Grandparents Appreciation Moment!

            People show appreciation to your grandmothers, grandfathers, great-grandmothers, great grandfathers.  They are the unappreciated, silent heroes and heroines that are taken for granted for simply being who they are.  We salute you and thank you!  Those still living kings and queens, thank you for helping keep our villages together.  It doesn’t matter the color, culture, or creed.  They stepped in and cared for the children when no one else would, closed the loops on what wasn’t taught, and passed on to the children their wisdom and experience.

 

            Grandparents, as a whole, saw the world much differently than we did.  Of course, times were different.  Technology and the environment were different, but the outcome of the various cultures and the treatment of people is still about the same: wisdom.  Our grandparents saw the world through clear glasses, learned from their experiences, and still thrived in the midst of it all.  Now that they are much older, they share those experiences with their grandchildren.  Grandfathers worked their hearts out to build a decent life for their families back then, and many died without reaping the benefits.  Women have always been the family's heart, but they can’t do it alone.  It takes a family to stand together.

 

            It’s no secret that several caring grandparents opened their once-empty homes to their returning children.  I can relate to looking forward to the children leaving home once they’re grown.  There’s a surreal stillness and silence once they’re gone; one can say that they miss the noise and action.  When the grands started visiting and getting into mischief, they reminded us of their fathers or mothers who grew up in the home.  Single grandparents who are alone welcome back the sound and busyness, mainly because the other spouse isn’t there to share laughter together anymore.

 

            I don’t need to stray too far; the fact is, grandparents leave positive, lasting impressions on their grandchildren more than they realize.  Most of the time, they only see it in their children.  Children and grandchildren should feel blessed that they have them in their lives.  Appreciate your grandparents more, people.  They may not always get it right, but they are all you got.  They can be great baby-sitters, too, if you treat them right.

Blessed Be The Widows And Vulnerable!

I visited my 101-year-old godmother the other day.  When I saw her, I had to hold back my tears.  She had called me a few days ago that she had fallen asleep in the table chair and fell onto the floor.  She didn’t call for help and felt all right as long as she could move her legs.  She did call her one of her granddaughters, who came over immediately.  She wanted to take the petit, fragile centenarian to the hospital, who said she didn’t need to go.  My godmother is an old-school woman who worked hard all of her life and dealt with all types of challenges during her lifetime.  She could handle it.  She enjoyed being on her own.  Sometimes, we could use some help, and none of us are young anymore.  

 

She had fallen on her face with her glasses on.  There were big, dark bruises all over her small face.  One prominent bruise was on her forehead, another on the right side of her face, and you could see the imprint from the bridge of her glasses over her nose.  I could only imagine her facial appearance a day later.  Yet, my godmother was in great spirits even though the rest of us were deeply concerned.  I got emotional when she said, “First, we start falling, and then we die.”  I never cared for hearing that statement and others from the elderly.  I knew that they were serious when they said things like that.

 

What was determined by all medical experts was that my godmother had blacked out from bending down too low to clean coffee and other stains from the floor using a little amount of bleach.  She got up too fast.  I’m picturing a 101-year-old cleaning the carpet and inhaling a powerful irritant, using much energy, then immediately sitting down from being tired.  Thinking that she had fallen asleep because she was tired, she passed out from the blood flow as her head was lower than her heart and rising too quickly.  The same thing had happened to me months ago, except I “woke” up in a wheelchair at a hospital and underwent wires, IVs, and blood tests.  I ended up wearing a heart monitor for two weeks.  My diagnosis was severe dehydration.  That’s another story.

 

My godmother is very independent.  She'll do it herself if someone doesn’t notice what needs to be done around her.  Well, she’ll try to.  We could do those things when we were younger.  The granddaughters and her son offered her to stay with one of them, which she declined.  She likes to come and go whenever she wants to and enjoys doing things for herself.  Like most seniors, including myself, we don’t want to be a burden.  As long as we can do for ourselves, let us be; we’ll let you know when we need help.  As we age, we realize the end time is coming; it’s inevitable.  Living in our circumstances has taught us how to adapt, positively or negatively.  We learned from our parents and those before us that good times and challenging times exist.  What we do with those times is up to us to learn from them.  My mother, grandmother, and godmother exhibited what it takes to survive.  They all told me they wouldn’t be around forever, and neither will I.  We are in this world for a short time.

 

I’ve always tried to push people away because I didn’t want to miss them or be missed.  It was an error in my judgment.  Some people care and don’t have any other motive but to share that love with you.  No matter how old we get, we will have broken hearts and regrets, but it’s never too late to accept love.  I guess, eventually, we have to let the barriers down and give love a try.  Make peace with those you care about; time waits for no one.

Do Your Best To Be Prepared!

