Friends?

I took a shortcut today through a residential community and passed a former co-worker’s home.  I noticed a For Sale sign on the front lawn and men working on the home. She had risen through the ranks and moved to bigger and better opportunities in DC.  We never became good friends but we have held a few serious conversations at one time or another. She passed away a few years ago from cancer. She was a wonderful person but some might disagree.

I mentioned this to say that the few people we do consider friends, we don’t tell them enough how we appreciate them. I, personally, have that problem. I've always questioned myself why I don’t let people get close to me. It’s not the hurt that I’m concerned about, we’ve all been hurt. My concern is the loss of someone in my life that I care about. It’s draining so I build my walls.  When people care about me, I am reluctant to reciprocate. So, it’s easier to distance myself. It may be selfish. While I’m avoiding being hurt, I end up hurting them. Yeah, I’m a piece of work.

So, I move on without any explanations and accept the blames against me. I’m getting better but tell that to the others that I have already offended. My sincere apologies.