This, Too, Shall Pass!

            I admit that living is complicated, but it’s all we have.  At least, we have several opportunities to improve it.  Nothing can be done after dying.  I wouldn’t know, but I haven’t heard anyone returning to forewarn us.

 

            Once again, another friend of mine is in hospice.  The older I get, the more losses I experience.  Captain Tom was my shipmate whom, after 40 years or so, I got in contact with regarding my mental concerns.  While sailing across stormy waters, we lost a fellow shipmate during the hurricane.  I was on duty in the pilot house and on the 1MC.  The captain had me announce that all men remained inside the ship's skin due to the weather conditions.  No one needs to go on deck to see how it looks.  We could see the 30-40 feet swells and white-capped waves from the pilot house.  The ship was fighting to stay on course.  A few shipmates didn’t listen.  Two did go outside, and one was washed overboard.  The swells had moved us away from the sailor, and it took some time for the ship to come about.  When we located him, the swell picked the boat up and dropped it on top of him.  He was struggling but alive, not afterward.  

 

Bob Uecker & Captain Tom

            I have always carried the blame but was able to shelve it in the background of my mind.  It did not surface until I was appointed the head of the veteran program in a homeless shelter.  I had always wondered why I was so edgy and distrustful of people.  My wife had me go to the VA to find out.  I was diagnosed with PTSD.  After 40-plus years, I finally realized the truth.  When I got out of the Navy, I thought it was high blood pressure and other health issues.  We never thought to look at my state of mind.  Now it’s too late.

 

            I searched for Tom on Facebook for the name and dates of the tragic event. I’ve never been a fan of social media. I found him and a couple of other shipmates, and we sorted it out. He spent 38 years in service and was quite a journalist.  Since then, we have maintained correspondence for the past two years.  We shared some pictures of our families and discussed retirement and traveling.  He was so proud of his family and their accomplishments.  Most of all, his grandchildren were the ones who controlled his heart.  He bragged about his wife Diane, who has been his anchor and soulmate throughout his journey.  They took more ocean cruises than I could count.  It was an annual event with them.  I remember they had to stay in New York under quarantine during Covid because he caught it.  He didn’t have the virus, but he was around someone who did, not his wife, but they had to remain separated from others.

 

            In our conversations, he told me that he did have cancer and was receiving treatments.  He would still go on cruises but took the shorter ones whenever the doctor permitted.  He never gave up or let it get him down.  He remained positive the entire time.  The treatments did exhaust him, but he never stopped journaling.  Tom was involved in several community-based programs helping people and was a member of several rotary, local, and national clubs.  I tried to contact him again, but I’m sure Diane is shielding him and making preparations.

 

            I am sad but blessed to have known Tom.  He was authentic, not a fake representation of a man with integrity and honesty.  Like many folks who have suffered physically, he will not be hurting when he’s called home.  Tom left an impact on many of us.  He’ll be missed mourned, but never forgotten.  This, too, shall pass.  While we are still living, we don’t need to make any excuses why we can’t change.

Softball Playoffs In Charlotte, NC May 3-4, 2024 Weekend!

 

Gorillas & Rhinos

 

Easter At My Cousins!

 

Love You, Mother Bennett!

            A few weeks ago, I wrote about my 102-year-old godmother entering the heart hospital due to respiratory issues.  She was retained for three days for medication and observation.  When she was released, she could not return to independent living and had to be moved to assisted living, requiring 24/7 care.  When I visited her at the hospital, it was hard for me to see her in her present condition.  I have been so used to seeing her moving about on her own, talking satirically, and being so sharp-minded that I couldn’t speak for a few seconds.  I saw a frail, little woman with oxygen tubes gazing into an unknown, unaware that someone was in the room.  I called her name and awakened her from her trance.  She recognized me after a few minutes of conversation.  I felt her pain and concern.

 

            I felt, in my heart, that her desire to leave this world would come true. My wife and I visited her at her new location with her granddaughters. She spoke to us briefly but then nodded off to sleep.  This place was where her body and mind would only stay for a while.

 

            This morning, we were told by her granddaughter that she transitioned last night. April 19, 2024, at 7:30 p.m.  We know that you are at peace, Mother Bennett.  Your pain and suffering are now indescribable and inexpressible joys in heaven, your new home.  We love you and will miss you.  You have made an amazing impact on many people’s lives.

              I believe that Heaven rejoices whenever a family member returns home after their final journey.  And we should do the same even as we mourn the loss.

YouTube Dancing, Old School Style!

            I found a new video on YouTube that got my attention lately.  They aren’t doing anything fancy or particular about it except elderly, black folks swing dancing from the oldies but goldies music from the fifties to the seventies.  They are swinging and twirling more than stepping, but it’s interesting to see great-grandparents and grandparents finding time to recreate memories.  I don’t recognize most of the music.  I tried to use Shazam and Google to identify the artist and song, but neither app recognized the sounds.  Some I did, such as Shotgun by Junior Walker and the All-Stars, Barry White, and Al Green from the seventies.

