Strengthening My Relationship With God

I’ve been working on developing my relationship with God for years.  If I hadn’t, I don’t believe that I would have been able to cope with my mother’s transition from this world to the next and other heartbreaks that happened in my life.  I accept the fact that there are many people out here that do not even believe in God and some that have very little faith in Him.  I understand how some might feel that a good God would not allow bad things to happen, at least, to good people.  I can’t question that and I know that there is no one capable of predicting God’s ways.  (Isaiah 55:8-9). Developing a relationship with God is hard enough because the devil wants you think worldly, in the now.  He wants you to concentrate how people feel about you and what you need to do to impress them.  It’s not really complicated because we’re easily tempted and tricked.  We fall for materialism and great lifestyles without realizing that there is are hidden costs.  We’re only human, we just want nice things and to be accepted by others.  We get caught up looking for that elusive peace and satisfaction for fulfillment.  We were duped into thinking that it made us happy.  But we were never full, we wanted more.  I personally felt an emptiness, so I tried filling it with the wrong things.  They weren’t worth it.  I forgot that God has a purpose for me but in order to achieve it I would have to align my will with God’s Will.  I wasn’t strong enough and still am very weak dealing with the struggles of living.  That’s why I need to strengthen my relationship.  (Ephesians 6:12).  Doing the right thing is not easy and in some situations, it’s frowned upon.  I’m trying to get stronger by not only praying in the morning, during the day and at night, but also reading more inspirational materials, esp., the Word.  I’m still chained to my desires.  My mind goes into the what-if mode and now I’m thinking things that I shouldn’t.  Recently, I’ve started turning my radio off when I drive to work to have quiet time with the Lord.  It’s usually a twenty minute ride.  I start off okay, but after a few minutes dealing with the traffic, my focus is off my quiet time with God, and now on some of these nutty drivers.  That’s a book in itself discussing how people drive, but that’s not the point.  My point is this, the closer I want to be in God’s presence, the harder it gets.  I get to a point that I don’t think I’m worthy of His Divine love and mercy.  Some people know what I’m talking about.  If it wasn’t for His grace and mercy, I don’t know where I’ll be now.  Yet, I fall down struggling to get out of these chains.  I can see why God calls us all His children.  We act like kids.  One big problem is that when we become adults, we lose our trust in our protectors.  By getting back to God, I hope to find my trust.