Sometimes, we tend to find excuses for the things that don't work out for us. We tend to blame others instead of taking responsibility for our actions, which only elevates the excuses. This behavior also applies to standing up for what is right. We often remain silent and wait for someone else to take the initiative instead of holding ourselves accountable. "What's your excuse, now?" is about empowering ourselves to make choices that will help us feel comfortable and confident in our skin.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Humility
Today was an interesting day. It was a media kick-off campaign for Sober or Slammer for Labor Day at our state fairgrounds. We had few highway safety dignitaries present such as the Director of SC Truckers Association, the Colonels of Highway Patrol, State Transport Police and Department of Natural Resources. We also had the state director of Federal Motor Carriers and a representative from the Department of Transportation from Atlanta, too! Our own Public Safety Director, Deputy & Assistant Director of the Office of Highway Safety was on hand to meet and greet. There was also a good representation of law enforcement there to show support for this great cause. It might not be for those arrested for DUI, but it will definitely help to keep them and others safe on the roadways. Finally, we had our state governor to drop by to say a few words! Yes, he made time for us. Don’t worry I’m going somewhere with this. One, you drink and drive, you will get caught and go to jail. When after everything is said and done, it will cost you more than you think. Two, these are the most humble group of individuals you will ever meet. From the Feds on down, we had some casual and off the wall conversations. Yes, we had just plain and simple talk with regular men and women who worked hard and earned positions to lead and help others. After the event was over, the colonel of HP, a LT, and me went to a local eatery and had lunch. These were just down-to-earth guys, who put in the years and time in patrol and got recognized by somebody that they can get the job done! But, what has humility go to do with this? Ask the question, how can you be a leader if you’re not willing to follow? How can you make decisions that will affect your command, your staff, and your co-workers if you’re not willing to listen to silent cries for help and direction? At the same time, you must be strong enough to make decisions that will not always be accepted by your subordinates but have the common sense to make those necessary changes. But, let’s not forget anyone that works in law enforcement. They are public servants who are underpaid, work in a thankless job, and risk their lives every day, but doing it because they want to make a difference. These men and women deal with surprises everyday! If you had to meet them up close and personal, don’t take it personally. They are working and doing their best to keep you and others safe. So next time if you see them in line somewhere, tell them thanks for the great job they are doing! I know the DPS Staff won’t keep them employed if they don’t!
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Thoughts
Have you ever felt that you have so much to say, but don’t? Knowing that you have so much on your mind and want to share your thoughts with someone, anyone. But, who would even care to hear the organized madness of a sane, but irrational man? Haven’t you felt the need to be honest but was afraid of being misunderstood? Sometimes being honest could cause more problems than its worth? More than anything you hate to be responsible for future problems and misunderstandings. But that’s what too much love can do. I will always believe that you can love too hard that it can cause unbearable pain. It can cloud your judgment. It doesn’t matter what stage in the relationship you’re in, starting, married, ending, or divorcing, or dying, there will always be a part of you left behind. Because in all of actuality, love is temporary. No one starts with a conclusion that this love won’t last. But somewhere, somehow, something is seriously wrong with our society. It is accepted to have extramarital relationships from the outside, people who are always willing to forgive. How about the people involved? Loss of trust, betrayal, and denials. What about the wife who finds out the man she loved, the father of her children, the guy she wanted to spend the rest of her life with, is more than just her lover? He’s also the lover of many other women, who quite possibly, might bring more than the other woman home but STDs, too! There are documented cases where women have left their men over more rivial matters than adultery, abuse, financial and other serious cases. They have left their men over snoring, not putting their clothes in the laundry hamper, even not taking care of regular household duties. I’m not excusing women on this. Some of you are no better! So, "For Better or Worse" is just a statement. Is it a belief to be taken seriously. What happened to that person that you fell in love with? This is not the movies we see that have happy endings. To me, that’s why God and faith play a major role in my life. The devil does his best to turn cracks into valleys. Anything to take away your joy, which is also your strength!
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Crack In My Windshield
Picture yourself driving along the interstate minding your own business, keeping an eye out for careless drivers, speeders, and tailgaters. You’re buckled in, not texting, and not on the cell phone. The tractor trailer in front of you kicked up some small gravel and it hits your windshield. It didn’t break it, but the sound got your attention. In fact, you heard it hit but don’t know where it. You soon forget about it and don’t think anymore about it. A couple of weeks later, while cleaning your car and windows, you notice a small crack on the passenger side in the lower right hand corner. You remembered when it happened and hope that the crack won’t get any larger. Since we don’t have car inspections in this state, you continue to drive regardless how big that crack isbecoming. It’s now unsafe to drive but you’re willing to take the risk. Hopefully, you don’t hurt yourself or any of your passengers if the windshield breaks.
