Friends?

I took a shortcut today through a residential community and passed a former co-worker’s home.  I noticed a For Sale sign on the front lawn and men working on the home. She had risen through the ranks and moved to bigger and better opportunities in DC.  We never became good friends but we have held a few serious conversations at one time or another. She passed away a few years ago from cancer. She was a wonderful person but some might disagree.

I mentioned this to say that the few people we do consider friends, we don’t tell them enough how we appreciate them. I, personally, have that problem. I've always questioned myself why I don’t let people get close to me. It’s not the hurt that I’m concerned about, we’ve all been hurt. My concern is the loss of someone in my life that I care about. It’s draining so I build my walls.  When people care about me, I am reluctant to reciprocate. So, it’s easier to distance myself. It may be selfish. While I’m avoiding being hurt, I end up hurting them. Yeah, I’m a piece of work.

So, I move on without any explanations and accept the blames against me. I’m getting better but tell that to the others that I have already offended. My sincere apologies.

Happy birthday, Mom!

Thank you, Lord, for the time you gave us!

The Refugee Question!

Pope Francis, this past week was in Washington, DC, where he spoke to Congress and the United Nations in New York on climate change and immigration. This weekend, he is heading to the city of Brotherly Love, Philadelphia, PA. He has been full tilt since he left Italy.

Let me say right now that the tales of refugees are being put in place right now. How, you might say? One group of politicians wants to shut down immigration and another want to keep the US doors open. Keeping the doors open comes with a price. Who are the doors being opened to? Who needs to be kept out? It could be to a lot of people who don't fit America's descriptions.

The tales spinning have begun. A conservative from upstate South Carolina stated on her FB page that, “According to the FBI, these refugees cannot be vetted. Refugee status means these people will be immediately entitled to a huge array of benefits … that our most vulnerable citizens, including women and children at risk, need.” I have heard already through various discussions that the refugees will not assimilate to the US but intend to change the US to a Muslim nation. True or false, only time will tell.

And the President will be still be blamed for all the bad things that happen.

h

Mission or Position?

Which is more important?

An Open Letter To My Baby Brother, 1954-2015!

March 2, 1954 - July 24, 2015

We got you back home, Austin. It’s been a challenging two weeks for us but even tougher for you and the years of suffering. You played it off with me as long as you could but the pain would not let you hide it any longer. I am so grateful that the children saw you in those last days. It wasn’t easy for them then and it definitely was not any better at your celebration. You have some beautiful children and I always thought you were so blessed to have them. You have a son that favors you and a daughter that favors her mother.  And a wife that is loyal and supportive. I found that so awesome! There is so much to be thankful for.

You would have been proud. Unity Mortuary conducted it with class and dignity. It was a fantastic tribute and the Colonel oversaw all of the details. I know, I have always called Melinda; Colonel. It was meant to respect for her rank. As you know, I am very proud of her for her military achievements and her soon to have doctorate. I never meant it to sound impersonal by not calling her Melinda. I enjoy calling her colonel. She provided the pictures for a slide show that included the family, you and mom. I saw a side of you that I never knew. I guess we both are private people and keep our feelings suppressed for fear of reprisals. I still have a tough time letting people in. I also know that we are both stubborn individuals. You never got a chance to meet April.

Devin and Melinda read some beautiful poems and Teria got up to stand beside Devin when he started to fill up with tears and struggled to go on. But he got it together. It was a beautiful tribute. Speaking of Teria, that young lady can truly sing. As you, mom and Nana look down on us with prayer, you will see her rise to fame. She has a lovely voice and that song she sang brought tears, shouts and thunderous clapping. It’s called “Hope You Can Dance.” Gladys Knight sang it in the “Family That Preys.” Lee Ann Womack sings it, too! Another song that stood out was “I Look To You” by Whitney.

Tia and your grands, Michale, Calim and I forgot the name of the oldest, made it. I had not seen her over 20+ years. I still recognized her as she, too, favors her mother. I told them all at the celebration that I will call them at least once a month to stay in better contact. I can’t be responsible for waiting to see our family during grieving situations. I need to also keep in touch when things are well. Our cousin Robert has always been that person. I mailed Aunts Babb and Dot the program.

It still hasn’t dawned on me that you and I can’t talk or disagree anymore. The movie “Kingdom Come” is on and I can’t help but think of us when we were kids and became adults. I am so grateful (blessed) that we reconciled last year but deep inside I am feeling the loss. When mom left, the world took on a different view, now there’s another view and it’s getting better how I view it. It’s hard for me to let go, Austin, it’s really tough. I couldn’t truly cry until 3 months after mom and I think it was a TV commercial that triggered it.

I have so much to talk about but even if you were around, I probably would not even think about it. I wonder why when people are gone from our lives we are ready to talk but not always knowing what to talk about?

The kids kept some of your ashes for their rings and bracelets. They spread the rest over the lake and Anderson. Jewelry that holds loved ones remains, never knew that. I’m getting old. I’m glad you’re back home, You will always be my baby brother, Austin. I love you!

The Flag is Down, July 10, 2015!

The Confederate Flag is Coming Down in South Carolina!

Yes, the law was passed after a long night of contentious discussion. For once a serious racial dialogue took place in the hallowed chambers of our state capital. The Civil War has been over but there were still some fighting. This battle was won between two opposing forces, heritage and pride, hate and fear, black and white, old and young and republican and democrat. It had to take the lost of innocent lives, specifically, nine, including one of their own to change the hearts and minds of the old guard. Amazingly, from the exact two three weeks of the Emanuel Nine deaths, the South Carolina legislature joined together to take down the Confederate Flag. To some it was a symbol of heritage but to many it was used as a symbol of fear and hate. The battle might have been won but the war will continue in the minds of many who will use excuses not to move forward but to remain in the past. A special thanks goes to the many who supported and orchestrated this historical change. God bless South Carolina and the United States!