Veterans’ Day Weekend 9-10, 2023, Was Not About Veterans Here!

    My wife has been a loyal customer of Soma for several years, and not once has she ever been mistreated or denied excellent customer service until the past two days.  Whenever she would go shopping, I would find a seat and wait patiently while she searched for her sizes.  She’s petite, and it takes some time for her to see what she’s looking for.  She also does her research by going online and ordering and finding what is available at her local Soma store.  

 

    She returned an online order for a different size Friday evening at Soma Store 5318 in Trenholm Plaza, Forest Acres, South Carolina.  Her salesperson never greeted her, and she appeared unwilling to help her find her sizes for the exchange.  After interrogating my wife when the purchase was made, the salesperson stopped the process after she was shown the online documents.  This never stopped the salesperson from her rude behavior because she pointed to where the items might be located but never lifted a finger to assist her.  It was at this time my wife decided to leave.  Only two customers with a baby were together, being helped, it seemed, by the store manager or supervisor who wore pajamas.  She was too emotional to finish the shopping.

 

    We returned Saturday morning, and the same salesperson was there, hanging some clothing on a rack by the registers.  She avoided us when she saw us and walked off the sales floor.  My wife went to the area where she was told to look last evening and found her items.  E, another salesperson, greeted us and assisted my wife.  The manager or supervisor was helping another customer while we were there.

 

    My wife did not want me to address this issue. However, my explanation was and still is that ignoring customers and being rude is not beneficial to any organization serving the people regardless of who they are.  If a salesperson is reluctant to help the people contributing to the growth of any business, they are stunting the growth of said business.  What matters is that we felt unwanted by that salesperson who had no intention to assist us and did not want to be bothered by us.  Being rude and inconsiderate is acceptable lately.  People aren’t apologetic or concerned about addressing current social issues.

 

I am not asking that this salesperson be penalized; no one knows what is going through another person’s mind or what she may have encountered before we arrived.  But, repeating the same attitude the next morning does not convince me she was having “a bad day” the day before.  I respectfully request that someone with diplomacy and tact speak with her about improving her customer service and people skills.  My wife will continue to shop with Soma.  She enjoys their products.

 

    Still, I contacted their corporate office, which is somewhere overseas.  I explained the same situation to them.  I also read this store's reviews, which confirmed my suspicions about the store’s staff.  I read the store’s reviews. It seems that the one or 2-star reviews came from People of Color, and it does not appear that anything has been done about the staff’s negative behavior.  I also saw that negative reviewers were to call 866-768-7662 for “opportunities for resolution.”  The opportunities may exist for resolutions, but not followed through.  I felt obligated to inform corporate that good customer service is for all customers regardless of skin color.  The latest one-star review was three weeks ago regarding a similar situation.  After reading several other reviews, it seems to be a trend at this location of how some people are treated, valuable customers or not.  My intuition told me not to write a review but to go directly to the source.  I did and it was a disappointment.

 

    During this weekend’s experience, I realized that the corporate office would never be informed or even hear of any negative experiences from their customers.  They are being shielded by these “contact operators” and not going further than the phone or email.  They will find an excuse, especially when money is involved.  One consultant even went as far as to tell us, “Don’t go back to the store.”  2023, same institutionalized racism, different people.  The years only have changed.

 

Anger, Disgusted and Discouraged!

            Yesterday, I got so angry and discouraged that I didn’t know what to do with myself.  All I could think of was what would help people get their acts together.  I saw Episode One of “Lawman: Bass Reeves” on Paramount.  It was also the last episode that I will look at.  I read that it is a true story about a slave who later in life became a federal deputy Marshall who survived the rigors and racism in the Wild West post-Civil War.  The story is well-written, and the actors are well-respected and convincing.  In fact, the story and scenes were convincing enough to have taken me back in time and emotions.  I started questioning how hatred could be so acceptable by the so-called Christian folk to cause them to abuse, mistreat, and kill another group of people who didn’t have the same color as them.  I got disgusted and angry, so I had to research who Bass Reeves was and why this was the first time I ever heard of this black lawman.

 

              The deeper I dove in, the more I realized that this slave who became a top lawman was intentionally kept in the history books.  Black people were not meant to have heroes.  It also seemed to me that black folks are not meant to arrest or shoot white folks, either, which Mr. Reeves could do both and be supported by the federal courts, not always by the people in the courts.  I’m a Lone Ranger fan, and I never heard of this man, but from my research, it could have been reasonable that Gaylord Dubois used Bass Reeves as the template for the Lone Ranger.  The Lone Ranger had Tonto, the son of an actual Mohawk Chief, who rode with him side-by-side.  They were able to enter Indian territories and make arrests of the white men seeking to hide and Indians who broke the law.  Bass Reeves lived with Indians and spoke several of their languages.  They accepted him, even deputizing some of them to become lawmen.  Like Bass Reeves, the Lone Ranger wore disguises, fooling so many outlaws that some even accepted him in their camps.  We know that the Lone Ranger was fictional, but we know now that Bass Reeves was real.

