Warfare Between the Flesh and the Spirit!

I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed, everyone! I've reached a point where my actions no longer make sense, even to me. Each morning, I make it a habit to read my Bible and other spiritual teachings. Last week, I began exploring the Holy Spirit, who is part of the Holy Trinity. I understand enough not to overstep the mystery of the three in One, but I was eager to learn more about the Spirit’s nature. For the past two weeks, I've been praying to be guided by the Spirit, who hears and intercedes for our salvation. However, this week, I’ve hit a bit of a spiritual wall that’s left me feeling puzzled about my thoughts and actions.

I'm generally a very organized person, but I am rigid at times. I hadn't realized how challenging it can be when things don't go as planned or don't align with my expectations. Recently, I had to accept two rescheduled appointments, even though I wasn't excited about it. I also tried replanting my vegetables, which was a bit stressful and almost damaged them. I was a little disappointed because, despite growing nicely and producing fruit, the veggies had outgrown their containers. I even considered spraying pesticides to protect them from pests, but I wanted to keep them organic. I looked for safe homemade remedies to deal with the mites or bugs, but I couldn't find any that worked.

I’m not finished yet. I took my car in for an oil change, and anyone who's ever been through the process of visiting an auto repair shop knows that preventative maintenance can sometimes be more complicated than expected. I left my vehicle at the shop for the first time in years because my wife and I had an appointment to attend. I was hoping the car would be ready when we returned in a few hours. Instead, I received a text from the service department informing me that they had found a leak in the power steering line and would contact my insurance company to determine if it was covered under warranty. In the past, I have not encountered any issues. After some time, the agent texted that the claim was denied.

I went home and searched for my contract, but I couldn’t find it. I then tried to download it online, but that didn’t work either. So, I called the company, and they informed me that they were experiencing issues with their computers and couldn’t open any documents. They did mention they had received a request from the dealership, but I was puzzled as to why the request was denied when no one could review the documents. They couldn’t explain it. It made me wonder if it would be easier to tell the agent that the computers are down and to call back later. I was also thinking about where the honest, reliable workers are in this business. Are you following me so far? To add to the frustration, my wife kindly took me to the dealership to pick up my car, even though I was planning to return it after the weekend once I contacted the warranty company. I wanted the service agent to show me where I might need to refill the power steering fluid. When we looked under the hood, I noticed that the container wasn’t even secured—an easy fix, but it just didn’t seem right. I don’t want to drive anything loose, especially in the engine, on these busy roads. So, I decided to leave the car there—it was enough for one day. I didn’t take it off searching for part numbers, the service department did.

My dear wife wasn’t spared from my anxiety, and she often endured my struggles. We went for a walk on Saturday morning, though not together. I was wrestling with the inner conflict between my flesh and the Spirit. During that walk, the truth became clear—I wasn’t aligning my will with God's. My frustration and anxiety showed that I was hoping God’s Will would match mine. Sometimes I wonder, who do I think I am? I asked to learn about the Spirit, but I was still expecting everything to happen my way. No wonder I felt so frustrated and exhausted. My mind has been resisting the Spirit, and I’ve broken many spiritual laws—so many that it would take pages to list them all. I have a good, loving woman who does not deserve this type of behavior from me. The walk was my wife’s idea to get me out of the house. By the time we returned, her stomach was upset because of me.

As I continue to grow spiritually, I understand the importance of disciplining myself to live fully in the spirit and surrender my mind to that spiritual guidance. Currently, I find myself in a challenging situation with my wife, having made a mistake that I deeply regret. I am grateful that God's grace is giving me another chance to do better. I want to focus my thoughts on what is above, rather than on earthly concerns. Truly, I need to transform my mind to align with what is spiritual and avoid being shaped by worldly thoughts. I will continue praying for the Holy Spirit to lead me. 

History in the Making!

         We are living in remarkable times, and it's disheartening to see that history is being rewritten. It’s truly painful to think of how our ancestors would react to knowing that their contributions are overlooked by some who dislike the color of our skin. This kind of hate has echoed through the ages. Unfortunately, it appears to have taken a strong hold in our governmental leadership, and those who elected them want these decisions to be implemented. People of color have played a vital role in building this mighty nation, contributing their inventions, critical thinking, and even sacrificing their well-being. Brave Americans have fought and lost their lives through bombs and assassinations to uphold the rights of all. Yet, in recent months, we’ve witnessed troubling actions that undermine justice and democracy, with our leaders stripping away the rights of citizens, especially those who are most vulnerable and have no one to turn to.

