I'm Back

I'm back! We had a major change in our lives for 2008 in March. Our mother expired unexpectedly, the day after Easter, and it sent us for a loop. Talk about relationships! There is nothing like a mother's love, it's unconditional. I don't even know how to begin on this subject. We all wonder what we would do when we would lose a parent or a loved one. Well, to me, it's worse than you think. There are so many questions, thoughts and wishes that you wanted to ask, do, and make that leaves you empty. Without God, some of us would be lost and/or crazy. All I can say for those people that have suffered lost, it is rough. I know that I'm going through episodes esp., in quiet moments when I think of happy moments. Our mom didn't suffer, but we truly miss her.

Button Pushing

Now that we are all clear on this, let’s move forward. We all know how some women like to push our buttons to see how far they can go and how much we can take. You’re not going to win the argument unless you are 150% sure that you are correct. And you’re still can’t be sure the outcome will be in your favor. None of us are perfect but some of us look for perfection in our mates. We can’t accept the fact that we are not perfect. This is a weakness that must be dealt with immediately. Hopefully, both of you are able to speak with maturity in this area. More importantly, if you both can come to terms and realize that love brought you together and honesty, trust and forgiveness will keep you, hold on! You both are blessed! Just don’t base the love for sex or good looks, in time, that will change. The tidal waves of contention will separate you without a thought. Don't regret your good thing! Keep in mind that the only thing that you will agree on that you will have disagreements.

More Resources on Abuse

MORE RESOURCES (The numbers and/or addresses might have changed but it is a start)
© Copyright 2005 American Psychiatric Association

American Psychiatric Association (APA) 703-907-7300
http://www.healthyminds.org/

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-SAFE (7233) or 800-787-3224 (TTY)
http://www.ndvh.org/

National Coalition Against Domestic Violence 303-839-1852
http://www.ncadv.org/

National Network to End Domestic Violence202-543-5566
http://www.nnedv.org/

The Family Violence Prevention Fund 415-252-8900
http://www.endabuse.org/

National Resource Center on Domestic Violence 800-537-2238
http://www.nrcdv.org/

The Battered Women’s Justice Project 800-903-0111
http://www.bwip.org/

The Domestic Violence and Mental Health Policy Initiative 312-726-7020
http://www.dvmhpi.org/

Rape Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN) 800-656-HOPE
http://www.rainn.org/

If You Are Abused

WHAT YOU CAN DO IF YOU ARE BEING ABUSED

While you cannot stop your partner’s abuse—only he or she can do that—you can find help and support for yourself.

• Talk with someone you trust: a friend or relative, a neighbor, coworker or religious or spiritual advisor.
• Tell your physician, nurse, psychiatrist or therapist about the abuse.
• Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline [1-800-799-SAFE (7233)], your state domestic violence coalition, and/or a local domestic violence agency.
• Call the police if you are in danger. Remember, you know your situation better than anyone else.
• Don’t let someone talk you into doing something that isn’t right for you.
  

Domestic Violence

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
© Copyright 2005 American Psychiatric Association

SOME EARLY SIGNS OF ABUSE:

• Quick whirlwind romance.
• Wanting to be with you all the time; tracking what you’re doing and who you’re with.
• Jealousy at any perceived attention to or from others.
• Attempts to isolate you in the guise of loving behavior.
• Hypersensitivity to perceived slights.
• Quick to blame others for the abuse Pressures you into doing things you aren’t comfortable with.

2004 Domestic Violence Facts

More facts on Domestic Violence in South Carolina. It's 2004 data, but that's all I cound find at this time. Hopefully, you'll get the message. If they don't want you, leave them alone.

• In 2004, 15,607 people reported being a victim of a domestic incident. (1)
• Females accounted for 82.8% of the reported victims and males accounted for 17.3% of the reported victims. (2)
• Of the reported domestic violence cases, 25.5% were incidences where the perpetrator used alcohol. (3)
• White victims accounted for 50.1% of reported cases and non-whites accounted for 49.9% of reported cases, however non-whites are 2.2% more likely to be victims than whites. (4)
• In 2004, 1,720 forcible rape case were reported. Of which 57% were white females and 41% black females. (5)
• Victims identified their perpetrator as either spouse or family member 59.4% of the time. (6)
• South Carolina ranks 6th nationally in the number of women killed by male intimate. (7)
• Of these cases, 28% of the victims were spouses of the perpetrator; 14% cohabited with the perpetrator; 6% dated the perpetrator. (7)
  
  Sources:
  (1),(2) South Carolina Attorney General’s Office
  (3),(4) South Carolina Department of Public Safety, 2004 Report on Domestic Violence
  (5),(6) Report from South Carolina State SLED
  (7) South Carolina Coalition Against Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault.

The irony is that some of these abused people were turned away from safe houses due to lack of space, while lost animals can find shelter. What are our priorities?

Don't Hurt Anybody

Let’s discuss this further. Mental, physical, verbal and any other abuse that you can think of is not worth it. Remember, at one point in your relationship you loved each other for whatever it was. You sacrificed for each other, you laughed and you cried and you made love with each other. This was the person you were willing to spend the rest of your life with. DO NOT HURT ANYONE! If they no longer want you, let go and leave! I understand the pain and hurt you might feel but man-up and show what you can do! Vengeance is success! So get off your lazy butt and show the world that you can move on, too! Don’t think of stalking, don’t think of calling and hanging up, no mental games, no word games and definitely no physical abuse displays. Man Up! Prove there is a life for you without her. Who knows, you might be one of the lucky ones that have a good woman that already believes in you and is the force behind you that can help you find your potential.