 

                What tripped my emotions yesterday convinced me that people are willing to hide the historical values of what others did to build this country by devaluing their contributions and rewriting history to protect their weaknesses.  We see it daily in folks fighting against the freedoms the ancestors and founders of this great land died for.  Certain books cannot be read, racism does not exist, and people who are “woke” are wrong, but liars and deceivers are accepted and followed. Why rewrite history when it's easier to ignore it?  Nearest Green, a former slave and master distiller, was finally recognized as passing the process of making whiskey to the maker of Jack Daniels. Not many people, drinkers and non-drinkers, are aware of this.  It had to take Fawn Weaver, the Black CEO of the Uncle Nearest Brand, to bring this hidden gem to light.  History is truth, whether we like it or not.  Not being taught and not being educated about the very tenets this country was built on is hiding the truth of liberty.

                Many of these people who are against the freedoms of others are descendants of immigrants who left their countries for the very freedoms they were denied there.  I refuse to believe that this great nation has become a nation of hypocrites and fake Christians.  I think the majority is silent and has become numb and quiet to the shame they are witnessing.   But I also believe that God is still in control and that we all should reconcile with him before we reconcile with each other.  I cannot change the heart of my brother, no matter how much I want him to see things my way and vice-versa.  Only God can do that, so we should run to Him.  Then I could see you and me working together towards unity.  

 

                Honorable mention to Bishop T. D. Jakes, whose sermon was meant for me during my anger, disgust, and discouragement episode.

An Open Letter to my Brother’s Son-In-Law!

            I know you’re surprised to hear from me.  Today is our mother’s birthday and it is always special to me.  She would have been 93 today.  I can feel myself being in a joyful and sorrowful mood at the same time.  It could also be the cause of this letter.  I remember how she raised my brother and me with the help of her mother when my father decided to pursue a life of his own.  Do I hold him responsible for my own life?  Maybe.  Even though I hold myself accountable for my own actions, I truly believe if he was still involved with us, I would have made a decision to make the military my career and wouldn’t have resigned my commission.  If you’re thinking that I could have made that decision on my own you’re right.  But I wanted to hear from him, he was supposed to be an authority in our home, and because I followed in his footsteps by joining the Navy.

 

            It’s hard to raise a family as a single parent without issues, I can only imagine if there are difficulties that are constantly in the way day in and day out.  What a burden it is.  Children did not ask to be born but are here and alive.   Some are products of love and some, are mistakes.  They still need to know that there are people that they can count on.   Especially, when they need advice and support.  Otherwise, failure, depression, and anxiety could cause them undue pressure later in life.  Perhaps, I’m feeling melancholy because of today, but suppressing emotions can be a time bomb.

 

            Whatever we may feel about our spouses, there is never a need to abuse them in any method.  I have had so many failures in my life when there were times when giving up was the best escape.  I failed at some careers, relationships, and goals and received so many denials that it was easier to call it quits with life.  Who should I have blamed?  Nobody.  We man up and hold ourselves accountable. Only some things will go our way.  We fall down but by the grace of God, we get back up.  That was a decision that I made that day, to get back up.  Why be another statistic when I can prove to myself, not to anyone else, that I will survive, not on my own, but with God, I can be better today than yesterday.

 

            Starting alone all over again is expensive after investing so much together in a family.  My father after so many years of our lives in his later years actually expected my mother to take him back in.  It was no surprise that she didn’t.  The children were now adults with their own families.  He found a place in the neighborhood near my uncle and transitioned in a few years.  He transitioned alone.

 

            I wondered what my brother would have said to you and what his reaction would be.  He had a temper in his younger days. He would have mellowed out.  You have your life to live but pray for a peaceful one where the conscious won’t remind you every day that was it truly worth it.  When one out of two marries for love and the other for lust, there is never a bond in the first place.  I do have a humble request.   Help your estranged family out, maintain contact, stay in the child’s life and if not wanted, be near, protect, and show love.  You had a part in creating your child and cannot renounce a proof of beauty.

 

No longer a child, I can look back and remember how blessed we were to have a mother we had who loved us and made sacrifices for us.  As a parent, I would like to be remembered the same way.  I want you to know that if my brother loved you, I wish the best for you, and have no animosity towards you.  Live the life you were meant to live and have no regrets or remorse for the decisions you make.  Don’t look for any excuses, live with the choices you make.  I wish you well.  May God bless you and keep you.

The More We Have, The More We Want!

            What makes matters worse is that we aren’t satisfied with what we already have and we want more!  We want it because we can, and the next question is how much we will use it and its effect on us.  When will we realize how much we are blessed to be able to get it?  Some things may be beyond our reach, but we will try anyway.  Persistence, sacrifice, selfishness, greed, stubbornness whatever might drive us, we won’t rest until we get it.  Even after accomplishing our objectives, I’m not sure that it satisfies.  Speaking for myself, I get a little disappointed.

 

 If I use faith, would I ignore my thoughts to believe that God provides, or is it faith in our own ability to obtain our desires?  We can be hypocrites and not know it or maybe we do know and won’t admit it.  The truth is even though we think we own something, it’s temporary we can’t take it with us.  We pile up things that one day someone else will use. Whether it’s of sentimental or monetary value, it won’t matter.  Someone will enjoy the fruits of our labor.  Yes, there might be a legacy but over time that will change, too.