 

         It’s truly disheartening to see that programs designed to assist American citizens with special and economic needs are facing cuts, especially when that funding seems to be directed toward helping the wealthy, who already possess generational wealth. I don't mean to sound overly gloomy, but it disturbs me how proud some may seem of the double standards present in our government. Issues like corruption within the Supreme Court often go unnoticed or unreported. It feels like the blindfolds are off, and unfortunately, some judges appear to prioritize money over justice, allowing a pay-to-play mentality to emerge. It's concerning to think that we currently have a felon leading the country, alongside many others in positions of power. The ongoing battle against fake news has led many to question the credibility of any news source. While some reports seem to lean towards the far right, it’s essential to acknowledge that many owners have connections to those in power. Journalists who strive to reveal the truth often face consequences, creating an atmosphere of fear for others who wish to speak honestly. This is indeed a troubling situation. The deregulations and elimination of entire departments mean that anyone who supports DEI could find themselves without funding or tax breaks.

 

         It's essential to recognize the diverse forms and evolution of social media. Initially, it was designed to help us stay connected with classmates, former classmates, family, and friends. We could share news in real-time, reaching people all around the world in just minutes! Folks began using social media to express their personal beliefs and explore new ideas. Eventually, the owners of these media platforms began rewarding those who were most effective in promoting content, which opened new revenue streams. However, some individuals found ways to leverage this format for political gain, sometimes leading to the dissemination of misinformation to broader audiences. As a result, influencers emerged and became key players, capturing the attention of politicians eager to engage with them. Artificial intelligence, or AI, is here. It will soon take over the methods and the way we live. We already rely on Alexa and Siri, and now we have exciting options like ChatGPT, Google’s Gemini, and Microsoft CoPilot! Tech companies are emerging rapidly to meet the growing demand, which presents both opportunities and challenges in the workforce due to the rise of robotics and AI. The impact of AI can be either positive or negative, depending on the sources it uses for data.

 

         We continue to move forward with the comforting belief that God is in control and will always be there for us. I sometimes find myself reflecting on what our ancestors must have felt during their difficult times of slavery. For generations, they prayed for a miracle—one that would touch the hearts of men and women and inspire them to change for the better. Our focus remains not on our own will, but on God’s Will. Humanity has often turned away from God and His commandments, choosing instead idols made of stone or flesh, which are inevitably imperfect and flawed. Our religious leaders are facing challenges like never before. They now have the choice to follow God and stand firm alone or to follow a man and fall together. We know our time here is limited.

 

Does Lying Justify Doing Wrong?

    Sometimes I find myself thinking about some pretty wild questions, and I can't help but wonder why I've even said them in the first place. The answers could sway either way, depending on different perspectives. If I verbally or physically assault someone because I love them, does it make it right? Take this thought, for example: What if I had to betray someone’s trust to keep them safe from harm? Would I be wrong for the betrayal, yet right in my desire to protect them? Depending on some people’s perspective, there is a distinct difference, but can emotions blind them to the truth?

    If I acted out of revenge towards someone, fully aware that I was going against God’s wishes, could that ever be justified? After all, God reminds us that vengeance belongs only to Him. My spiritual upbringing teaches me that if I've offended God in ways that don't align with His Will, then I've sinned. Any action I take that isn't aligned with God's intentions ultimately becomes self-serving. God’s intentions supersede self-intentions. It makes me realize that I'm already in the wrong and struggling to find a justification for it. How long can I get away with that?

    Am I the only one who feels brave enough to share my honest perspective? Sometimes, when the moment feels right, we twist the truth just a little. While a little white lie isn’t always the best option, we often find ways to rationalize it. In the end, embracing the truth brings us the peace, freedom, and comfort we seek. In all this confusion, do we ever find ourselves comparing our journeys to those of others? We often feel the pull to present ourselves as the kind of people who uphold integrity to fit into a specific social mold, yet we sometimes fake it to fit in. This, in turn, can lead to deceiving both ourselves and those around us. Those closest to us often see right through it. After all, a lie remains a lie, regardless of how it’s told.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Some Words For Our Children!