 

            These old folks, dressed in their finest, put aside their walkers and canes, find new dance partners, and enjoy themselves with their dance moves.  I remember that in my military days, we wore colorful outfits and shoes to match.  According to the video's time, they will dance for at least three hours. I don’t look at them that long, but it may be less than an hour.  I enjoy seeing them gliding and acknowledging friends on the dance floor.  It could be the music my parents played when I was a child that has me fixated on what memories they had.  Or, it could be in my aging process, my memories of when I danced.  Then again, how did people see me on the dance floor when I thought I looked cool and dancing smooth?  It took being under the influence of alcohol to get me on the dance floor.  I needed an excuse to dance.  They didn’t.

 

            They have their own building that they attend to hold various functions and celebrate birthdays. The birthday celebrant wears a sash over their shoulders, and people pin money on it.  The seniors have their DJ, who is attentive to them, calling them by name, giving them shout-outs, and making the people comfortable.  I can only imagine how they feel and long for those days gone by.  Deep down inside, I am drawn to them because I am interested in discovering more about my ancestors in Ancestry and Roots Magic.  I do imagine what they went through during slavery, emancipation, reconstruction, Jim Crow, and even in these present times.  We all need to have pleasant things to think about and press forward.

Good Friday!

            Today is Good Friday. A thousand-something years ago, at this time, Jesus Christ was judged, arrested, beaten, stripped, and crowned with thorns that protruded from his head. He will take a journey carrying his cross, our sins, to be crucified. Give or take a few minutes; he will arrive around 9 a.m. to be hung for about six hours and die around 3 p.m. on the fated Friday. He didn’t want to sacrifice his life for people he didn’t know or love, but Jesus was an obedient son who trusted in his Father.

 

            We all have taken some journeys under fear and doubt, not knowing the outcome. I’m not sure we’d go through with it if we knew. Yet, there are people, including veterans, who have given their lives to save the many. They might be recognized later, but how many are forgotten over time? Those impacted by the trauma probably won’t; they will not take the sacrifice for granted. Have we forgotten what Jesus Christ has done for us?

 

            We all have heard this story, and whether we believe it or not, if this even happened, there’s a feeling that something did. Let’s take a few minutes today to think about our journeys.  Did we make any sacrifices? Were we anxious and afraid? Did we complete the assignment and come out stronger? Are we repeating the experience daily, especially during sleep and quiet times? Don’t take anything for granted; Jesus knew when his time would come, but we don’t. No excuses.

Always Valuable!

            My wife and I visited Mother Bennett this past weekend.  At 102, she’s still feisty and quick-witted.  Her granddaughters have a hard time keeping up with her.  The older daughter gets stressed when her grandmother says no to any assistance she offers but accepts it when it’s done, while the younger daughter takes it in stride.  It doesn’t matter to her; Grandma will get over it.

 

            As I watched the interaction between the three women, including my wife, I felt their sincere, unconditional support for each other. I also saw how frail my Godmother was. Once solid and independent up to 101, it seemed just overnight that she became dependent overnight. The scene reminded me of the words to a song about the young becoming old and everything must change. We will all change whether we like it or not.  Growing old lonely doesn’t help.

 

            My godmother mentioned that she is ready for God to take her home.  She has outlived her friends, husband, one of her children, and my dearly departed Godsister, who I considered my biological sister.  Her remaining son is almost 78 years old now.  Her question now is, what can she do for anyone when she can barely care for herself?  Who needs her now?  She looks at her pictures of being young and reminisces about days gone by. I try not to look in mirrors to avoid looking at how old I’m becoming. I’m looking like my father as I get older.  We might try to slow time down, but we can’t stop it. I have learned that we will always be valuable to someone.

 

I fully understand the elderly.  Currently, I’m physically healthy and, at the time, mentally capable, as well as capable of doing things for myself by God’s Grace. There are folks in their 40s who can barely brush their teeth. Yes, I have aches and pains from areas that I didn’t know I had.  Work through them.  Do what you can while you can.

Moments!

            The thought came to me today regarding how moments should be cherished.  It could be due to me getting older and accepting that I will not be on the earth forever.  Also, listening to the beautiful music of string violins, violas, cellos, and pianos could put me in a melancholy mood.  I cannot ignore laughing with my wife and having serious conversations about discussing whatever we want are moments. Walking, listening to concerts, and sharing our time are moments when we can do things together.  Moments,  when people can share with each other.  Moments and times when opportunity will never happen again in this lifetime.

 

            We often take these moments for granted until we realize how important they were after they passed, especially after our friends and loved ones have.  I won’t discount disappointments or discouragements.  They are memorable, unforgettable moments that will always impact our lives.  They will always be reminders of our choices and will most likely never leave.  The Japanese have a saying for the concept, “Ichi-go, Ichi-e, meaning “Once in a Lifetime.”  Enjoy the present moment as it is unique and unrepeatable.

 

            Sometimes, I was uninterested or not wanted to go or participate in any event or function.  When I did go, I was apprehensive or skeptical, but it was over, I truly enjoyed myself.  I’ve learned to become present; even though it took some time, I became more aware of the opportunity I was given.  I hope you do the same one day.

Losers and Suckers!!