 

Some of us believe in a higher power and it doesn’t matter what you name it.  We know that there is something greater than we are and all-powerful.  We know by our ailments and issues that some things are beyond our control and we are here on this earth forever.  Even the centenarians we know are ready to leave this place.  Who are we to fulfill our desires and wants?  We hardly know what we need.  Our wants can dominate our needs therefore causing us to ignore what we really need.  From my standpoint we need Jesus.

 

We live in a society where the more we have is an expression of who we are.  It creates a façade questioning what status level we’re on, leaving those who don’t know us to think we achieved our dreams.  Whereas, if don’t pay as we go, we become so deep in debt that we aren’t happy and find comfort in buying things that we hardly use to continue being who we are not.  To me, that’s why some people are so miserable who we thought “made it.”  Everyone likes nice things but have the wisdom to know what it takes to get it.  Wise folks will make the sacrifices and get it done so that they can rest peacefully.  They not taking from one area in their cache to pay in another area.  They have found balance in their lives.  I believe we can all do that.  

 

St. Paul said “I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:11-13 NIV

Millennium Park Water Fountains!!

 

Breakfast and Lunch From Chicago Restaurants!

Corn Beef and Hash with Eggs

Won Ton Soup with Nori

Roasted Duck Breast

 

Camelot at the Intercontinental Hotel on Magnificent Mile in Chicago!

 

Fountain

Knight 1

Lady Guinevere

King Arthur

Brighter Days Will Come!

On days of sorrow,

one spirit sees a bright, sunny sky.

While another touches

a dark and lonely one.

 

One person rejoices that the inevitable is over,

no more suffering and pain.

Yet, another is wondering 

what is there to gain?

 

Joy will come one unexpected morning,

after moments of sorrow.

Long after the loss is gone,

there is still hope for today.

 

When you put people in their place,

remember yours.

Rest In Peace Anthony! You Are Loved!

Mr. Anthony Ray Litman departed this life on Wednesday, September 6, 2023, at National Health Care of Anderson, SC.  Anthony Litman was born December 3, 1954, to the late Robert Litman and Willie Lee Crosby Litman.

 

He was a graduate of T.L. Hanna High School.  He worked in the textile industry.

 

He leaves to cherish his sisters, Teresa A. Hunt of Anderson, SC, Patricia M. Litman of Anderson, SC, Audrey Mattress (Jimmy) of Anderson, SC; brothers, Robert L. Litman, Jr. (Crystal) of Anderson, SC, Patrick B. Litman of Anderson, SC, Dewayne Litman of Anderson, SC, and Gregory R. Litman of Anderson, SC; nieces, nephews, and a host of other relatives.

 

In addition to his parents, he was preceded in death by his brother, Jonathan Litman; aunts, Josephine McCullough and Mamie Gaines, Savannah White; uncles, Theodore Crosby, Kale Crosby, Frank Crosby, Elijah Litman, Dennis Litman, and James “Gent” Litman; grandparents, Hattie Crosby, Kale Crosby, Janie Rose Litman, and Elijah Litman.

 

Acknowledgments from the Family: Words cannot express the depth of our love and appreciation for the many acts of kindness shown during the illness and passing of our dear loved one.  Your prayers, food, visits, calls, cards, and kind words gave us great comfort and support.  May God’s blessings be yours forever.  Please continue to pray for our strength.

 

Family, friends, and others whose lives were touched by Anthony Ray Litman during his life’s journey are invited to celebrate his life on Sunday, September 10, 2023, at 2:00 pm at Royal Baptist Church, Anderson, SC with the interment to follow at Westview Cemetery, Anderson, SC.

 

Public viewing will be on Saturday, September 9, 2023, from 1:00 p.m. until 6:00 p.m. at The Unity Mortuary of Anderson.

 

The family is at 508 South Jefferson Avenue, Anderson, SC 29621.

 

Don't Let the Neanderthals Get To You!

            I had a very pleasant Labor Day Weekend.  People everywhere I went were kind and cordial, which was surprising.  I didn’t go to many places, but when I went to the grocery stores, I was greeted, and even in department stores, I was acknowledged.  I entered a battery store for my watch and was greeted and helped.  I thought of the song “Today Was a Good Day” by Ice Cube.  Even the streetlights were in my favor.  Heavenly Ham made my ham sandwich precisely the way I wanted.  I have to say that most of the people that I crossed paths with were considerate.

            

            All was well until I took my wife to Cracker Barrel for lunch.  Most humans hold the door for each other when they see another party following them into an establishment.  Out of respect for the woman, we usually hold the door until we see the man, if he is with her, reach for the door.  After all, we hold the door for our women, why not be considerate to others?  In this case, “Dorq,” the Neanderthal (I didn’t want to give him any name), waited until my wife got to the door to walk away.  My intuition told me that “Dorq” was not a human and moved quickly enough to catch the door in time before it closed in her face.  Either he wasn't aware that she was behind him or didn't care, I was prepared for a resolution.  Instead, my wife told me to let it go in such a way that I was not going to ruin her afternoon.  However, I watched closely where we were going to be seated because I did not want to be near “Dorq.”

