how many people involved, it could be more. How many doesn’t really matter, it just adds more “sides of the story.” The problems begin when you hear only one side from the person talking to you. You’re not hearing from all involved. But we still weigh the information because we believe in the person telling us. Well, someone believes in the other person’s story, too! So who’s right or wrong? Do we actually have all the information we need to form a conclusion? Sometimes, the evidence is shown on the person’s face or property. That’s a pretty strong argument for who was abused. Verbal abuse and the like are harder to see. I’m just saying don’t always think you’re heard everything if you haven’t heard the whole story. Somewhere in-between is the truth. I still believe that a lot of problems we still with, starts within. It’s just easier to blame someone else for our own faults.

Separate and Go

A young person told me that sometimes in relationships one partner can’t talk about some matters of the heart with the other. So they find someone else to talk to. It could be dangerous, if you’re not careful. We really don’t tell our partner for fear it will hurt them or cause problems. Love refuses to cause pain it should be the tool to communicate openly and freely. Unfortunately, we don’t use love unconditionally. We keep the one person we wanted to share life with, out of our lives. We would rather keep the peace than be honest and truthful. That’s not giving our mate much credit. We don’t think they are that mature or capable of handling the “hard stuff.” Instead, we just continue to put up with “it.” Sooner, if not later, the two partners are heading separate ways. You can’t get back the time you had. Once it’s gone, it is gone. So many of us live a lifetime of unhappiness (fake) rather than face true happiness (Honesty).

Young folks have a lot going on in their heads. They deserve more credit than we give them. We just have to take time with them and listen. They have a lot to say.

Thank you for the compliments many of you have given me! You all have been really encouraging!

A Change is Gonna Come, If You Try

Today, I stepped out of my comfort zone. I am definitely taking a leap in faith. My greatest fear has always been rejection. I am facing this fear today by submitting my request to people I respect to share a part of my life with to read this blog. It will now be open to positive and negative comments. But the most important thing I have learned is, you never know if you don't try. You have to fail before you succeed. This is an opportunity to learn more about myself and my thoughts. It also gives me a chance to see what other people think. I always believed that we all are no different other than our complexions. We laugh, we cry, we have great expectations. We all want the best that life can give. We love our families, we want good jobs, trusted friends and want to go to heaven, peacefully. We make mistakes, some we regret, some we learn from. We can only strive to be better people starting from within. Look around you, the world is changing so fast it's unbelieveable. People are dying, suffering and having some hard times. We should be grateful for what we have than nothing at all.

Make It a Happy Ending Anyway

If it's a great movie or book you enjoy the ending. It's better when you know that it’s a happy ending! We all like winners! This includes the loser throughout the movie who finally wins at the end! That means so much! The kid who finally stands up to bullies, the employee that finally got recognized with a pay raise and/or promotion. The guy who finally wins the heart of the woman he always loved. I’m sure we could think of many more. Unfortunately, we live in reality and there are not many happy endings in life. We make the best of what is given to us. We can roll over and give up or we can stand up and fight back when we’re down. It’s up to us to decide what we want from life. It can get tough sometimes but we got to stay positive. Have a great 4th of July!

Don't Be Discouraged

There will be times when you might feel totally discouraged and unappreciated. There will be moments when no matter what you do for others it will never be enough, no matter how much you sacrificed. There will be days of emotional rollercoaster rides questioning your choices and decisions. Pick yourself up by the bootstraps, lift your head up and thank God for the blessings you already have and will receive. He will bring you through. Be patient and wait for Him. I know, He has never let me down. Everything happens for a reason. Pray for the wisdom and courage to accept it.

Never Give Up

I heard something extremely interesting on the radio this morning leaving church. A caller asked the MC to pray for her because she was close to committing suicide. He asked her why. “Because, her man moved in with another woman and her three sons and them with nothing,” she replied. The ex had turned off all of the power to the home, took the furniture and even the food. He had stopped making house payments so the caller was left to scrambling to keep what was left, which was the house. She asked for prayer and thanked God that she was still able to keep the house, but her ex and his new woman kept harassing her. This was driving her to suicide.

What I found puzzling was the caller. She was willing to give up her life because she was heartbroken. She did not think of the effect it would have on her four year old son. To me that was selfishness to the nth degree.