I appreciate attending my wife’s church for several reasons. We attend together, and I take pleasure in witnessing her devotion as she praises and thanks God. This experience became familiar during our courtship, particularly when we participated in the Woman, Thou Art Loose events organized by Bishop T. D. Jakes. Furthermore, I found it remarkable to observe the congregants, filled with the Holy Spirit, dancing and rejoicing during the praise music. Given my lifelong affiliation as a Catholic, this experience contrasts significantly with my attendance at Mass. 

Additionally, the music and singing from the Praise Team are exceptional. The highlight of the service is the inspiring sermon delivered by the church’s bishop, with whom I find a strong connection in his topics. When we leave, I repeat his message throughout the week. Including Jesus in daily operations helps me to complete my assignments without frustration and anxiety.

I observed the interaction between two young men who were seated in front of us. They appeared to be brothers, with one being significantly larger than the other and seemingly younger. Upon their arrival in the row, the older brother gestured for the younger one to take his seat first, resulting in the younger individual occupying a position with an empty seat between them. I immediately discerned that the son had accompanied his father to the church. I was particularly impressed to witness a father who is actively involved in his son’s life. Given the prevailing negative narratives surrounding absent fathers and unruly teenagers, I found this sight encouraging. When the father gently nudged his son to accompany him towards the altar call, it served as further confirmation of their bond. What was particularly remarkable was the son’s immediate obedience. This was truly a fantastic moment. I didn’t see any disdain or hear any backtalk.

I later wondered what this father would write to his son if he could during his last moments? 

“Baby boy, when you were born, I held you in one hand. You were so tiny and vulnerable. You just stared at me when I picked you up as if you knew me. You became still when I started speaking. I was expressing my sincere appreciation and love for you and assured you that I will do everything in my power to protect and provide for you and your mother. There’s a lot to talk about, and if the Lord Wills, I hope to speak with you about it in phases. Right now, you’re too young to understand, but as you grow older, you’ll be able to understand me better. The main lesson will begin now. Your baptism into knowing God is next month. You are my offering and thanksgiving. 

Look at you now, at four months old. I see you are starting to look a little like me, but you have your mom’s eyes. So, your first words were 'Mama' and ‘no, son.’ I’m not surprised. Your mom talks to you whenever she gets a chance. It seems that all I do is change your diapers, strap you in your car seat, and give you a quick kiss on the forehead when I leave and return from work. I do get to hold you at church so your mom can get some rest. We watch the games together, but most of the time, you’re sleeping. I still talk to you, but you were always reaching for Mama. I like that. Man to little man, your mother is always to be respected and cared for, no matter how old you get. She will be your anchor and source of stability as you grow older. Always listen to her. 

I hope to always be there for you. Being Black in America comes with disadvantages and roadblocks, as some systems are designed to discourage and slow the pursuit of opportunities and freedoms. Many men who look like me have been hurt or jailed simply because of the color of our skin. You’re looking at me with curiosity, but in time, you will understand how much I love you and want the very best life has to offer you.

Well, well, son. You have now conquered peeing in your diapers and are completely potty-trained. You took about six months, while your sister learned in half that time. That is no problem. You will soon have to overcome the bed-wetting issue.

Regarding your sister, Joy, I want to remind you that she’s older and has a lot of wisdom to share. She might give you advice because she understands our family dynamics. If she happens to hit you, remember not to hit back. You can always block her punches, but showing her respect is essential, even if your opinions differ. Try practicing this now! As you grow older and enter your relationships with women, keep this in mind: no matter how upset you might feel, it’s essential never to use your hands against a woman. I want to take you with me when we work in the yard. I want you to learn from me about a man’s responsibilities. I was hoping you could ask questions that are on your mind. Any questions that you might have will not be silly.

Jonathan, I am so glad to be here to video your first steps. You seem to be listening to every word everybody says. I did hear you say no to Joy when she told you not to climb on the end table. She’s just looking out for you. Yes, I did spank you, but not for that. You don’t talk back to your mama. That’s why I tapped you. Spare the rod, spoil the child. I am not into parents feeling that it’s cute when babies talk back. Don’t start bad habits and don’t keep them. I don’t want to visit you in jail or at the grave for being disobedient and following the trends.