 

            After a pleasant lunch, since it was a beautiful day, we went to the Riverfront to walk off the wonderful meal and my ire.  I felt 100% better after our 4-mile walk.  Yes, I still had a good day.  People will be who they are.  Don't let one "Dorq" ruin a good day.

Train Riding in the Georgia Mountains on the Blue Ridge Scenic Rail Road!

 

After Storms Comes Fresh Air And Clear Days!

I am not surprised by the lack of empathy many Christians show towards foreign and domestic issues. We have become desensitized to crises and accept them as inevitable.  It often seems we will do nothing, and those with money and power use their influence to deceive the public.

 

People will always have concerns and issues.  We worry about family, new neighbors, jobs, politicians, traffic, and health, to name a few anxious moments.  Some of us worry about the radical right not addressing the violent threats made by the MAGA followers towards government officials involved with the Trump indictments.  I remember how concerned the radical right was about the liberal left Antifas and the Black Lives Matter Movement.  Are the Republicans afraid of the Nazi-like monsters they created by following Trump?  Or, more afraid of not being reelected?  The Klan was formed after Reconstruction to promote fear, hate, division, and superiority.  After the Civil War, the founder, Nathan Bedford Forrest, couldn’t disband the Klan; they had become too powerful, and the group was uncontrollable.  Hate can be overpowering in its darkness.  Trump tapped into that hatred, kept the Civil War regrets heated, and Republicans ran on his coattails to get elected.  Europeans left indentured servitude to come to America for freedom.  Ironically, their descendants put other people in chains and took away freedom that didn’t look like them.

 

I've heard that Trump is complaining about double standards, but he didn't consider this when pushing the "Lock Her Up" slogan about Hillary Clinton.  As President, he appointed Republican judges to the courts with support from Congress, using the Evangelicals as a shield.  Trump aspires to be like a dictator and clearly thinks he's above the law, yet he claims to be a victim.  He's an adult used to getting his way and well-versed in lying.  If you repeat a lie enough times, people will eventually believe it.

 

America has a growing peace movement as people unite against extremism.  Women are tired of old white men telling them what to do with their bodies, and the young are tired of seeing the same old men in positions of authority not listening to them.  People who have been ignored for too long are now standing up to be recognized.  Students want to know America's history, even if it is disgusting, humiliating, and embarrassing.  Policies should not be beneficial only for those who make the laws; they should be beneficial for all, and partisan beliefs should be kept out.

Malachi 3:5-7 Bible New International Version

 

5.  So I will come to put you on trial.  I will be quick to testify against sorcerers, adulterers, and perjurers, against those who defraud laborers of their wages, who oppress the widows and the fatherless, and deprive the foreigners among you of justice, but do not fear me,” says the Lord Almighty.

 

6.  “I, the Lord, do not change.  So you, the descendants of Jacob, are not destroyed.  7.  Ever since the time of your ancestors, you have turned away from my decrees and have not kept them.  Return to me, and I will return to you,” says the Lord Almighty.

What A Beautiful Morning in St. Helena's, SC!

6:30 AM Huntington Beach, South Carolina

 

Grandparents Appreciation Moment!

            People show appreciation to your grandmothers, grandfathers, great-grandmothers, great grandfathers.  They are the unappreciated, silent heroes and heroines that are taken for granted for simply being who they are.  We salute you and thank you!  Those still living kings and queens, thank you for helping keep our villages together.  It doesn’t matter the color, culture, or creed.  They stepped in and cared for the children when no one else would, closed the loops on what wasn’t taught, and passed on to the children their wisdom and experience.

 

            Grandparents, as a whole, saw the world much differently than we did.  Of course, times were different.  Technology and the environment were different, but the outcome of the various cultures and the treatment of people is still about the same: wisdom.  Our grandparents saw the world through clear glasses, learned from their experiences, and still thrived in the midst of it all.  Now that they are much older, they share those experiences with their grandchildren.  Grandfathers worked their hearts out to build a decent life for their families back then, and many died without reaping the benefits.  Women have always been the family's heart, but they can’t do it alone.  It takes a family to stand together.

 

            It’s no secret that several caring grandparents opened their once-empty homes to their returning children.  I can relate to looking forward to the children leaving home once they’re grown.  There’s a surreal stillness and silence once they’re gone; one can say that they miss the noise and action.  When the grands started visiting and getting into mischief, they reminded us of their fathers or mothers who grew up in the home.  Single grandparents who are alone welcome back the sound and busyness, mainly because the other spouse isn’t there to share laughter together anymore.

 

            I don’t need to stray too far; the fact is, grandparents leave positive, lasting impressions on their grandchildren more than they realize.  Most of the time, they only see it in their children.  Children and grandchildren should feel blessed that they have them in their lives.  Appreciate your grandparents more, people.  They may not always get it right, but they are all you got.  They can be great baby-sitters, too, if you treat them right.

Blessed Be The Widows And Vulnerable!

I visited my 101-year-old godmother the other day.  When I saw her, I had to hold back my tears.  She had called me a few days ago that she had fallen asleep in the table chair and fell onto the floor.  She didn’t call for help and felt all right as long as she could move her legs.  She did call her one of her granddaughters, who came over immediately.  She wanted to take the petit, fragile centenarian to the hospital, who said she didn’t need to go.  My godmother is an old-school woman who worked hard all of her life and dealt with all types of challenges during her lifetime.  She could handle it.  She enjoyed being on her own.  Sometimes, we could use some help, and none of us are young anymore.  