We concern ourselves so much about the success of relationships that we fail to see the millions of other blessings God has given us. The primary one is life. We are healthy, breathing and living. There are so many people suffering right now with terminal diseases, loss of limbs, loss of mentally capabilities and yet, we struggle with someone that doesn’t love us. Where are our priorities? I know, in the material realm.

Some of us are still dealing with relationships, past, present and future. Whatever the reasons for the good, bad, betrayals, careers first, strife and contention, major and/or trivial disagreements, we must find an equal balance to share our lives together. When it becomes an imbalance, the joy is gone and soon the love will follow.

Life Is A Surprise

Let's see now, where do I start? The older you get, the more you see and learn. Of course, this can be an argument in itself. As a child, some things go right by you, primarily, bills and death. On June 25, 2009, Farah Fawcett and Michael Jackson died. The day before was Ed McMahon. As we get older, we realize that life is short and we just don't have time for nonsense. Yet, we continue to act childish everyday. You made me angry so I won't talk to you. Or, you don't have time for me anymore so my excuse is to find someone that will. If we act like a fool expect to be treated like one. The truth of the matter is, we don't know the time or place when we are called to return, hopefully, to our heavenly home. But, we do seem to find time to make our lives and/or others complicated.

What Have We Learned?

We are living in historical times! The first black U. S. President, and awesome first lady, the first black Attorney General, governors & senators admitting affairs and a governor suggesting to secede from the union (Texas) are just part of the experience we are living! So many exciting things are taking place. Just yesterday, South Carolina's Governor admitted that he was in Argentina with his mistress spending Father's Day with her instead of with his wife and four boys. We all make mistakes, some we regret and all we hope that we learned a lesson from them. Yes, I feel for all parties involved because betrayal is heart-breaker and sometimes you just don't get over it. It affects even the people not involved. Affairs are usually caused because someone's needs are not met by the other partner. What's worse it's not discussed with the partner to try to resolve those needs in a timely manner. Then it becomes to late to amend the problem(s). Love is beautiful but it can hurt worse than some of us can ever imagine. I'm not justifying affairs and I don't judge people's actions. If two people are willing to reconcile then the indescretions should not be brought up ever again. If their love is deeper than stolen honey, they should find the roots and fertilize that love and start over again!

I Know Where My Help Comes

I do want to be clear about something. Yes, I thanked all of those folks that have made an impact, directly or indirectly, in my life. But, let's not forget who brought these things to happen. I believe in God, Who has made all of these things possible. I doubt if anyone will read this blog, of course, that is possible. But understand this, without God in my life, I would not have survived this long. To Him we give the glory and praise. I know where my help really comes from. The apostle Paul said, "I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity." Paul also said,"I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me." Check out Phillipians Chapter 4.

Thanks For The Memories

To all of the people that have ever crossed my path, went along, left along, met and were forgotten during this journey in life, I want to say thank you. All of those moments and some brief made me who I am and who you are. Haven't at one time during your journey, you wanted to tell someone how much you appreciated them? Don't misunderstand me, I'm not being morbid. I am appreciating the many blessing I have received. So many times, we take these blessings for granted. People are blessings, too! We just don't know what we had until its gone. And we think we're getting something better! We do fool ourselves quite a bit. We call it upgrading when we look for someone else in our relationships. Our excuses are usually "we can't get along", "he/she is not my type", "not moving fast enough for me", or the most noted "we're not on the same level." Whatever excuse that can be found, as long as it works, will suffice. It doesn't always take much to fool ourselves.

Voice From the Past

I did hear from my oldest niece who is married and have 3 children of her own. That was wonderful news. I remember playing tennis with her when she was a little girl. Mom & I went to her high school graduation and hadn't seen her for over 20+ years. We lost contact with her and somehow she found out mom had passed and found me. People we let misunderstandings get in our way but not discussing the way they make you feel from the person imposing that misunderstanding on you. That's what happened to us and it was via mail. What's worse, we had a misunderstanding on 2 different issues! After all this time, each of us thought something different. 2 way conversations can clear up possible problems better than texting or writing. Life is short and many of us just don't seem to get it. Do we feel we are wrong? Not always. Do we think there is a need to apologize? Again, not always. We are just lost, but we think we are on point. We have yet to understand the reason we are here in the first place. What makes us so smart that we know about handling the problem of living, of living with others?

