Thank you, Vivian!

I was reminded today if I intended to stop entries to my blog. I knew some people read it because I get comments on them from time to time. I guess I didn’t expect my co-workers to read them. In fact, Vivian even remembered the date of my last entry. I’ve had some major projects going on at this time and have actually immersed myself so deep in them that I didn’t want to think about the negativity and memories that surround all of us everyday. I need to thank Vivian for jolting me back to reality. I have no excuses but I do have an explanation. Two years ago during this same time period, my mother was rushed to the hospital. Two years ago during this same time period, there was nothing else that was so important to me that she recovers. She didn’t. On March 24, 2008 around 10:00 p.m., the day after Easter, my mother went home. Even now, it still seems so fresh in my mind and I am openly weeping. One of the projects that I am working on ends the 25th of March. I enveloped myself totally so that I did not, would not have the time to think about anything except making this project a success. Yes, I was aware of the dates, the 6th, she was rushed to hospital, two weeks later transferred to the hospice. Mentioning the hospice to me cuts to the bone, but she had the best people, I feel in the world, to make her final days as comfortable as possible. My mother did volunteer work at that same hospice and they all knew her and we all cried together. Is it any wonder that I withdraw from everyone around this time? Time will not allow me to get over my hurt. I have these beautiful memories of her but I also have those memories of her lying so helplessly, defenseless, and so small in that bed. That was my mother who could tell me to get a switch for my whipping and afterwards, tell me how much she loved me and why she spanked me. This was the same woman that could cook a dinner that could be sold in restaurants. This was also the same woman that made sure the other kids in the neighborhood had food and clothes and that the shut-ins would have the same. My mother loved everybody, black, white, red, or yellow, protestant, Muslim, or Jew. Everyone had a mother and they were old children of God. That’s how she lived and that’s how she taught us. As a retired RN, she knew what families faced with a loved one in the hospital. She worked in pediatrics for years and would come home and still cry for those little babies. I could go on but there are so many of us that feel the same way about our parents. Everyone is always closer to one than the other and you share that special bond. A bond that is eternal. It is tough during this time of year, in fact, in 2008, I only made 2 entries. I just didn’t want to write. If there are any spelling and/or grammatical errors it’s because I have taken my glasses off and will not proofread any of this. Please forgive me. Well, this is my explanation. There are other things that I need to talk about. My brothers and sisters in Christ, God bless you always in good and troubled times.  He will never leave us!