 

She had fallen on her face with her glasses on.  There were big, dark bruises all over her small face.  One prominent bruise was on her forehead, another on the right side of her face, and you could see the imprint from the bridge of her glasses over her nose.  I could only imagine her facial appearance a day later.  Yet, my godmother was in great spirits even though the rest of us were deeply concerned.  I got emotional when she said, “First, we start falling, and then we die.”  I never cared for hearing that statement and others from the elderly.  I knew that they were serious when they said things like that.

 

What was determined by all medical experts was that my godmother had blacked out from bending down too low to clean coffee and other stains from the floor using a little amount of bleach.  She got up too fast.  I’m picturing a 101-year-old cleaning the carpet and inhaling a powerful irritant, using much energy, then immediately sitting down from being tired.  Thinking that she had fallen asleep because she was tired, she passed out from the blood flow as her head was lower than her heart and rising too quickly.  The same thing had happened to me months ago, except I “woke” up in a wheelchair at a hospital and underwent wires, IVs, and blood tests.  I ended up wearing a heart monitor for two weeks.  My diagnosis was severe dehydration.  That’s another story.

 

My godmother is very independent.  She'll do it herself if someone doesn’t notice what needs to be done around her.  Well, she’ll try to.  We could do those things when we were younger.  The granddaughters and her son offered her to stay with one of them, which she declined.  She likes to come and go whenever she wants to and enjoys doing things for herself.  Like most seniors, including myself, we don’t want to be a burden.  As long as we can do for ourselves, let us be; we’ll let you know when we need help.  As we age, we realize the end time is coming; it’s inevitable.  Living in our circumstances has taught us how to adapt, positively or negatively.  We learned from our parents and those before us that good times and challenging times exist.  What we do with those times is up to us to learn from them.  My mother, grandmother, and godmother exhibited what it takes to survive.  They all told me they wouldn’t be around forever, and neither will I.  We are in this world for a short time.

 

I’ve always tried to push people away because I didn’t want to miss them or be missed.  It was an error in my judgment.  Some people care and don’t have any other motive but to share that love with you.  No matter how old we get, we will have broken hearts and regrets, but it’s never too late to accept love.  I guess, eventually, we have to let the barriers down and give love a try.  Make peace with those you care about; time waits for no one.

Do Your Best To Be Prepared!

We can only partially prepare ourselves for specific situations, even knowing their inevitability. We have all encountered such circumstances, such as when a beloved family member must move from the hospital to hospice care, when a dear friend or family member is diagnosed with a terminal illness, or even when we visit specialists like urologists, proctologists, or dentists. Although there are certainly more unpleasant professions than dentistry, the sound of the buzzing instruments, the smell of burning flesh, and the sensation of scraping and pulling can be mentally taxing for the patient.  It matters considerably when you have to return for a follow-up and or fitting.  Don’t wait until we’re too old to regret what we placed on our bodies and souls.  Such is the life of not caring for one’s health and teeth.  Live wisely, my brothers and sisters.

I Am A Rock!

I had a unique dream the other night, most of them I can’t remember, but I remembered this one.  My dreams aren’t usually nightmares unless I had eaten beef that afternoon.  However, this dream made me feel that the universe was trying to tell me something.  A large rock was the main focus.  It was rounded around the edges but very smooth.  The rock appeared to weigh about 40-50 pounds and was translucent.  It never got in my way wherever I went, but it was always there no matter where I went.  The rock was always where I could see it; it stood out but seemed acceptable wherever it was.  It seemed to move on its own accord.  Whenever I came across the rock, I felt confident, safe, and protected.

 

When I woke up, I felt refreshed but was curious about this dream.  The rock didn’t play any significant part; it seemed to let me know that it will always be where I am.  I don’t remember any critical events, or anything else about the dream, other than the rock being everywhere I went.  I have some spiritual thoughts about Jesus being a cornerstone, Peter being appointed the rock that Jesus will build His church on, and men making their houses on solid rock, but finding a connection is still complicated.  I know that Jesus is my rock and refuge and that He will always be with me, but dreaming about a rock.  What does it mean?  I’m sure something meaningful is behind it, even if I may never understand.

Woke Is Not A Joke!

Believe it or not, the words “Stay Woke” were used by blues singer Huddie “Lead Belly” Ledbetter back in 1938 in a recording of the “Scottsboro Boys.”  It told the story of nine young black men, ages 12-19, falsely accused of raping two white women on a train in Alabama in 1931.  The men were not executed but were jailed for years.  Even after their release, they never fully recovered from the mistreatment.  The evidence unquestionably proved their innocence, but it didn’t matter.  Collectively, they spent over 130 years in jail.  The appeal trials lasted over 80 years when the women finally recanted their previous stories that they were never raped, and the story was made up from being arrested for vagrancy.  No forensics or other evidence were considered other than the white women’s words over the black men.  What did you expect in the 30s? It doesn’t look too different from now.  Politicians and the justice system are still lying about the truth.  Now Governor Ron DeSantis Campaign Slogan for President is “Our Great American Comeback Never Back Down.”  It sounds like a takeoff from Trump’s MAGA; bring back the old way of mistreating people, and we can rule in tyranny again.