Rest In Peace, Ron

It's been a while since my last post. One reason for me was getting too personal. Honestly, laziness. On June 9, 2009, the grandson of my confirmation God-Parents passed in his sleep. He was 44 years old. He left peacefully. I have always been close to his mother and grandmother which I consider a sister and mother, respectfully. They were there when my mother went to her heavenly home. He was a good young man who simply saw the best in life regardless of how life can throw curves your way. Maybe, if we made the best out of bad situations we could see things in better. But, since we bring a lot of problems on ourselves, we cloud our vision with regret and guilt. We fail to see the positive. Be careful how you treat people and what you say to people. There will come a time when you will need somebody.

Happy Mother's Day

Today is Mother's Day!! Happy Mother's Day!! I went to the cemetary, yesterday, and what was surprising to me was that I did not cry. I really expected to, but I have come to the point that I am at peace with myself. I placed a wreath at her grave and visited my father, grandmother, great grandmother and my oldest brother. I looked for my aunt but I couldn't find her. Nevertheless, I prayed for all that were there. Every day is a beautiful day, cherish it. Remember your ancestors and make them proud!

Happy Easter

Happy Easter! This is the day that Christ had risen! Let's not forget it! I went to Mass this morning and it was standing room only! The priest said how beautiful the lilies looked. He was not talking about the Easter lilies on the altar but the Easter lilies that came to Mass! This is a time to meditate and think of the ulitmate sacrifice made for love and salvation. This is also a time to think of the loved ones that are no longer here to share with you this glorious day! Some have separated, divorced, and moved on. Others have found their home with Our Lord and those are the ones, I, myself, truly miss! Last year, my mother passed the day after Easter although the dates were a week earlier. It does not matter to me, the day after Easter is the day after Easter. This was one of her favorite holy days, mom loved to sing and she sang at every holy day! When she got ill last year in 2008, deep inside of me, I knew she would rather sing at Mass. Well, I bet she's singing her heart out now! I love you, mom! It hurts sometimes, but I know that you don't want me to be sad! The best tribute I can give you is be a better man!

Where is Your Strength?

CHANGE, you made some good points. But keep in mind that there are two kinds of people in this world. People that will do and people that won't do. This can be argued on many levels but the basis holds true. What do we do when we know that we have the potential to excell? Are we afraid to strive for better things? Has rejection in loves and relationships cause us to lose focus within? You sound like someone who does have the potential to be more than you are. What are you willing to give up? You don't have to sell your soul to be successful. Just make up your mind to do it. Time waits for no one and the day will come when you wake up and find out you could have done but did not. Don't blame anyone for your mistakes.

Be Reasonable

Fellas, if your woman leaves you, but returns to discuss the reasons for the departure, don’t mistake the conversation as a way to get her in bed. True, you might be making up but that does not give you a reason to pregnate her to show your love. That’s not exactly responsible. A baby is not the answer. Some type of pressure was already the cause of the separation. Why add even more. But it all depends if either of you want the other one back anyway. Pregnancy is a helluva payback. By the way, she might want to get pregnant by you for payback. What an ironic twist. Real love is letting go and knowing that your love is in good hands. Accepting each other for the individuals that they are. Otherwise, if they are abusive in anyway, distrustful of any kind and damn deceitful for whatever reason. Exit, peacefully, and don't look back!

Imperfect People Make for Imperfect Relationships

Keep in mind, no relationship is perfect. We're going to screw up. It's not intentional but somewhere along the line, we hit a plateau. It's like losing weight. The last ten pounds don't want to budge. So what do we do to lose the pounds? Experts say shock the body muscles with diet and exercise. In other words, when the relationship gets stagnant, we have to do something different to bring back the magic. Maybe the parties involved need to be more creative and free in expressing their appeal for each other. I can't tell you what to do. That's something you and your mate must be comfortable doing. I definitely will not say go to work with your mate to have quality time because that's a crock. Quality time is not sharing work experiences. That's like you are a mortician and your mate hates being around dead people but your business is booming and you don't have time to spend at home or with your mate. So your idea of quality time is now having your mate come to work with you? Lets get real! We are not children. My professing my love for you does not mean doing something that I don't like and getting rediculed by you because I'm not spending quality time with you! Is it another excuse for you to find to end the relationship?