How was your first day at kindergarten, Jon? Don’t let your classmates get you into trouble by following them around. You are your own man. Some of them will try to get into your head and call you names if you don’t follow along with them. Would you rather deal with them or me? Your family will not steer you wrong. Don’t embarrass the family’s name. Well, I didn’t get much sleep when your sister started her first day in school. It did prepare me for you. I trust you two, you’re my heart and soul. I only want the best for you. So, trust me. Please don’t create a problem for yourself; ask me anything that is on your mind. If I don’t have an answer, I’ll find someone who does.

Wow! Time truly flies! Look at you, all grown up! Throughout the years, your mother and I have admired yours and Joy’s dedication and commitment to your futures. You've earned your doctorate in engineering and risen to the rank of Captain in the Navy. You and Denise have blessed us with two beautiful grandchildren, and I couldn't be prouder of you, son. Joy is a Medical Doctor practicing pediatrics. You both have guided your families on the wonderful path to God, setting a beautiful example of what it means to serve God. I’m so grateful to have seen our family flourish. Your mother and I thank Him every day for the amazing individuals you and Joy have become. I have loved you with all of my heart, even during our differences.”

Is this something like what that young father told his son? I will never know. I would say this and more with my own.

Another Year, Another Time!

Mother’s Day month brings a mix of emotions for me. On one hand, there’s a beautiful sweetness in remembering all the strong, compassionate women who dedicated their lives, careers, and happiness to their families. These incredible heroines found the strength to raise their children, often on their own, while always supporting and encouraging their young minds. On the other hand, it’s bittersweet for those of us who have lost our mothers; we cherish the moments we shared, yet we miss the chance to discuss our failures and achievements and hear their voices once more. 

Since 2016, May has been a particularly difficult month for me, marked by the loss of many dear friends and family members. When I glance at my phone’s calendar, I’m reminded of how closely their birthdays and transitions are intertwined, with just a few days in between. It’s a poignant reminder of the love and memories we share. I miss them dearly.

I experienced another episode like what happened in 2023 when I blacked out from severe dehydration at the graveyard. This time, I overdid it, pressure washing our patio deck in 90-degree weather, and started to feel lightheaded. By the time I thought I needed a drink of water, it was already too late. I made it inside the house, sat down on the floor, and asked my wife to bring me a bottle of water. She came right away, unbuttoned my shirt, loosened my belt, took off my cap, and called 911. The difference this time from last was that I didn’t completely black out. However, I couldn’t see, and my vision went dark, but I could hear everything around me.

I didn’t want EMS, but my wife didn’t take any chances. She told me to stay seated. While I waited, she prayed for me. I boast about a praying woman. Their prayers are strong and sincere. I thought about not finishing the deck and told her. She said that the deck is not worth my life. Then, I thought about being an addition to my May calendar. I didn’t want to be a part of that. But we don’t know the day, time, or hour when we are called. We can at least not do anything to speed up the process.

Take my advice: summer is coming, and those temperatures are going to rise! Let's make sure we stay hydrated by drinking plenty of water. Take good care of yourselves!

Stay Vigilant!

This morning, I had the extraordinary experience of hearing an 87-year-old English widow perform a piano concerto. The performance was a heartfelt tribute to her late husband, with whom she shared 63 beautiful years of marriage. She had always been an accomplished pianist, deeply passionate about music, while he found joy behind the lens as a skilled photographer. Both excelled in their respective arts but remained humble, often believing many others surpassed them.

Later in life, she discovered her talent for composing music, which added another layer to her artistic expression. Encouraged by her daughter, she decided to play at a local mall, unwittingly captivating an audience that included the renowned musician Jon Batiste. As the first chords filled the air, I noticed Jon’s face light up with recognition, his expression turning contemplative as he absorbed the profound emotion of her performance.

As I listened, I couldn't help but reflect on my journey. What does God have in store for me? What is my purpose? This connection through music sparked deep contemplation about my path and our unknown future.

One might ponder why I find myself contemplating my purpose at this stage of life. One significant factor behind this introspection is the recent discord between my wife and me. As she has taken a much-needed vacation, my household routines have been disrupted, creating an unsettling imbalance. She has been energetically rearranging, packing, and discarding items in the kitchen that haven’t seen the light of day in over a year. 