 

            As you can see, “Stay Woke” or “Woke is nothing new; it’s an awareness of being attentive to the critical fact and issues regarding racial and social injustices.  It’s for people to stay awake during these times when they are trying to cover up past misdeeds and claiming that those things didn’t happen or were done by others that should be forgotten. We don’t want anything to let our kids know the truth, for they might be blamed for their parent's sins and woke returned during the Black Lives Matter movement, which brought attention to the killing of young black men by the police and fake vigilantes under the disguise of being patriots.  It seems all the red states are finding ways to use the law to suppress voting registration, redistricting, and excluding people of color from participating in government and education.  It seems that rewriting history and banning any account from days gone by should be stricken or not even taught in schools.

 

            The Supreme Court verified that systemic racism exists by ending Affirmative Action.  What I found about this disastrous move was that Judge Thomas, a recipient of Affirmative Action, decided because of his toll and guilt.  He has obtained his dream and let the others find their way in education.  Justice is not and cannot be colorblind.  To me, this system was built to protect its own, and those who are privileged will do anything possible to protect it.  Laws are wrapped within hidden laws that enable the users.  Yet, their truth is also their falsehood, so they campaign to reject anyone who can it.  We’re not the only ones who see it; God also sees it.  Vengeance is His, and those of us that believe in Him have the faith to know that the wicked will be exposed.  When we put our trust in man, we will be very disappointed.  Even amid this chaos, there is an opportunity.  Let’s all be calm in the middle of another storm and watch the Lord fight our battles.

 

            There will be a time when there are no more excuses, and we will have to face the fact that we are all liars.  The time will be unexpected when we feel all is well.  In our unrepentant life, we will feel a burden that the living cannot lift.  The guilt we denied to ourselves has accumulated over the years, lusting for money, power, and authority regardless of the costs we paid.  It will be too late for any regrets because it will follow us to the grave.  How will we want to be remembered?  It will depend on who is writing the history.  Will the story be objective or biased?  We can only hope that it is truthful.

Not By Proxy, Go To The Source!

            Sometimes, conflicts can arise within families, even on days when everything seems to be going well. For instance, a sibling may share unsubstantiated rumors that can quickly ruin your good mood, leaving you feeling frustrated and curious about the source of the information. This situation can put you on edge, making you cautious about showing too much joy around others. Unfortunately, there are always those who seek to cause trouble and distract people from enjoying their day. Currently, dividing families seems to be a top priority for these troublemakers.  Nevertheless, we should pray to have the discernment and wisdom to know that a house that is divided, will fall.  Life is too short and we tend to wait until things cool off and go away but life doesn’t always go our way.  Many times, it’s too late and we didn’t get the chance to apologize.

 

Strife can arise from unexpected sources, including family, friends, and co-workers. Even minor issues can quickly escalate, causing emotional turmoil. It's especially difficult when those closest to us misunderstand or jump to conclusions without seeking clarification from the source of the confusion. Some of us struggle with admitting fault or appearing vulnerable, which only allows negative emotions to fester and can lead to lifelong grudges. However, it's important to consider whether a simple conversation could resolve the misunderstanding before it's too late. Let's not allow pride and stubbornness to stand in the way of reconciliation. It's possible that the confusion stemmed from hearsay and could be easily cleared up with open communication.

 

I prefer to ask questions rather than make assumptions. I believe in keeping things simple. If I have done all that I can and the other party is unwilling to compromise, I move on without feeling like I wasted any energy. It only becomes a waste of energy if I keep trying to convince someone who is unwavering in their beliefs. I personally ask the questions myself instead of sending someone else to do it for me. I believe a third party could potentially miss important details that could help clear up any misunderstandings. That's why I ask questions when necessary.

 

It's common for family disagreements to spread to other households and even the larger community, causing division and seeking allies. However, it's important to stay calm and find a peaceful resolution to avoid a bad situation. Though it's easier said than done, it's important to learn from experience and realize that negative emotions can drain our energy and shorten our time. We all have value and meaning, and it's difficult to make clear decisions when we're in a heightened state. We are stronger united, not divided.

Love is!

Love is a versatile word that can function as an adjective, adverb, verb, or noun. It embodies various forms of emotions and intangible qualities such as empathy, faithful, honesty, kindness, trust, and compassion. Love is hard to define and express in words, as it can mean different things to different people. It is a forgiving, patient, merciful, graceful, accepting, joyful, and peaceful feeling that fills the heart of those who experience it. Those who have experienced it can testify to its transformative power, while those who haven't may not fully understand it. Love is God, who is the source of all love. In times of difficulty, God can help us overcome our challenges and lead us to a more fulfilling life. However, it is important to note that love starts from within ourselves, and we must love ourselves before we can love others.  If anything, my situation was due to a lack of love.  I didn’t love myself; I didn’t fool myself into thinking I could see it in anyone.  What would I expect to find?  

