Hello, Heavenly Father, please help me. I am undergoing what you already know is a significant problem regarding my family. Today is Pentecost Sunday, May 19th, my mother-in-law. She has been here for about a week, minus a few days in the hospital. My wife Sandy has been tending to her day and night, watching over her. You already know that. I need to speak to someone, but you are the Divine Counselor. I learned on Pentecost Sunday that the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit are wisdom, understanding, counsel, fortitude, knowledge, piety, and fear of God. The fruits of the Holy Spirit are charity, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, generosity, gentleness, faithfulness, modesty, self-control, and chastity. Holy Father, I am grateful to have learned these gifts promptly. But you already know that my current problem is finding understanding and counsel. They seem to clash with my self-control and patience when they involve Sandy.
I know it's a lot of the stress from her job that is giving her so much anxiety and depression. The blame is also on me. I haven’t helped much this past week with my own complaining and pointing fingers. I do feel better now that her mother had stent surgery. We finally got to the source of her pains, heart palpitations. I know I've told Sandy so many times about enabling her mom. This time, it got the best of me. I was very frustrated, fixated, and angry. I thought my wife was being taken advantage of. Lord, you know I need somebody to talk to.
I believe her mother heard me discussing this concern because Sandy was supposed to take her home on Monday. We should have done it Saturday, but Sandy said no, her mom wasn’t looking any better. Her mom decided to go home on Sunday. Both are picky eaters, and they need food for strength. None of them have eaten a decent breakfast these days; they feel they don’t need breakfast. You have been telling me for a while now that having a solid breakfast is good because you never know what an emergency can be. And we won't have time to eat. They have gotten into that habit but don't see it that way. You got me through this, Lord. You were here with me the whole time. Friday morning, I had to take Sandy to the emergency room for her heart palpitations. After so many tests and blood draws, she was diagnosed with Pericarditis. Something about some of the skin flaps around the heart had swollen and got infected. Sandy wasn't healthy enough to help anyone, and both needed recovery time. And there was no one else that Sandy felt that she could call, not even her mother's sister.
I want to thank you, Father, that while we were at the hospital, you cared for her mother by herself here in the house. I'm glad I did go when you sent me with her to the emergency room because even though we spent six hours at the hospital, Sandy did not eat or drink any liquids. After all that time, the doctor gave her some oxycodone and some Motrin on an empty stomach. Sandy wouldn't have been able to drive herself home. Anyway, I give you all the thanks, O Heavenly Father. I want to thank you now. Even though Sandy said she changed her mind and would take her mother home Monday, her mom wanted to leave Sunday.
In a way, I feel bad, but Father, I thank you. Because you answered my request for counsel, wisdom, and understanding. I am to trust in you in all things. You are in control. Sandy was going to try to take her after a workday. They're not breakfast eaters, so Sandy's mother might have heard when I said, Baby, you can't even take care of yourself, and now you're trying to take care of your mom. She expects you to do this and do that for her. I'm clashing between wisdom and understanding again with a need for self-control of my tongue and patience. Father, I don't feel wrong about what I said. Sandy needs to take care of herself, whether mom heard me or not. I know you give us all these challenges, and the main thing is that you want us to lean on you and Father, thank you for letting me lean on you this Friday. I was lost. I wanted to call somebody. I wanted to release all this frustration; I could not hold this in. I know Sandy loves her mom, and I respect that, but the mom had done so much self-pitying that it seemed the only person who would pay her any attention was Sandy. I would do the same for my mom. Am I that selfish?
Sandy will stop whatever she is doing, take her to the doctor or hospital, and sit with her all day. I told Sandy before all this occurred that 75% of her stress, anxiety, and weight loss is due to her job, 12% is due to her mother, and another 13% is me. My self-control and mouth clash with patience because I can't hold it in. Forgive me, Lord; I need your counsel and wisdom. Thank you for letting me have this conversation with you, Father. You know my weaknesses and my flaws. You are always listening to me. I feel guilty because her mother is serious this time.
Sandy drops everything when she calls, and it sounds like the little boy who called Wolf. Now that this woman truly needs her, I don't have any sensitivity or sympathy for her mom. I do now, but I'm more sympathetic to Sandy because of what she's going through now. She once said she wanted to rest today but didn't get any rest. I am grateful to you for being our father. Whether her mother heard me or not, or whether she decided to stand on her own, she made the right decision to begin her healing process. I hope Sandy doesn't come home worried because she will have plenty of space to rest, relax, and meditate on you. After all, it's hard to face Monday “fires” after she was off on Friday for the past couple of days to return to her job, and you know it will be all kinds of emails. There will be missed calls and pressure on this and pressure from that, and it's already stressful enough that she would need at least a night of relaxation. I need to be thinking about having her something to eat in the mornings. She needs the strength to go through all this. I must repeat these seven gifts of the Holy Spirit because I need them. I need them. Wisdom, Oh Lord, you know I need that with understanding. There's so much that comes under understanding. To me, sympathy and empathy are just being sensitive.
The Holy Spirit is the divine counsel we need to fortify my strength in you. Lord, knowledge, and holiness, I understand that I must always be Christ-like, remembering that you give and take away everything in Sandy and me. Out of respect and reverence, we should fear You. You knew us before we were born. Do I listen to or pay attention to the fruits: charity, joy, peace, and patience? Charity is love, but that's giving. There is generosity, goodness, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness, and trust in you, Heavenly Father. Modesty, being humble and self-control who runs their mouth discipline and chastity, but Father, I thank you. God, I thank you. I thank you for the lessons you're teaching us and the lessons we're learning. Thank you, because you have helped me, and it is a relief. I know Sandy will be at her mom’s house for hours. Her mom's going to stay temporarily downstairs. Sandy will make everything accessible for her. How many people are blessed to have a child like that? That will take care of her even though her brother, her brother's baby Mama, and her aunt won’t. It seems they don't care for her except to avoid each other. She doesn’t need to babysit. She's legally blind. Her mother also needs to be around people, I think to me, the other problem is loneliness. Whether she wants to or not mingle with others, I think it’s essential. Father, I thank you for the moments that you've given me with you and Sally, and I appreciate it. Please help me with my self-control. Trying to tame this tongue of mine is going to be tough. I thank you for your grace and blessings, Lord. I submit my petitions to you with praise and thanksgiving in Jesus’s name. Amen.
Note: My friend was hurting that day. He’s doing much better after accepting the things he cannot change and reconciling with himself. He said not with his mother-in-law but reconciling with God and himself. He also wanted me to share his thoughts on this blog. I have his permission to do this.
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