God was skinning me layer by
layer like someone peeling a thick onion. One layer at a time peeled to each membrane
that separates the onion’s layers. Like
a skilled surgeon, methodical and meticulous, he exposed my faults. Parts of me were exposed that I did not know I
had. I could not tell the difference
between pain or fear because both were overwhelming and unbearable. I felt vulnerable and there was nothing I
could do about it. I felt like a baby
who could not fend for itself, waiting for someone to take care of me. I was broken.
Fear and distrust drove me to be
the type of person I am. It also kept me
from being the type of person I should be.
I kept out people with interests different than mine and I thought they
had other reasons to get close to me. You are a great friend until you are no longer needed. Most of us learned it the hard way. Don’t try to analyze me, I had a great childhood and loved my family and
friends.
I grew up in a time when society
was segregated. As young children, we
could not understand why we could not drink out of the same water fountains as
the white children. We could not go in
some restaurants but through the side door or servants’ entries. I remembered my first trip to New York was waiting for
the bus in a dusty baggage area instead of the clean waxed floor and
air-conditioned waiting room as our counterparts. They even had a water fountain, soda and a
snack machine. Our people would pack
brown bag lunches for us filled with fried chicken that could last the duration.
We had other snacks that would keep us full to avoid going in stores in
unfamiliar towns. We had to sit in the
back of the bus. Trains were not that
different, it did get us to our destinations faster, but we were still told to
sit in special box cars. Blacks had to
sit in balcony section in the movies but it never bothered me.
There were two societies back then,
Negroes and Whites. I look back and
think of the labels we had from Colored, to Negro, Black and now
African-American. Black and
African-American seems to be interchangeable now. Senior black men were still called boy and
whatever name that seem to fit at the time.
It was common not to be seen on the
same social level.
The Supreme Court ruling in 1896
in Plessy vs. Ferguson
that separate facilities for whites and blacks were constitutional encouraged
the passage of discriminatory laws that wiped out the gains made by blacks
during Reconstruction.
On June 7, 1892, 30-year-old
Homer Plessy was jailed for sitting in the "White" section of the
East Louisiana Railroad. Plessy could easily pass for white but under Louisiana law, he was
considered black despite his light complexion and therefore required to sit in
the "Colored" boxcar. When Louisiana
passed the Separate Car Act, legally segregating common carriers in 1892, a
black civil rights organization decided to challenge the law in the courts.
Plessy deliberately sat in the white section and identified himself as black.
He was arrested and the case went all the way to the United States Supreme
Court. Plessy's lawyer argued that the Separate Car Act violated the Thirteenth
and Fourteenth Amendments. The Plessy
decision set the precedent that "separate" facilities for blacks and
whites were constitutional as long as they were "equal." The
"separate but equal" doctrine was quickly extended to cover many
areas of public life, such as restaurants, theaters, restrooms, and public
schools.
Many blacks are passing for
white. Why not? They don’t want to be treated as their darker
complexion brethren. The master during
slavery discriminated but didn’t see anything wrong with sleeping with the
slave women. Mixing enough can change
the complexion of anyone. The people you
might think are white just might not be who you think. Comments about being Blacks being the racists
are nonsense. They are distractions from
the real racists. When you are
considered a second-class citizen, inferior and lazy that does not make you
racists. It makes you angry because you
never had equal treatment because of your skin color. No one can decide in what race or family you
will be born in, no one.
The fact is that not much has
changed in our society now. Racism is a
learned behavior and it passed down from generation to generation. Somewhere within that generation it will
stop. How can a nation built on
immigrants escaping from the abuse of their country find the time to be
intolerant towards others, especially, when greed abused the Native Americans
that already lived here and took their lands?
Jim Crow was the practice of
discriminating against black people, through a set of laws passed in the
Southern states, after they had earned their freedom from slavery. These laws were enforced with extreme
prejudice. Blacks could not vote until the late 60s. Congress responded to rampant
discrimination against racial minorities in public
accommodations and government services by passing the Civil
Rights Act of 1964. The Act also included some voting rights protections: it
required registrars to equally administer literacy tests in writing to each
voter and to accept applications that contained minor errors, and it stated that
persons with a sixth-grade education were sufficiently literate to
vote. However, despite lobbying from civil rights leaders, the Act did not
prohibit most forms of voting discrimination.
There were so much hatred towards
people of color and it hasn’t changed much now.
I find it extremely perplexing that there have been so many polls on the
Obama Administration and how they seem to cast fear in particular segments of
society. I question comments that he is
“half-black” when I never seem to hear that he is “half-white.” This is the mental block that not many people
will admit. The real fact is they do see
him for his color and their fears are about what this black man will do to America. A small section of society gets the most
news. The media loves these polls
because it makes them money and stirs up hostilities. The truth of the matter is if Congress had
actually set out to work with the President, the polls would give different
numbers. Is it that easy to forget what
the republicans stated that they will do everything in their power to make this
a one-term President? They decided that
they will not work towards bringing America together, but separating it
with partisan politics. Personally, ask
Mitt Romney and Eric Cantor about the polls.