We can only partially prepare ourselves for specific situations, even knowing their inevitability. We have all encountered such circumstances, such as when a beloved family member must move from the hospital to hospice care, when a dear friend or family member is diagnosed with a terminal illness, or even when we visit specialists like urologists, proctologists, or dentists. Although there are certainly more unpleasant professions than dentistry, the sound of the buzzing instruments, the smell of burning flesh, and the sensation of scraping and pulling can be mentally taxing for the patient.  It matters considerably when you have to return for a follow-up and or fitting.  Don’t wait until we’re too old to regret what we placed on our bodies and souls.  Such is the life of not caring for one’s health and teeth.  Live wisely, my brothers and sisters.

I Am A Rock!

I had a unique dream the other night, most of them I can’t remember, but I remembered this one.  My dreams aren’t usually nightmares unless I had eaten beef that afternoon.  However, this dream made me feel that the universe was trying to tell me something.  A large rock was the main focus.  It was rounded around the edges but very smooth.  The rock appeared to weigh about 40-50 pounds and was translucent.  It never got in my way wherever I went, but it was always there no matter where I went.  The rock was always where I could see it; it stood out but seemed acceptable wherever it was.  It seemed to move on its own accord.  Whenever I came across the rock, I felt confident, safe, and protected.

 

When I woke up, I felt refreshed but was curious about this dream.  The rock didn’t play any significant part; it seemed to let me know that it will always be where I am.  I don’t remember any critical events, or anything else about the dream, other than the rock being everywhere I went.  I have some spiritual thoughts about Jesus being a cornerstone, Peter being appointed the rock that Jesus will build His church on, and men making their houses on solid rock, but finding a connection is still complicated.  I know that Jesus is my rock and refuge and that He will always be with me, but dreaming about a rock.  What does it mean?  I’m sure something meaningful is behind it, even if I may never understand.

Woke Is Not A Joke!

Believe it or not, the words “Stay Woke” were used by blues singer Huddie “Lead Belly” Ledbetter back in 1938 in a recording of the “Scottsboro Boys.”  It told the story of nine young black men, ages 12-19, falsely accused of raping two white women on a train in Alabama in 1931.  The men were not executed but were jailed for years.  Even after their release, they never fully recovered from the mistreatment.  The evidence unquestionably proved their innocence, but it didn’t matter.  Collectively, they spent over 130 years in jail.  The appeal trials lasted over 80 years when the women finally recanted their previous stories that they were never raped, and the story was made up from being arrested for vagrancy.  No forensics or other evidence were considered other than the white women’s words over the black men.  What did you expect in the 30s? It doesn’t look too different from now.  Politicians and the justice system are still lying about the truth.  Now Governor Ron DeSantis Campaign Slogan for President is “Our Great American Comeback Never Back Down.”  It sounds like a takeoff from Trump’s MAGA; bring back the old way of mistreating people, and we can rule in tyranny again.

 

            As you can see, “Stay Woke” or “Woke is nothing new; it’s an awareness of being attentive to the critical fact and issues regarding racial and social injustices.  It’s for people to stay awake during these times when they are trying to cover up past misdeeds and claiming that those things didn’t happen or were done by others that should be forgotten. We don’t want anything to let our kids know the truth, for they might be blamed for their parent's sins and woke returned during the Black Lives Matter movement, which brought attention to the killing of young black men by the police and fake vigilantes under the disguise of being patriots.  It seems all the red states are finding ways to use the law to suppress voting registration, redistricting, and excluding people of color from participating in government and education.  It seems that rewriting history and banning any account from days gone by should be stricken or not even taught in schools.

 

            The Supreme Court verified that systemic racism exists by ending Affirmative Action.  What I found about this disastrous move was that Judge Thomas, a recipient of Affirmative Action, decided because of his toll and guilt.  He has obtained his dream and let the others find their way in education.  Justice is not and cannot be colorblind.  To me, this system was built to protect its own, and those who are privileged will do anything possible to protect it.  Laws are wrapped within hidden laws that enable the users.  Yet, their truth is also their falsehood, so they campaign to reject anyone who can it.  We’re not the only ones who see it; God also sees it.  Vengeance is His, and those of us that believe in Him have the faith to know that the wicked will be exposed.  When we put our trust in man, we will be very disappointed.  Even amid this chaos, there is an opportunity.  Let’s all be calm in the middle of another storm and watch the Lord fight our battles.

 

            There will be a time when there are no more excuses, and we will have to face the fact that we are all liars.  The time will be unexpected when we feel all is well.  In our unrepentant life, we will feel a burden that the living cannot lift.  The guilt we denied to ourselves has accumulated over the years, lusting for money, power, and authority regardless of the costs we paid.  It will be too late for any regrets because it will follow us to the grave.  How will we want to be remembered?  It will depend on who is writing the history.  Will the story be objective or biased?  We can only hope that it is truthful.