Love is Temporary

Think about it! What do we do when we are rejected, turned down or kicked to the curb? We feel sorry for ourselves! Our world stops!! We will never love again. We were pressured to act accordingly because that's what proving love is all about. We can be patience for them but they can't be for us. So we stay in these relationships giving excuses why it's necessary to be there. We have the choice and really no one can force us to do what we don't want to do!! Yet, it happens everytime. We always back down, it's what we do. I am still a sucker for love. I still believe it is real and unconditional. I also believe that it is temporary so enjoy it while you can! If that person loves you half as much as you love them, then be honest and communicate. Hopefully, you both can have something to be proud of.

Appreciate the Now

People come in and out of our lives. They are here to give us assistance, guidance and/or direction. Some of them give us love that we hope are permanent but usally temporary. We have talked about this before. Love is temporary even though we would like for it to last forever. But, if it stops coming from the one we do love, we can't stop loving ourselves. Too many of us sacrifice our self-esteem, confidence even independence to prove our love. Our world will not end because the love from another ends. All of us are better than that! It does not matter what we look like to them but it does matter what we look like to ourselves! And if we don't like the way we look, change!!!

It's Hard to Read Between the Lines

Sooner or later, you'll notice that she is pulling away. But during the meantime, she was being taken for granted. We guys really don't see between the lines. We think an apology, flowers and a I love you will keep the homefront steady. Our problem, our biggest problem is time. We always think we'll have another hour, day or month to make things right. What we sometimes have to offer is just not worth their time. Yeah, they might be happy at the time that you think everything is cool. It's a short time benefit without long term effects.

U-N-I-T-Y

Men & women see things differently, it’s our nature. At times, we will even disagree strongly about it. It depends on the dominant figure in the relationship. I believe that when the issue involves us collectively, we do come together. Unified, there is nothing that we cannot handle. Opposed, we will fall. Most of the time, the woman will win. How we handle our differences will depend on how greater the loss. In that case, who will be blamed for the failure? And where do we go from there?

Never Satisfied

Let's take this up another step. If you don't seem to ever get "it right", what does it take? And when you think it is "right", it is still not good enough. When will good enough be right enough? Why is there an excuse to constantly find fault with the other person, especially, when you're just as imperfect as the one you want perfect? Never satisfied!

Real Love is Unconditional

We continue to look for the right one even if they are under our nose. We wait for that feeling, that bolt of lightening, that knowing look that this is my future love. We get so infatuated that we ignore the red flags that pop-up. We can't seem to realize that we might be constantly critiqued or just not doing the right thing that we will never do the right thing in that person's eyes. We also might not realize that we are doing the same mess to our lover. We are not perfect but expect perfection in our better half. We all have issues and we need to get over them. Conditions may never be right for the lives we want but instead of working together, we indirectly work against each other. Love is unconditional which means we accept the faults, the imperfections. How many of us can say we love unconditionally? And really mean it?

2009

I didn't realize how fast time passed. It's 2009!!! It seemed that I have not gone a day without tearing up about my mom. I thank God everyday that this has made me stronger in faith. It hasn't been easy. But this experience is shared by many of us who have lost someone we truly cared about. Our loved ones and we will too, will go to a higher plain other than this earth. But, what about the loved ones that just simply moved away or out of our lives? That is another topic.

First Christmas Without Mom

Christmas is just four days away. The holidays are very different without my mom. I really miss her. She would always sang for me on our birthdays and was always a calm voice in stressful times. She taught us how to treat people with patience, respect and compassion. Yes, our lives are different because we are trying to practice these lessons. Merry Christmas, mom! We love you!

I'm Back

I'm back! We had a major change in our lives for 2008 in March. Our mother expired unexpectedly, the day after Easter, and it sent us for a loop. Talk about relationships! There is nothing like a mother's love, it's unconditional. I don't even know how to begin on this subject. We all wonder what we would do when we would lose a parent or a loved one. Well, to me, it's worse than you think. There are so many questions, thoughts and wishes that you wanted to ask, do, and make that leaves you empty. Without God, some of us would be lost and/or crazy. All I can say for those people that have suffered lost, it is rough. I know that I'm going through episodes esp., in quiet moments when I think of happy moments. Our mom didn't suffer, but we truly miss her.