Yet, I hear how much blacks hate
whites just as much as whites hate them.
Do two wrongs make it right?
Instead of speculating why not talk to the other person civilly you
might find that the frustration and disgust they feel about their unfair
treatment. A man might not have power
and authority but if you disrespect or take away his dignity, you don’t know
what to expect from him.
I have learned that hatred can
come from the people you least expect.
Always, keep an open mind and do not be judgmental. I experienced my own when I attended boarding
school in New York. My first night when I pulled my sheets back
for bed, I found a small sheet of paper on my pillow that someone had written,
“N*###h, go home.” I don’t want to dwell
in this area of racial hatred and discrimination too long. We must learn not to stereotype everyone
because of one or two people. There are
good and bad people in all areas in society.
You have to put the bad memories behind you and move forward. Otherwise, it will stunt your spiritual
growth.
“Be careful for what you pray
for, you might get it.” Depending on
what you prayed for, you might get your answer but not the way you expected.
God does have a sense of humor but not man’s sense of humor. He will give you an answer and even though it
was not what we expected, it was even better.
I started seeing my spiritual
growth when my mother passed. The day
before she died, I knew it. There was
something deep inside of me that I felt.
I hugged her for the final time and told her it was okay and how much I
loved her. I also told her that I could
not stay, I’m going home. I’m not
cold-hearted or insensitive but I could not bear seeing here leave. I believed that my mother knew it because
when I returned home, my brother called me and told me that she also went
home. He stayed in the room with
her. My mother meant a lot to me, she
was my anchor and rock.
I learned a lot about treating
people with respect and dignity from her.
It takes some time but it doesn’t hurt to be nice and kind. She told me to always be true to myself. It has gotten me into some serious situations
and took a toll on me. But I learned
from the mistakes I made. Yes, “this too
shall pass.” What was miraculous about
some of these situations I never noticed when my “morning” came. I was focused on the situation than God. But, by the grace of God I was able to move
on.
How often do we take our
blessings for granted? How often do we
feel in control when the pressures of life burden us? We can do one of two things; stay in faith
and confront the situation or we can give up. We concentrate our time on the
problem that we forget who is able to overcome them. During these times, we don’t make the time to
even notice our blessings just the adversities.
Even then, I have taken my blessings for granted. I often thought of myself as being special,
God’s favorite. Yet, we are all children
of God. Somewhere along this journey
being tossed back and forth with life’s stormy waves we forget that we are all
children of God. The fact is, we think
that because of our failings and faults, God could never forgive us.
Jesus had his group whom he
trusted and they were a lot worse than most of us. But, they developed a relationship of love
and trust with Him because they knew He would give them another opportunity to
redeem themselves. Their loyalty
overcame their distrust. They recognized
Jesus’ vision and did their best to carry it out. They knew that they would
face failures and obstacles but they trusted Christ enough that He would see
them through.
It’s hard to convince someone
that there is a light at the end of the tunnel when he can only see darkness. If your life is miserable don’t make mine
miserable, too. Some make it worse by
hurting themselves or others by taking the easy way out. It’s not worth it. The losses are greater than the loss they
face. We are all chosen for a purpose
and some of us accept the challenge. Of
course, we don’t always know what that purpose is. It’s a gut feeling that makes us passionate
about what we do. That’s why some people
do so well in areas that we don’t think we can.
But those that are passionate about what they do are fulfilling a
purpose that they were called to do, meant to do and get it done successfully.
Isn’t it interesting, that some
people know early in life what they want to do?
Some are called to service, helping others. Others might have seen something
traumatic happen in their lives and seek to do something positive about it. It doesn’t matter what you do as long as you
are doing it for the right reason, to bless others. To follow your dream requires a lot of
dedication and commitments that at the first adversity, we give up. We may not get national or local recognition
for the things we do for others. Does it
matter? We are doing something good for the kingdom of God.
My layers are being peeled back
for reasons greater than my understanding.
All that I’ve been through have been for a reason. I believe that you are never too old and that
it’s never too late to do what you were meant to do and be. Our bondage is limited to the way we think
and our attitudes towards adversities.
We were meant to encourage, inspire and motivate each other to improve
lives for all of us. Humility, love,
tolerance, patience and forgiveness, to name a few goals, are something to work
towards. They are not easy to achieve but
we can try. It takes sacrifices to work
hard for something worth having. It is
no doubt that the enemy of man will do everything to distract our focus from
achieving our goals. That’s why we can’t
do it by ourselves. We must submit to a
higher authority, our Creator within us, to help combat the works of the enemy.
I am convinced that we all have been
given unique gifts. It’s up to us to find a way to use them. We must be respectful and patient of others
who may not share the same thoughts as us.
We don’t need people around us who can’t believe in us. We don’t need the negativity. Yes, we are chosen for a divine reason, we
are not the only ones who believe in ourselves.
Our Lord believes in us and gives us the ability to comeback from our
setbacks.