Accustomed to navigating the daily tasks of our home independently, my world has shifted since retirement. I manage our residence's interior and exterior upkeep while she dedicates herself to her professional endeavors. Yet, my domestic responsibilities come with restrictions that leave me feeling constrained. For instance, cleaning the bathrooms has been designated her domain; she believes my efforts in that area fall short of her standards. This division of labor has altered our routines and prompted me to reflect on the nature of my role in the home and our partnership.

Our friction stemmed from a profound misalignment in our perspectives and priorities. That evening, just before the dimming of the sky signaled prayer time, we found ourselves seated across from each other, the air thick with unspoken words. The tension gradually faded as we discussed our actions, revealing the raw vulnerabilities beneath. We took turns admitting our faults—moments where our pride had overshadowed our judgment, and instances where our words had cut deeper than intended. 

With honesty, we expressed our emotions; fear, frustration, and regret hung heavily between us. We acknowledged that our responses could have been more measured, that instead of responding with defensiveness, we could have approached each other with empathy and understanding. As the light faded outside, it became clear that our emotions had taken the reins, leading us away from constructive dialogue. Together, we committed to embracing a more patient and compassionate approach moving forward, recognizing that open communication was the key to mending our misalignment.

We must remain ever vigilant against the subtle tactics of the devil. He is constantly looking for vulnerabilities in our lives, seeking to exploit any weaknesses he can find. His greatest weapon is distraction, distracting us from the good and serene aspects of our existence. We might discuss this endlessly, passionately dissecting his methods. Yet, all too often, we slip into his traps, oblivious to the folly of our actions—until the moment comes when we are forced to confront the truth of our naivety. In these moments of revelation, the shadows of our ignorance are cast into the light. Do I mean it when I say, “I repent?” Then why do I do the same thing again? Haven’t I learned anything? I may have failed, but I will continue to push forward. We all must persevere in our efforts.

Some People Build and Some Tear Down!

One man meticulously constructs any structure, pouring his ideas and efforts into every brick and beam. In contrast, another man comes along and dismantles what has been built, erasing the hard work of the first. However, there are exceptions to this simple dichotomy: one individual may build upon the solid foundation laid by another, adding layers of complexity and innovation to the original design. Additionally, a visionary may gather diverse individuals, encouraging them to share their unique perspectives and ideas, extending and enriching the building process. This collaborative approach enhances the original creation and fosters a sense of community and shared purpose, transforming the building into a collective journey of creativity and growth.

At times, change is ignited by a single individual, while other moments see a collective of two or more collaborators, all united by a shared vision. Their motivations often transcend mere financial gain; instead, they may be driven by a deep-seated obligation to uplift others meaningfully. This endeavor could be rooted in a desire to forge a legacy that they hope will inspire and empower future generations to carry it forward.

Throughout life, individuals will inevitably prefer to dismantle rather than create. These people often possess a perspective that emphasizes negativity, homing in on the flaws and failures around them. For them, expressing discontent seems to be the simplest, most accessible form of rebellion—a way to defy the status quo by highlighting the futility they perceive in efforts to improve or uplift.

Now, more than ever, individuals across various platforms persistently try to deceive, misinform, and deny their troubling behaviors and thought processes. Whether through social media, news articles, or public speeches, many are twisting facts and presenting misleading narratives to protect their interests. This culture of denial reflects a lack of accountability and contributes to a broader decline in trust and civility in discourse. As misinformation spreads, the implications for society become increasingly dire, undermining our ability to tackle pressing issues with honesty and integrity. It’s alarming how many people readily accept everything they encounter online without questioning its validity.

The reckoning that awaits us is a universal truth, one that intimate and distant observers alike can sense for those who seek the chance to repent and amend their ways, rest assured that such an opportunity will present itself. Therefore, my earnest counsel is simple: do not procrastinate until it is too late to act. 

Throughout our journeys, we have all been alerted to the subtle and profound signs around us through dreams that linger in the mind, moments of heightened awareness, and the deep stirrings of our consciousness. We stand at a crossroads; we can choose to dismiss these messages, allowing them to fade into the background of our busy lives, or we can embrace them, recognizing the call to transformation and redemption. 

Turning away from our harmful actions and inclinations is not just advisable but essential. We can reforge our path by consciously shifting our focus towards God and the higher principles of love, compassion, and understanding. Ultimately, the choice remains in our hands. It's a decision laden with weight and consequence that can shape our destinies and the world around us.