Sunday, August 26, 2012

Let Go Of The Past Hurts and Let God In For Future Blessings!



I’ve been self-incarcerated for almost 30 years.  It was a bad feeling being behind a self-imposed prison caused by my divorce. I had still harbored angry and bitter feelings toward my ex-wife.  I thought I had forgiven her but you can’t forgive someone if you stay angry with them.  You must forgive and forget!  I realized that my anger was misdirected and when we last talked, I called back to apologize for my rudeness.  I prayed to God to release this anger and bitterness.  I had a revelation that I wasn’t angry with my ex-wife, I was angry at where we should have been together!  The sad irony about all of this is I dwelled on where we both could have been instead of moving forward where I should have been.  I couldn’t successfully continue other relationships because I saw her in them and did not give anyone a chance for fear of being hurt.  Being unforgiving can cause you more harm than a disease.  Carrying baggage is more than a burden, it’s a handicap. It’s crippling.  The older the baggage, the worse the back will ache and the mind torment.  I let someone else deny my dreams while I sat back doing nothing about it.  We blame people for our own actions.  How pitiful and pathetic I am.  After this eye opening event, I realized that my purpose is in this life is not yet over and I am a better man for this.  I wanted to be in control and lost. I had to yield to God Who always remains in control.  There is a distinct difference between regret and anger.  I don’t regret ever being married to her, she is a wonderful woman.  We could not compromise on our differences.  Was it pride or individualism, I don’t know.  It was probably that and more.  But I do feel lighter mentally and ready for a new chapter in my life.  We all have struggles. Don’t be angry or jealous of someone else’s blessings.  We don’t know what they been through to get where they are.  The sun shines and the rain falls on the good and bad.  We should treat each other as we would like to be treated and keep God first and foremost in our lives.  Things don’t always go as we like but we can keep a positive attitude so that the next time it happens we can find a learning experience from it.  We have to let go and let God.

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