 

In my childhood, my family was affectionate and caring, and we were not shy about expressing our love for one another. However, after our parents' divorce, my siblings and I lost faith in love. We began to view love and life as fleeting and temporary, and we became wary of giving ourselves to others. We witnessed our mother's struggles, and despite her forgiving nature, she could not shield us from the harsh realities of the world. She always reminded us of her love and desire for our well-being but also cautioned us against disobedience. As young black men, we knew that the world could be unforgiving, and that little had changed even though we were growing up in the 50s and 60s.

 

Love was a unicorn to me, a mythical creature that someone might see once in a lifetime, but not everyone will see it.  I even had a woman who told me that she never grew up with love in her home, and that’s her reason for not being loving.  I wasn’t searching for it, it showed up one day in the form of a petite, spiritual woman who wanted me to pass kindness forward.  I was leaving my 91-year-old godmother’s apartment at the time and this small, slender, young woman was holding the elevator for me.  I said thanks, but I’ll take the stairs.  I didn’t want to be accused of anything since there wasn’t anyone else but us.  She said okay but the elevator was fast and she was downstairs by the door, which she was holding.  I mentioned that she was very kind, holding the elevator, and now the door.  She said that I should do kind acts for others, and pay it forward.  After 10 years of being married to that sweet, young thing, I truly feel what love is about.  Yes, she’s still spiritual and I have become the same.  My perspective of love has deepened because of it.  I see God in her and she sees God in everyone.  I’m a complicated person, I don’t want many friends and I’m comfortable being alone.  But since she has been in my life, it’s hard for me not to have her around me at all times.  She has been my counselor, caregiver, confidante, accountant, and lifesaver.  She was undoubtedly a divine gift.  I’m not boasting, I’m grateful.  I’ve been used and played.  But, every now and then, we get blessed more than we can imagine.

In God We Trusted!

 

On all American currency, from coins to paper money, you will find the phrase "In God We Trust." This idea was first proposed during the Civil War when even political enemies agreed that God was important to the country. In 1955, President Dwight Eisenhower endorsed a law passed by the 84th Congress to have the phrase on all American cash. The following year, Congress passed another law, with Eisenhower's signature, declaring "In God We Trust" to be America's motto. I recently learned that April 22nd is recognized as "In God We Trust Day," although it is not a national holiday and is not widely publicized.  It may be considered alongside other religious holidays that have become more commercialized than revered, such as National Prayer Day, Easter, Christmas, and the like.  We might have trusted in God, but at some point, we stopped.  At one time, we may have had faith in God, but we eventually lost it.

 

I've noticed that there is low attendance in churches, and pastors seem to be more focused on building grand structures for their legacies. Many are afraid to speak out against injustices and share Jesus' teachings. Are the churches complicit in silence to these injustices that surround them?  Do they actually want to see the dividers doing and saying what they always wanted to do?  Is this the way the churches expose their bigotry hiding behind those that are?  Despite being the shepherds of the church, they avoid getting their hands dirty and fear losing members or financial support. It seems like they prioritize pleasing their congregation over obeying God. Sadly, some Evangelists and hidden Christians choose to follow extremist beliefs and exclude certain individuals instead of welcoming everyone into their churches.  I suppose another name for these “Fake Christians” is Hypocrites.  They love doctrine but not people.  We’re not asking for role models.  We all are works in progress.  Let’s be adults to address the elephant in the room.  There are several fears and doubts that are troubling, fear of reprisals is near the top of the list, and somewhere in there, being discovered that they are wearing masks and not at all who they appear to be.

 

There is a division in some churches regarding the inclusion of women as pastors.  However, it is important to acknowledge women's valuable contributions to a growing church, supporting prophets and apostles throughout history.  If women are considered sinners, then so are men.  We are all flawed.  Despite progress in some areas, women still face barriers to holding leadership positions in the workplace, home, and church.  If we only rely on men to do the Lord's work, we risk repeating the decline of our nation.

 

Do we still hold onto our faith in God outside of the church? I believe we can but life has taught us some hard lessons.  Money seems to be the driving force behind everything, as it provides satisfaction and cures all evils.  However, it can also turn a person cold-hearted, unforgiving, and cynical.  We allow our emotions to manipulate how we worship.  Despite being human, we still trust inanimate objects; idols.  When will we realize our mistakes and trust God?  Have we gotten too comfortable in our devious, hateful ways? John the Baptist preached about repentance, but that might sound too weak for some people.  We find any kind of excuse for our actions and loyalties.  Life is tough, but we must have faith in God's plan for us.  The sooner we align our will with Him, the sooner we will see His plan fulfilled.  Loving our neighbor is very hard to do when we don’t love ourselves.

Tolerance, Tolerate or Both? Is There A Balance?

Merriam-Webster explains that there is a distinction between the two words.  "Tolerate" is a verb that indicates an action, meaning either to allow without hindrance or to put up with.  "Tolerance" is a noun referring to the ability to endure hardship or pain, as well as the act of allowing something or showing sympathy for beliefs or practices that differ from one's own.

 

I have noticed that some people express a low tolerance for foolishness and incompetence, and I can relate to that sentiment. However, I have come to realize that others may feel the same way about me. We all make mistakes and have to learn from others. When someone struggles to complete a simple task, I can sometimes become impatient. However, I realize they may be dealing with challenges that I am unaware of or don't understand. I may even be the one preventing them from learning. 