Not By Proxy, Go To The Source!

            Sometimes, conflicts can arise within families, even on days when everything seems to be going well. For instance, a sibling may share unsubstantiated rumors that can quickly ruin your good mood, leaving you feeling frustrated and curious about the source of the information. This situation can put you on edge, making you cautious about showing too much joy around others. Unfortunately, there are always those who seek to cause trouble and distract people from enjoying their day. Currently, dividing families seems to be a top priority for these troublemakers.  Nevertheless, we should pray to have the discernment and wisdom to know that a house that is divided, will fall.  Life is too short and we tend to wait until things cool off and go away but life doesn’t always go our way.  Many times, it’s too late and we didn’t get the chance to apologize.

 

Strife can arise from unexpected sources, including family, friends, and co-workers. Even minor issues can quickly escalate, causing emotional turmoil. It's especially difficult when those closest to us misunderstand or jump to conclusions without seeking clarification from the source of the confusion. Some of us struggle with admitting fault or appearing vulnerable, which only allows negative emotions to fester and can lead to lifelong grudges. However, it's important to consider whether a simple conversation could resolve the misunderstanding before it's too late. Let's not allow pride and stubbornness to stand in the way of reconciliation. It's possible that the confusion stemmed from hearsay and could be easily cleared up with open communication.

 

I prefer to ask questions rather than make assumptions. I believe in keeping things simple. If I have done all that I can and the other party is unwilling to compromise, I move on without feeling like I wasted any energy. It only becomes a waste of energy if I keep trying to convince someone who is unwavering in their beliefs. I personally ask the questions myself instead of sending someone else to do it for me. I believe a third party could potentially miss important details that could help clear up any misunderstandings. That's why I ask questions when necessary.

 

It's common for family disagreements to spread to other households and even the larger community, causing division and seeking allies. However, it's important to stay calm and find a peaceful resolution to avoid a bad situation. Though it's easier said than done, it's important to learn from experience and realize that negative emotions can drain our energy and shorten our time. We all have value and meaning, and it's difficult to make clear decisions when we're in a heightened state. We are stronger united, not divided.

Love is!

Love is a versatile word that can function as an adjective, adverb, verb, or noun. It embodies various forms of emotions and intangible qualities such as empathy, faithful, honesty, kindness, trust, and compassion. Love is hard to define and express in words, as it can mean different things to different people. It is a forgiving, patient, merciful, graceful, accepting, joyful, and peaceful feeling that fills the heart of those who experience it. Those who have experienced it can testify to its transformative power, while those who haven't may not fully understand it. Love is God, who is the source of all love. In times of difficulty, God can help us overcome our challenges and lead us to a more fulfilling life. However, it is important to note that love starts from within ourselves, and we must love ourselves before we can love others.  If anything, my situation was due to a lack of love.  I didn’t love myself; I didn’t fool myself into thinking I could see it in anyone.  What would I expect to find?  

 

In my childhood, my family was affectionate and caring, and we were not shy about expressing our love for one another. However, after our parents' divorce, my siblings and I lost faith in love. We began to view love and life as fleeting and temporary, and we became wary of giving ourselves to others. We witnessed our mother's struggles, and despite her forgiving nature, she could not shield us from the harsh realities of the world. She always reminded us of her love and desire for our well-being but also cautioned us against disobedience. As young black men, we knew that the world could be unforgiving, and that little had changed even though we were growing up in the 50s and 60s.

 

Love was a unicorn to me, a mythical creature that someone might see once in a lifetime, but not everyone will see it.  I even had a woman who told me that she never grew up with love in her home, and that’s her reason for not being loving.  I wasn’t searching for it, it showed up one day in the form of a petite, spiritual woman who wanted me to pass kindness forward.  I was leaving my 91-year-old godmother’s apartment at the time and this small, slender, young woman was holding the elevator for me.  I said thanks, but I’ll take the stairs.  I didn’t want to be accused of anything since there wasn’t anyone else but us.  She said okay but the elevator was fast and she was downstairs by the door, which she was holding.  I mentioned that she was very kind, holding the elevator, and now the door.  She said that I should do kind acts for others, and pay it forward.  After 10 years of being married to that sweet, young thing, I truly feel what love is about.  Yes, she’s still spiritual and I have become the same.  My perspective of love has deepened because of it.  I see God in her and she sees God in everyone.  I’m a complicated person, I don’t want many friends and I’m comfortable being alone.  But since she has been in my life, it’s hard for me not to have her around me at all times.  She has been my counselor, caregiver, confidante, accountant, and lifesaver.  She was undoubtedly a divine gift.  I’m not boasting, I’m grateful.  I’ve been used and played.  But, every now and then, we get blessed more than we can imagine.