            I read a post in a local neighborhood newspaper regarding voting last week.  The author, a veteran, wanted all veterans to vote “blue” “since “45” thinks we’re suckers and losers.”  Another veteran responded by paraphrasing that all veterans are conservative and will always vote as conservatives and not as Liberals.  Therefore, to me, he indicated that all veterans are suckers that will support people who will call us losers and suckers and disgrace those that gave their lives for this country or were caught as prisoners of war.  What he didn’t say was voting for people who support Russian ideals, attacking democracy, and dividing America is a benefit for those in Congress who want to stay in power.

 

Naturally, the veteran’s response was subjectively given.  He did not consider the racial injustices that many minority veterans were subjected to and how they might have felt returning to America and not being accepted in local cities as patriots who survived the war and faced hometown discrimination as if nothing had changed.  He won’t know the injustices and prejudices minorities underwent because he wasn’t mistreated like one.  Either he doesn’t know military history or never tried to learn it.  He sounds like someone who hasn’t shared the experiences minorities had.  This person must have forgotten the Tuskegee Syphilis Studies or how the U.S. Army hung 97 black soldiers, members of the Buffalo Soldiers in 1917 at Fort Houston because they defended themselves against a mob of white men who attacked them.  Let’s move the time up to Vietnam, where minorities still did not want to serve but were placed on the front and take the full assault of the enemy to buffet their fellow soldiers or be the first ones in the tunnels. There are many more instances, past and present, but I hope someone understands.

I’m a veteran and will not have allegiance to anyone I cannot trust.  As for my politics, I support candidates with similar ideas for this country with the best interest of all Americans in mind.  I support those not afraid to speak out against injustices, lies, and wrongs that divide this nation.  I support those who support the military in every possible way and do not humiliate them. I am realistic enough to know that money counts for every campaign, but I respect those not controlled by it.  They made the same pledges to this country for their office as we veterans.  Some of us kept them.

 

This country, as we write, has so many homeless, unemployed, uninsured veterans who are not in any political conversations unless it’s voting time.  Veteran discussions come up only during Veterans Day and campaigns.  I feel, at times, that minority veterans are the lost voices in America.  Returning to the veteran’s response, he doesn’t know how other veterans feel, especially those with dishonorable or bad conduct discharges who are disqualified from receiving medical services from the VA.  He does not represent me.  Yes, I was conservative at a time when bipartisan politics worked for this country and did not waste time infighting.  I still am. However, I choose not to follow the herd blindly. I’m keeping my ears and eyes open, and I will not sleep on bull s###.

American Fiction Review!

I’m not a movie critic, but I will say that the movie “American Fiction,” from my perspective, used the truth as a satirical comedy.  This past weekend, my wife and I went to the Nickelodeon Theatre and discussed how the writer and actors managed to get their point across to people who are ignorant of what people of color deal with daily.  It’s a tragedy the way some people stereotype others so much that they will believe every story told to fit their ideal description.  What is harmful to all of us, to me, is that the more lies a person tells, the more the other person will believe.  

 

The more exciting someone’s life is, the more it’s acceptable.  Society gives a person’s life a rating.  You’re either dull or exciting.  Even that is approved on whether your situation is extreme enough to be noticeable.  We see this on internet influencers.  People will pay to view another person’s life.  We’ve also seen this pretense work with some rappers who have never experienced the raw life on the streets from those who have lost hope.  Some rappers have college degrees and two-parent families and live a sheltered life but are still lonely and lack attention.  It’s all about the money.  I’m not pitting anyone against the other or categorizing a section of people.  I’m just attempting to understand the nuances and idiosyncrasies we all have.

 

Keeping this article brief, my wife pointed out a subtlety I overlooked.  Underlying the principles were two primary themes.  The strong and responsible person is the one dying early if they rest.  They carry the burden of an entire family and their own, while others expect them to and are never noticed by others about their problems.  Sadly, the strong pays a price for leading.  Is this why people won’t accept responsibility because they worry and will always be considered the strong, responsible family member?  Everyone dumps their decisions and life choices on them whenever they can.  Who will take care of the parents?  Who will be accountable for making life-changing decisions?  Who will sacrifice their life for the rest?  Some family members are silent and invisible when an important decision needs to be made.  But find ways to contact the strong ones when they need some help.

 

The other theme is setting ourselves apart from others.  Some of us don’t want to be attached, and we push them away.  I am not sure if it’s about being introverted or just enjoying a solitary life where emotions don’t have to be shared with others.  Maybe fear of being attached to someone who might leave will affect them mentally and physically.  We don’t take the time to relate to or understand others because that leads to attachments, which lead to relationships and vulnerability, which can lead to deception and being foolish.  Some people aren’t aware of this feeling and live alone, being so comfortable that they can’t recognize true love when it appears.

 

“American Fiction” opened my senses and reminded me of my experiences.  It made me see myself, and I’m not happy about my faults.  Yes, we have some family members and friends like those in the movie.  Yes, some of our family and people can be irritating and get on our nerves.  All human beings experience some turmoil in the family.  We all hurt and feel sad about any losses.  Regardless of our color, we are one giant, unhappy family who don’t have the time to hate each other for their color, which we are not responsible for.  All families disagree and may not always get back together, but if we open our hearts and minds to the bigger picture, we can see that God is and will always be our Father.  We’re just one big dysfunctional family.

Foolish Heart!!!