 

I understand that I can come across as harsh or arrogant. I may use unnecessary language and my approach may be intimidating. I acknowledge that I may have a biased mindset and that others may be tolerating my behavior. To improve, I try to put myself in their shoes and treat them with dignity and respect. After all, I would want others to treat me the same way, regardless of our differences in color, beliefs, lifestyles, and social standings.  The question remains if we are all imperfect, why are we still intolerant in the 21^st century?  Is this truly a question for some or a problem for others?

 

As we live together, we choose to tolerate certain things in the name of peace and compromise. For example, I tolerate my wife's cooking and she tolerates my snoring. We also tolerate our children's music and our neighbor's barking dogs, but there may come a point where we can no longer handle the discomfort. In those situations, we may have to reconsider the investments we've made over the years. Sometimes it's easy to forget the value of forgiveness and mercy, especially when we've faced judgment from others and felt like second-class citizens.  How can we overcome our selfish tendencies and embrace acceptance, even if it requires enduring economic difficulties?

Struggles and Conflicts!

Everyone faces struggles, whether they are internal or external, big or small, pleasant or unpleasant. Conflicts can arise anywhere, from the classroom to the workplace, from hospitals to families, and beyond. They usually begin in uncomfortable situations when someone disagrees with you in some way. I have seen conflicts arise due to differences in appearance, competition, intelligence, skin color, religion, and politics. Most conflicts arise due to a lack of honesty, humility, and direct communication. These are the foundations for understanding and finding peace. Some people prefer to talk to others about their problems rather than addressing them directly. However, this approach can cause more harm than good, leading to disruption, distraction, and stress for everyone involved.

 

Struggles and conflicts affect everyone, from the powerful to the poor, except for the dead. If left unresolved, they can cause mental, social, physical, and spiritual harm. Conflicts can destroy a person's well-being and happiness, leading to regrettable actions and outcomes. It is important to avoid pride and control our emotions in order to maintain balance and avoid negative consequences. The tongue has the power of life and death, and we should use it wisely. 

 

When we face challenges, we may turn to God for help. Sometimes, it may seem like our prayers go unanswered, but we should not interpret this as punishment. God is loving and wants to help us, even in difficult situations. It is up to us to take responsibility for our actions and seek guidance and support from God. Life is full of ups and downs, and it is up to each person to handle them with mercy and grace.

What Have I Been Doing?

    Over the years since losing my loved ones, family and friends, and being diagnosed with PTSD, I’ve been hesitant to submit entries to this blog. I did not seem to have the energy to type anything other than Happy Birthdays and Rest in Peace Titles. The subjects portrayed emptiness, depression, and some anxieties I felt within myself.  For me, the future during this time was depressing, the same as the news. Giving my opinion in the early days, released some stress and I felt better afterward. I wasn’t concerned if anybody ever read it, or if anyone cared. I was relieved to get the negativity out of me. Still, I have been lazy and complacent, I lost myself in my emotions. This is my excuse, for now.  Excuses, do not hold up for long, they will be exposed later. I’d rather expose mine now.

 

    In this age of social media and technology, I felt my age and that the world was changing before my eyes. Facebook, Snapchat, YouTube, and the like surrounded me with content and the risk-takers who were jeopardizing their lives and others to get subscriptions and likes. I was never a fan of therapists who on old TV shows picked their subject’s minds making them feel less than.  I stereotyped all “shrinks” as manipulators until I started attending sessions. Now I look forward to the sessions.  I’m with a great group of veterans who suffered and gone through similar situations and who understood and respectfully agreed to disagree on many topics we shared and we all knew that what was said and heard would be kept confidential. I must give a shout-out to the therapists who assists us, they were always there for us and never gave up on us.  The few we have with us are overwhelmed by the increasing numbers but we have never heard them complain about carrying the extra burdens.  Where are our elected officials who say they care for the veterans during an election year but never do anything to help us?  We have to beg and plead for compensation, benefits, and housing and still get turned down, but they will support the Department of Defense for more killing materials.  I wonder if they really cheer for the home team in private.

 

    I must regain the same excitement that started me on this journey.  I wanted to record my thoughts then and I still want to continue.  It doesn’t matter if journaling is a gift or talent, I pray that this will be a platform to relay positive and honest messages.  I hope to use this platform to share experiences and opinions with the reader.  I’ll leave the past behind and move forward. I will leave these old experiences at the altar. I look forward to this redemption.

Congress! Stop Playing Chess With Americans' Livelihoods! Work Together and Get Things Done!

Today is Mother Appreciation Day!

Happy Appreciation to all mothers, biological, foster, new, past and old! You should be appreciated every day.  Thank you for the love and support you have given us through out our lives. You have sacrificed so much for us that we may never know. God bless you all!

Happy Birthday, Mother Irby.

October 3, 2020 was your transition home, Mother Irby but your birthday, today on the 24th of March, 2023 would have made you 89 years old! We miss you and love you so much!

Miss You, Mom!

 Another year and I'm still missing you, mom. You returned home in on March 24, 2018 and it's 5 years later. You'd be 82 now. Love you forever.