When we’re hurt emotionally by someone or ourselves, we let the cracks grow until it’s unsafe for us. We know that it will have a negative effect on us but we continue. We just pack it up and carry it with us to the next person. Either we get it fixed, face the facts that something is very wrong, or find somebody we can talk to who knows how to care of the "cracks in our windshields."
When we’re hurt emotionally by someone or ourselves, we let the cracks grow until it’s unsafe for us. We know that it will have a negative effect on us but we continue. We just pack it up and carry it with us to the next person. Either we get it fixed, face the facts that something is very wrong, or find somebody we can talk to who knows how to care of the "cracks in our windshields."
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
The Two Wolves
One evening a wise, old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, "My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all.
"One is Evil - It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.
"The other is Good - It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his Grandfather: "Which wolf wins?"
The wise, old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."
"One is Evil - It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.
"The other is Good - It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his Grandfather: "Which wolf wins?"
The wise, old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."
This email is circulating the internet. I thought it was appropriate to our discussion. Which wolf do we feed? One will grow in size and strength to overpower the other. I hope you make the right choice. Either one will affect the outcome of a relationship.
Monday, August 10, 2009
The Onion Test
Let’s do the onion test. You must be honest, truthful and candid with yourself. This is a test that only you and you only need to know. I believe we all are all like the onion with its many layers. We have many personalities, idiosyncrasies, moods, and characters. Unfortunately, a lot of us have some pains inside of us that make us unhappy. We refuse to accept these weaknesses or simply ignore them. So we hide them and concentrate on other people’s weaknesses. We do our best to make others unhappy, too. Are you starting to cut through your layers? Don’t dwell on the negatives, confront them, work on them, and change them. This will take time and should exercise a great deal of patience, tolerance, and understanding towards others. We are not perfect, but there is always room for improvement. Before we start finding the wrongs in others, let’s look at our own personal challenges. Take a real good look at yourself. How would you like to be treated? Do you treat others with respect and dignity? Or do you judge by first impressions? By how the person looks? What they say? Material gains? Maybe, their attitude? Could there be something else associated with it, like jealousy? Are you selfish? Self-centered? Moody? Quick-tempered? Insecure? Afraid? Arrogant? Tempermental? Doubtful? Only you will know when you cut through the layers and face yourself. Now when you recognized your faults and start to work on them, see if others will notice a difference in you. Don’t give up on yourself, even if others already have. Trudge through this journey we call life. We all have something to contribute. Don’t measure by the quantity, but the quality! Remember, the widow's mite? You may not have much but you still got a lot to give!
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Issues
We all have issues and problems of some kind. Look around you! Your co-workers that are laughing and joking with you might be having some type of problem(s) that are going on in their lives. Some serious, some not so serious but enough for concern. Look at your family members. Are we doing all that we can to be happy with each other? Are we treating them like we want to be treated? Can our friends really trust us enough to keep confidential information? Can we trust them? We all have got to learn how to be more patient and understanding towards each other.
I had a long talk with a fellow co-worker, who I consider one of the most compassionate and honest person I met on this life’s journey. I'm not excluding my other co-workers, I work with some great-loving people! In our discussion, she expressed deep concerns over the state of the world’s social consciousness. She just can’t understand why some people have a problem discussing their differences peacefully and civilly. And why would some of us hate each other so much that we would rather destroy each other than help each other. We all want a better world for our children, grandchildren and ourselves to live in. Change is like faith, it starts small but grows to a size we can not fathom! Who knows? Keep the faith, baby!
I had a long talk with a fellow co-worker, who I consider one of the most compassionate and honest person I met on this life’s journey. I'm not excluding my other co-workers, I work with some great-loving people! In our discussion, she expressed deep concerns over the state of the world’s social consciousness. She just can’t understand why some people have a problem discussing their differences peacefully and civilly. And why would some of us hate each other so much that we would rather destroy each other than help each other. We all want a better world for our children, grandchildren and ourselves to live in. Change is like faith, it starts small but grows to a size we can not fathom! Who knows? Keep the faith, baby!
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