    I find myself acting foolishly even after all these years. I still need to change my approach to reading the news objectively.  I manage to keep my emotions under control most of the time, but lately, I get angry and disgusted with the news I read. It's difficult to remain impartial when the news is written with an obvious bias.  I am addicted to keeping up with current events, even if it has me continually being negative about my surroundings.  It’s a battle to avoid these complicated, technical viewing apparatuses. We need telephones, TVs, and Alexa devices to keep up with the weather and the rate of change in the world around us.  Lord, please bless my foolish heart.  I can’t get through this mess without you. The World needs peace of mind, not turmoil.

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Flaming Hot 2024!!!

            2024 will be a year for letting emotions all out!  COVID had people locked up for so long that people’s emotions are breaking out, and no apologies are necessary.  Claudine Gay, Harvard University’s president, submitted her resignation on January 2, 2024.  The 30^th President and first black woman lasted less than six months, from July 1, 2023 -to January 2, 2024. The minority quota was completed and filled by being the second woman to serve.  They checked all the necessary boxes.  I heard that her supporters are doing their best by showing how angry they are by doing nothing about the circumstances.  Circumstances that are controlled by influential, rich white folk and politicians made it their goal to get rid of this woman.  An advantage of having vast amounts of money is ignoring what anyone thinks about you, your affiliations, and your beliefs.  And those beliefs can be just as racist as the money-holder wants.  Ms. Gay forgot where she was.  Despite her qualifications, she began her short term under fire by the far right, who believed that affirmative action was against white people and that any black person appointed as head of a pillar of society, especially a woman, doesn’t belong there.  She would not be their pawn as a particular Supreme Court judge is.

 

Pressure followed her congressional testimony along with other presidents of Ivy League colleges.  Conservative websites accused her of plagiarism, even though the academics at Harvard did not attest to it.  The Republicans are becoming domestic terrorists who are determined to destroy America.  Please don’t accuse me of saying that; they make stuff up to divide and will lie about it.  Mrs. Gay might not have been perfect, but I have not seen anyone, black or white, man or woman.  I have seen some that are awful, ignorant, incapable of doing their job and are getting free passes by being pathetic.

 

I see that these attacks are accepted by their supporters.  The far right knows no bounds. They tend to control the media, or the media is just plain greedy for news and clicks.  Christopher Rufo was the spearhead of this attack on Mrs. Gay and bragged about it.  He celebrated it and was proud of his victory.  What blew my mind was what was said next.  “We must not stop until we have abolished DEI ideology from every institution in America.”  DEI = Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion.  DEI is Latin for God. God is not in this type of action, although He is diverse, equal, and inclusive.  But, switch two words around, and the letters are DIE.  I wonder if those are the letters that RUFO and Elise Stefanik, a representative from New York, want to see.  The war is against the people who support the Critical Race Theory and telling the truth about this country’s history.  The far-right and others are against those that are woke. Respect to Mark Cuban.  You are appreciated for what you do.

 

Myra Adams, an Opinion Contributor with The Hill, wrote an article regarding Trump’s evangelical voters remaining loyal even though he violates the Ten Commandments.  Gallup reported that 84 percent of the supporters are white.  They could only see Trump as their deity in DEI and will follow him.  Trump is their god.  God sent ten plagues to the Egyptians to release the Jews, and they were witnesses.  Yet, throughout their journey in the wilderness, they complained to God about food and water and wanted to return to captivity.  They continued disobeying, and many never reached the Promised Land.  These Christians can’t see because they believe the lies they are being told.

 

These hypocrites are people who do not want this country to heal.  They want to bring this country down and back to the Jim Crow days.  What new accuse would they find for this?  Affirmative Action was necessary to create diversity and equality in America.  Where would this country be if we didn’t have it?  We have lost our way in dignity and respect.  The devil is taking control of the churches, and the shepherds are misleading us.  But God is still in control.  He will never abandon or forsake those who believe in Him.  Stand by.  We’re about to be witnesses to a saved nation.

New Year, Same Old Resolutions!

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!            

            Congratulations!  If you’re reading this, you made it through 2023!  I don’t know about any of you, but 2023 was a memorable year for me!  It was not harsh for my family, but for the social communities, it was downright devastating.  There were online attacks towards celebrities from trolls and other celebrities on many venues, including YouTube, X, Meta, and Tic Toc.  Slaps from Will to Chris on national TV at the Oscars, the Color Purple Movie controversy, Jamie Foxx breakdown, P Diddy assaults controversy, P Diddy parties including TD Jakes, Taraji, and Oprah low payments for the new Color Purple.  Let’s not overlook big money taking over the poor people’s land in South Carolina.  “Karens” are still accusing minorities that they don’t belong in areas where they live, and cops are still mistreating minorities or shooting them. Immigrants are clogging up the border every day.  These are just a few issues on the social front.  

 

Turbeville was blocking military promotions in the political arena, and McCarthy was making deals to be Speaker even if it took multiple times and wasted taxpayers’ money. Jordan’s only goal is being vindictive for his savior, Donald, for those who supported the January 6^th insurrection.  McCarthy and Gaetz showdown, Jordan now running for speaker but ultimately settled by an unknown, Mike Johnson.  There is no need to discuss Donald Trump; he never left the news but does seem more deranged than ever.  Israel and the Hamas haven’t changed. They’re still fighting and pirating in the Gulf of Aden and the Red Sea.  The republican debates have been a joke with no substance, like Congress.

