Love is!

Love is a versatile word that can function as an adjective, adverb, verb, or noun. It embodies various forms of emotions and intangible qualities such as empathy, faithful, honesty, kindness, trust, and compassion. Love is hard to define and express in words, as it can mean different things to different people. It is a forgiving, patient, merciful, graceful, accepting, joyful, and peaceful feeling that fills the heart of those who experience it. Those who have experienced it can testify to its transformative power, while those who haven't may not fully understand it. Love is God, who is the source of all love. In times of difficulty, God can help us overcome our challenges and lead us to a more fulfilling life. However, it is important to note that love starts from within ourselves, and we must love ourselves before we can love others.  If anything, my situation was due to a lack of love.  I didn’t love myself; I didn’t fool myself into thinking I could see it in anyone.  What would I expect to find?  

 

In my childhood, my family was affectionate and caring, and we were not shy about expressing our love for one another. However, after our parents' divorce, my siblings and I lost faith in love. We began to view love and life as fleeting and temporary, and we became wary of giving ourselves to others. We witnessed our mother's struggles, and despite her forgiving nature, she could not shield us from the harsh realities of the world. She always reminded us of her love and desire for our well-being but also cautioned us against disobedience. As young black men, we knew that the world could be unforgiving, and that little had changed even though we were growing up in the 50s and 60s.

 

Love was a unicorn to me, a mythical creature that someone might see once in a lifetime, but not everyone will see it.  I even had a woman who told me that she never grew up with love in her home, and that’s her reason for not being loving.  I wasn’t searching for it, it showed up one day in the form of a petite, spiritual woman who wanted me to pass kindness forward.  I was leaving my 91-year-old godmother’s apartment at the time and this small, slender, young woman was holding the elevator for me.  I said thanks, but I’ll take the stairs.  I didn’t want to be accused of anything since there wasn’t anyone else but us.  She said okay but the elevator was fast and she was downstairs by the door, which she was holding.  I mentioned that she was very kind, holding the elevator, and now the door.  She said that I should do kind acts for others, and pay it forward.  After 10 years of being married to that sweet, young thing, I truly feel what love is about.  Yes, she’s still spiritual and I have become the same.  My perspective of love has deepened because of it.  I see God in her and she sees God in everyone.  I’m a complicated person, I don’t want many friends and I’m comfortable being alone.  But since she has been in my life, it’s hard for me not to have her around me at all times.  She has been my counselor, caregiver, confidante, accountant, and lifesaver.  She was undoubtedly a divine gift.  I’m not boasting, I’m grateful.  I’ve been used and played.  But, every now and then, we get blessed more than we can imagine.