 

Even professional football officiating has been awful and often controversial.  Good teams have lost their standings of poor, inattentive calls.  Of course, teams and players weren’t so professional on and off the field.  Some of you already know.  In the college arena, ranked teams were split in their ranking.  There is no need to discuss the economy; Biden’s economics worked, but for how long?  Prognosticators are predicting savings in 2024 because 2025 will be different.  People are divided all over the place?

 

2024 is a continuation of 2023, unfinished business.  Each individual must face his/her trials and tests for 2024. Thank God we have gotten this far.  We all must be more diligent in our efforts to seek peace and the truth.  We’re not better than the other, but we can strive towards better communication and understanding with each other.  We are still more powerful working together than separately.  The world is watching and waiting to take over this country while we are divided.

 

We can make 2024 better.  It’s up to all of us.

Rejoice, Rejoice, Rejoice!

Rejoice all, for this day and time, the Lord is near!  The year is quickly coming to an end.  I must be getting older because time seems to fly by.  We will enter a new year in less than two weeks.  Next week is Christmas.  We might or might not be ready for gifts, but will we be prepared for the return of Jesus?  Have we decided to repent from some of our petty and devious ways?  Some of us can’t let go of being trifling in our actions.  We could make an attempt to change, but do we want to?  It’s not easy to do right, but it seems that doing wrong has always been simple.  We were born with sin, but we were also saved by mercy and grace.  Jesus gave his life to fulfill the will of the Father to save us.  Emanuel has never forsaken us or abandoned us.

 

I agree that we seemed to be surrounded by bad news.  Chaos abounds, and hatred is reveling in man’s atrocities towards each other.  I don’t have to go into details, but the innocents are suffering over folks' lust for domination and greed.  It is hard to find joy in this mess, but we can.  We can begin with the little things.  Such as waking up, our health could be worse, sight, smell, taste, hearing, touching, holding the people we love, and speaking to tell them we love them.  We can change our old habits and make it a goal to take one step at a time.  We could begin now during Advent to start New Year's habits.  Whatever we do, let’s keep it positive.

 

I believe the fewer excuses we find, the better we will be and feel.  I wish you all a blessed and safe Christmas and New Year!  Find your joy!

A Seat At The Table?

            Whose table do you want to sit at, and who will be there? There are many tables, but only a few seats remain. What is the price of admission to each table? Even if God's table is free, it still requires time, repentance, honesty, obedience, mercy, and forgiveness. Some of the other tables require at least money, fame, or power, and I cannot afford any of those. Regardless, sitting at a table grants you a voice and an opportunity to speak and be heard. It's about representation, but the table owner will control the conversation. Remember that discretion is the better part of valor, and be cautious of yourself and others. In other words, choose your battles wisely.

 

            There are certain advantages to sitting at the table, such as enjoying certain perks. Moreover, sitting near the owner shows a sign of respect. However, respect may only sometimes be genuine, as people may pretend to respect you in your presence while talking behind your back. This is a common occurrence that many have experienced, and it is often the case that people have hidden agendas. The song "Smiling Faces" by The Undisputed Truth perfectly encapsulates this situation. Therefore, being aware of others' intentions and keeping your guard is vital.

 

            It is an honor, and since you have the opportunity to speak at the table, what will be your platform, and how will you articulate it?  What kind of tone will you use?  Do you have a resolution, a template, or an idea?  Will you compromise to obtain your recommendations or suggestions?  Or will you yield to the more powerful?  What will your attitude be like?  Expect supporters and non-supporters to be neutral and uncommitted, but you’ll know where people stand on the issues.  It could be important being there, or it could be a facade.  I wish you wisdom, integrity, courage, and honesty.

Veterans Day Entry Follow-Up with Soma on November 10-11, 2023!

The Soma Store that my wife and I had POC concerns about made contact with her two weeks ago.  They invited her to return and to meet with the young lady who treated us professionally and respectfully.  We appreciate the gesture, but we have not returned and are unsure if we will.  The corporate office also contacted her and offered appealing discounts, but the experience has still left a bad feeling in our minds. I wondered how many others have been silent about their own experiences.  It was never about the discounts.  My wife enjoyed the products and the quality.  She was already taking advantage of the discounted prices.  It was more about being ignored and being mistreated for being a particular color.  

 

I never intended to have the corporate office impose penalties on individuals whose means of earning an honest living.  It’s about putting aside racial stereotypes and mindsets, especially when dealing with the public.  It’s not okay to behave foolishly and be ignorant of the effects the behavior might have on others. 

Let’s be courageous enough and have a dialogue about what we seem to misunderstand, clear up those issues, and work towards changing these mindsets.  Sometimes, punishment and coercion result in the opposite results.  Our communities have enough to deal with as it is.  I still believe that with effort, resilience, and understanding, we can accomplish our goals, one issue at a time, in due season.

 

Hats off to Soma for making the effort.  Thank you.

Veterans’ Day Weekend 9-10, 2023, Was Not About Veterans Here!

    My wife has been a loyal customer of Soma for several years, and not once has she ever been mistreated or denied excellent customer service until the past two days.  Whenever she would go shopping, I would find a seat and wait patiently while she searched for her sizes.  She’s petite, and it takes some time for her to see what she’s looking for.  She also does her research by going online and ordering and finding what is available at her local Soma store.  

 

    She returned an online order for a different size Friday evening at Soma Store 5318 in Trenholm Plaza, Forest Acres, South Carolina.  Her salesperson never greeted her, and she appeared unwilling to help her find her sizes for the exchange.  After interrogating my wife when the purchase was made, the salesperson stopped the process after she was shown the online documents.  This never stopped the salesperson from her rude behavior because she pointed to where the items might be located but never lifted a finger to assist her.  It was at this time my wife decided to leave.  Only two customers with a baby were together, being helped, it seemed, by the store manager or supervisor who wore pajamas.  She was too emotional to finish the shopping.

 

    We returned Saturday morning, and the same salesperson was there, hanging some clothing on a rack by the registers.  She avoided us when she saw us and walked off the sales floor.  My wife went to the area where she was told to look last evening and found her items.  E, another salesperson, greeted us and assisted my wife.  The manager or supervisor was helping another customer while we were there.

 

    My wife did not want me to address this issue. However, my explanation was and still is that ignoring customers and being rude is not beneficial to any organization serving the people regardless of who they are.  If a salesperson is reluctant to help the people contributing to the growth of any business, they are stunting the growth of said business.  What matters is that we felt unwanted by that salesperson who had no intention to assist us and did not want to be bothered by us.  Being rude and inconsiderate is acceptable lately.  People aren’t apologetic or concerned about addressing current social issues.

 

I am not asking that this salesperson be penalized; no one knows what is going through another person’s mind or what she may have encountered before we arrived.  But, repeating the same attitude the next morning does not convince me she was having “a bad day” the day before.  I respectfully request that someone with diplomacy and tact speak with her about improving her customer service and people skills.  My wife will continue to shop with Soma.  She enjoys their products.

 

    Still, I contacted their corporate office, which is somewhere overseas.  I explained the same situation to them.  I also read this store's reviews, which confirmed my suspicions about the store’s staff.  I read the store’s reviews. It seems that the one or 2-star reviews came from People of Color, and it does not appear that anything has been done about the staff’s negative behavior.  I also saw that negative reviewers were to call 866-768-7662 for “opportunities for resolution.”  The opportunities may exist for resolutions, but not followed through.  I felt obligated to inform corporate that good customer service is for all customers regardless of skin color.  The latest one-star review was three weeks ago regarding a similar situation.  After reading several other reviews, it seems to be a trend at this location of how some people are treated, valuable customers or not.  My intuition told me not to write a review but to go directly to the source.  I did and it was a disappointment.

 

    During this weekend’s experience, I realized that the corporate office would never be informed or even hear of any negative experiences from their customers.  They are being shielded by these “contact operators” and not going further than the phone or email.  They will find an excuse, especially when money is involved.  One consultant even went as far as to tell us, “Don’t go back to the store.”  2023, same institutionalized racism, different people.  The years only have changed.

 

Anger, Disgusted and Discouraged!

            Yesterday, I got so angry and discouraged that I didn’t know what to do with myself.  All I could think of was what would help people get their acts together.  I saw Episode One of “Lawman: Bass Reeves” on Paramount.  It was also the last episode that I will look at.  I read that it is a true story about a slave who later in life became a federal deputy Marshall who survived the rigors and racism in the Wild West post-Civil War.  The story is well-written, and the actors are well-respected and convincing.  In fact, the story and scenes were convincing enough to have taken me back in time and emotions.  I started questioning how hatred could be so acceptable by the so-called Christian folk to cause them to abuse, mistreat, and kill another group of people who didn’t have the same color as them.  I got disgusted and angry, so I had to research who Bass Reeves was and why this was the first time I ever heard of this black lawman.

 

              The deeper I dove in, the more I realized that this slave who became a top lawman was intentionally kept in the history books.  Black people were not meant to have heroes.  It also seemed to me that black folks are not meant to arrest or shoot white folks, either, which Mr. Reeves could do both and be supported by the federal courts, not always by the people in the courts.  I’m a Lone Ranger fan, and I never heard of this man, but from my research, it could have been reasonable that Gaylord Dubois used Bass Reeves as the template for the Lone Ranger.  The Lone Ranger had Tonto, the son of an actual Mohawk Chief, who rode with him side-by-side.  They were able to enter Indian territories and make arrests of the white men seeking to hide and Indians who broke the law.  Bass Reeves lived with Indians and spoke several of their languages.  They accepted him, even deputizing some of them to become lawmen.  Like Bass Reeves, the Lone Ranger wore disguises, fooling so many outlaws that some even accepted him in their camps.  We know that the Lone Ranger was fictional, but we know now that Bass Reeves was real.

 

                What tripped my emotions yesterday convinced me that people are willing to hide the historical values of what others did to build this country by devaluing their contributions and rewriting history to protect their weaknesses.  We see it daily in folks fighting against the freedoms the ancestors and founders of this great land died for.  Certain books cannot be read, racism does not exist, and people who are “woke” are wrong, but liars and deceivers are accepted and followed. Why rewrite history when it's easier to ignore it?  Nearest Green, a former slave and master distiller, was finally recognized as passing the process of making whiskey to the maker of Jack Daniels. Not many people, drinkers and non-drinkers, are aware of this.  It had to take Fawn Weaver, the Black CEO of the Uncle Nearest Brand, to bring this hidden gem to light.  History is truth, whether we like it or not.  Not being taught and not being educated about the very tenets this country was built on is hiding the truth of liberty.

                Many of these people who are against the freedoms of others are descendants of immigrants who left their countries for the very freedoms they were denied there.  I refuse to believe that this great nation has become a nation of hypocrites and fake Christians.  I think the majority is silent and has become numb and quiet to the shame they are witnessing.   But I also believe that God is still in control and that we all should reconcile with him before we reconcile with each other.  I cannot change the heart of my brother, no matter how much I want him to see things my way and vice-versa.  Only God can do that, so we should run to Him.  Then I could see you and me working together towards unity.  

 

                Honorable mention to Bishop T. D. Jakes, whose sermon was meant for me during my anger, disgust, and discouragement episode.

An Open Letter to my Brother’s Son-In-Law!

            I know you’re surprised to hear from me.  Today is our mother’s birthday and it is always special to me.  She would have been 93 today.  I can feel myself being in a joyful and sorrowful mood at the same time.  It could also be the cause of this letter.  I remember how she raised my brother and me with the help of her mother when my father decided to pursue a life of his own.  Do I hold him responsible for my own life?  Maybe.  Even though I hold myself accountable for my own actions, I truly believe if he was still involved with us, I would have made a decision to make the military my career and wouldn’t have resigned my commission.  If you’re thinking that I could have made that decision on my own you’re right.  But I wanted to hear from him, he was supposed to be an authority in our home, and because I followed in his footsteps by joining the Navy.

 

            It’s hard to raise a family as a single parent without issues, I can only imagine if there are difficulties that are constantly in the way day in and day out.  What a burden it is.  Children did not ask to be born but are here and alive.   Some are products of love and some, are mistakes.  They still need to know that there are people that they can count on.   Especially, when they need advice and support.  Otherwise, failure, depression, and anxiety could cause them undue pressure later in life.  Perhaps, I’m feeling melancholy because of today, but suppressing emotions can be a time bomb.

 

            Whatever we may feel about our spouses, there is never a need to abuse them in any method.  I have had so many failures in my life when there were times when giving up was the best escape.  I failed at some careers, relationships, and goals and received so many denials that it was easier to call it quits with life.  Who should I have blamed?  Nobody.  We man up and hold ourselves accountable. Only some things will go our way.  We fall down but by the grace of God, we get back up.  That was a decision that I made that day, to get back up.  Why be another statistic when I can prove to myself, not to anyone else, that I will survive, not on my own, but with God, I can be better today than yesterday.

 

            Starting alone all over again is expensive after investing so much together in a family.  My father after so many years of our lives in his later years actually expected my mother to take him back in.  It was no surprise that she didn’t.  The children were now adults with their own families.  He found a place in the neighborhood near my uncle and transitioned in a few years.  He transitioned alone.

 

            I wondered what my brother would have said to you and what his reaction would be.  He had a temper in his younger days. He would have mellowed out.  You have your life to live but pray for a peaceful one where the conscious won’t remind you every day that was it truly worth it.  When one out of two marries for love and the other for lust, there is never a bond in the first place.  I do have a humble request.   Help your estranged family out, maintain contact, stay in the child’s life and if not wanted, be near, protect, and show love.  You had a part in creating your child and cannot renounce a proof of beauty.

 

No longer a child, I can look back and remember how blessed we were to have a mother we had who loved us and made sacrifices for us.  As a parent, I would like to be remembered the same way.  I want you to know that if my brother loved you, I wish the best for you, and have no animosity towards you.  Live the life you were meant to live and have no regrets or remorse for the decisions you make.  Don’t look for any excuses, live with the choices you make.  I wish you well.  May God bless you and keep you.

The More We Have, The More We Want!

            What makes matters worse is that we aren’t satisfied with what we already have and we want more!  We want it because we can, and the next question is how much we will use it and its effect on us.  When will we realize how much we are blessed to be able to get it?  Some things may be beyond our reach, but we will try anyway.  Persistence, sacrifice, selfishness, greed, stubbornness whatever might drive us, we won’t rest until we get it.  Even after accomplishing our objectives, I’m not sure that it satisfies.  Speaking for myself, I get a little disappointed.

 

 If I use faith, would I ignore my thoughts to believe that God provides, or is it faith in our own ability to obtain our desires?  We can be hypocrites and not know it or maybe we do know and won’t admit it.  The truth is even though we think we own something, it’s temporary we can’t take it with us.  We pile up things that one day someone else will use. Whether it’s of sentimental or monetary value, it won’t matter.  Someone will enjoy the fruits of our labor.  Yes, there might be a legacy but over time that will change, too.

 

Some of us believe in a higher power and it doesn’t matter what you name it.  We know that there is something greater than we are and all-powerful.  We know by our ailments and issues that some things are beyond our control and we are here on this earth forever.  Even the centenarians we know are ready to leave this place.  Who are we to fulfill our desires and wants?  We hardly know what we need.  Our wants can dominate our needs therefore causing us to ignore what we really need.  From my standpoint we need Jesus.

 

We live in a society where the more we have is an expression of who we are.  It creates a façade questioning what status level we’re on, leaving those who don’t know us to think we achieved our dreams.  Whereas, if don’t pay as we go, we become so deep in debt that we aren’t happy and find comfort in buying things that we hardly use to continue being who we are not.  To me, that’s why some people are so miserable who we thought “made it.”  Everyone likes nice things but have the wisdom to know what it takes to get it.  Wise folks will make the sacrifices and get it done so that they can rest peacefully.  They not taking from one area in their cache to pay in another area.  They have found balance in their lives.  I believe we can all do that.  

 

St. Paul said “I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:11-13 NIV

Millennium Park Water Fountains!!

 

Breakfast and Lunch From Chicago Restaurants!

Corn Beef and Hash with Eggs

Won Ton Soup with Nori

Roasted Duck Breast

 

Camelot at the Intercontinental Hotel on Magnificent Mile in Chicago!

 

Fountain

Knight 1

Lady Guinevere

King Arthur

Brighter Days Will Come!

On days of sorrow,

one spirit sees a bright, sunny sky.

While another touches

a dark and lonely one.

 

One person rejoices that the inevitable is over,

no more suffering and pain.

Yet, another is wondering 

what is there to gain?

 

Joy will come one unexpected morning,

after moments of sorrow.

Long after the loss is gone,

there is still hope for today.

 

When you put people in their place,

remember yours.

Rest In Peace Anthony! You Are Loved!

Mr. Anthony Ray Litman departed this life on Wednesday, September 6, 2023, at National Health Care of Anderson, SC.  Anthony Litman was born December 3, 1954, to the late Robert Litman and Willie Lee Crosby Litman.

 

He was a graduate of T.L. Hanna High School.  He worked in the textile industry.

 

He leaves to cherish his sisters, Teresa A. Hunt of Anderson, SC, Patricia M. Litman of Anderson, SC, Audrey Mattress (Jimmy) of Anderson, SC; brothers, Robert L. Litman, Jr. (Crystal) of Anderson, SC, Patrick B. Litman of Anderson, SC, Dewayne Litman of Anderson, SC, and Gregory R. Litman of Anderson, SC; nieces, nephews, and a host of other relatives.

 

In addition to his parents, he was preceded in death by his brother, Jonathan Litman; aunts, Josephine McCullough and Mamie Gaines, Savannah White; uncles, Theodore Crosby, Kale Crosby, Frank Crosby, Elijah Litman, Dennis Litman, and James “Gent” Litman; grandparents, Hattie Crosby, Kale Crosby, Janie Rose Litman, and Elijah Litman.

 

Acknowledgments from the Family: Words cannot express the depth of our love and appreciation for the many acts of kindness shown during the illness and passing of our dear loved one.  Your prayers, food, visits, calls, cards, and kind words gave us great comfort and support.  May God’s blessings be yours forever.  Please continue to pray for our strength.

 

Family, friends, and others whose lives were touched by Anthony Ray Litman during his life’s journey are invited to celebrate his life on Sunday, September 10, 2023, at 2:00 pm at Royal Baptist Church, Anderson, SC with the interment to follow at Westview Cemetery, Anderson, SC.

 

Public viewing will be on Saturday, September 9, 2023, from 1:00 p.m. until 6:00 p.m. at The Unity Mortuary of Anderson.

 

The family is at 508 South Jefferson Avenue, Anderson, SC 29621.

 

Don't Let the Neanderthals Get To You!

            I had a very pleasant Labor Day Weekend.  People everywhere I went were kind and cordial, which was surprising.  I didn’t go to many places, but when I went to the grocery stores, I was greeted, and even in department stores, I was acknowledged.  I entered a battery store for my watch and was greeted and helped.  I thought of the song “Today Was a Good Day” by Ice Cube.  Even the streetlights were in my favor.  Heavenly Ham made my ham sandwich precisely the way I wanted.  I have to say that most of the people that I crossed paths with were considerate.

            

            All was well until I took my wife to Cracker Barrel for lunch.  Most humans hold the door for each other when they see another party following them into an establishment.  Out of respect for the woman, we usually hold the door until we see the man, if he is with her, reach for the door.  After all, we hold the door for our women, why not be considerate to others?  In this case, “Dorq,” the Neanderthal (I didn’t want to give him any name), waited until my wife got to the door to walk away.  My intuition told me that “Dorq” was not a human and moved quickly enough to catch the door in time before it closed in her face.  Either he wasn't aware that she was behind him or didn't care, I was prepared for a resolution.  Instead, my wife told me to let it go in such a way that I was not going to ruin her afternoon.  However, I watched closely where we were going to be seated because I did not want to be near “Dorq.”

 

            After a pleasant lunch, since it was a beautiful day, we went to the Riverfront to walk off the wonderful meal and my ire.  I felt 100% better after our 4-mile walk.  Yes, I still had a good day.  People will be who they are.  Don't let one "Dorq" ruin a good day.

Train Riding in the Georgia Mountains on the Blue Ridge Scenic Rail Road!