My Personal Haiku

The grassy field of frosted dew reflected the moon’s rays like snow in the early morning.

Open Letter To God

God, I’m fighting depression real hard today! Life can be so confusing. One minute I’m on top and everything seems to be in control. The next second, all hell breaks loose. What are you expecting from me? What do you want me to do? My friends are suffering, families are suffering, I am suffering and it seems my prayers are not working. I don’t have enough money to cover all my debts, I don’t have enough love for peace and harmony, and I don’t have enough patience to wait for You to get me through. What is wrong with me? I thought I was trying to do your will. I admit, I haven’t been really pushing and I have slipped a lot more than expected, but does that mean you’re not going to help me? My co-workers are dealing with job security and other personal problems, my neighbor’s car seem to be breaking down every week. People are losing their family members to all kinds of sicknesses and cancers and names unknown to man. The holidays seem more stressful than ever and we don’t even have to get half the amount of gifts as before. The older I get, the more I hurt. I’m even getting sensitive. I got full when Lightening McQueen in CARS, rather than win the race, went back and pushed The King over the finish line when The King got knocked out of the race by Chick Hicks. I don’t know if it was the sacrifice Lightening made or the lesson he learned from Doc Hudson or the townspeople of Radiator Springs that made me misty eyed. I’m leaning towards being older as my excuse. This is nothing compared to the problems people are facing, God, and you know that I’m venting. Are you showing me that I don’t have any control with my life at all? You know that I can’t even read Footprints in its entirety any more. Why because I know that you have carried me all my life! I am grateful for your blessings but I would like to win the lottery to help my friends and family. I know I can’t win if I don’t play. Just talking to You have already made me feel better. It’s really true, I feel so much better now that I’ve given my burdens to You. Since I don’t have that kind of control, I might as well trust that You’ll be. It just gets hard sometimes, that’s all. Holidays just aren’t the same any more. But, I am grateful that you let me see them.

Memories Of You

What would you like to be remembered for? What do you think other people will remember about you? How would you really like to be remembered? These simple questions will need some honest, soul-searching answers. What you might like to be remembered as might be totally different than what others will remember you. Not that it would matter to you anyway, because you’ll be gone. Let’s go over some records, we were successful, we didn’t achieve what we wanted, we worked our fingers to the bone to get our business going, we gave up our family for our career. We gave up our career for our family, we were constantly complaining why we were in the situation that we were in, we were ungrateful when people were kind to us. We were obnoxious braggers that thought if we attended church on Sundays meant that we could act like jerks the rest of the week. We said we loved God but hated everyone we didn’t like or didn’t look like us. We turned our noses up at the homeless and less fortunate. We got ours, let them get theirs. We take our 5 senses for granted so much that we forget to thank God for the blessings he gives us everyday. Some of us would rather be remembered as cool, collected, shrewd business people who made a lot of money and achieved the status as such. Some one else will be using our status symbols after we’ve gone. Some of us want to be remembered as the smoothest operator this side of the planet. The list can go on & on with excuses and explanations. But did anyone notice that I didn’t mention being remembered as a God-fearing, peaceful, loving person? We are so conformed to this world that it’s all we think about impressing. Not speaking for everyone but are we so bound to impressing the people in this world than impressing God in the next? What have we become? We can fool the people that are not around us all of the time but those in our world know us as we truly are. Being Christ-like is not easy, but we shouldn’t give up. Yeah, we’re weak and imperfect, but we can get up and keep trying to be better every day! None of has the answers but if we really get into the Word (Bible), we can find them. I’ve been teased about trying to do the right thing and I don’t mind. It hurts though coming from the people you least expect. But separating yourself from this world isn’t easy. Don’t misunderstand me, I’m not a saint and I have my ways. But, I thank God that I can see what He needs me to see. Whether it’s good or bad, I face it with the expectation that if God brought me to it, He will see me through it. You might wonder how I would like to be remembered. In all of this mix, I already told you. This is one of the holiest of the seasons, let’s not forget the real reason why it is. Be patient and understanding to ! other. Pray for those that are with you this season and remember them who are not. I can’t tell you enough how I miss my mom. When all seemed against me, she was there for me. Merry Christmas!

Project Blue Light (For The Fallen In Uniform)

Martyrs & Heroes!

The past several days have been loaded with the media being excited and concerned about Tiger Woods single car crash early Saturday morning. You all know what I’m talking about! They wanted to get to the bottom of why Tiger left his home around 2:30 in the morning and why his wife was helping him out of his SUV with a golf club. They got a story about Tiger and his affair and the media wanted to know all the worse details! This is real news! What a shame! How many married couples have had or are having affairs? We will never know and many of us don’t care! It’s really nobody’s business except the people involved.
However, to me, the real news during that time hasn’t seemed to be fully investigated. We had four (4) police officers ambushed in a coffee shop in Lakewood, Washington, while they were doing their paperwork by a lone assassin. Did we hear much about them? Did we hear anything about their families and the people they left behind? These martyrs and heroes died because they wore a uniform and some unbalanced person with prior records decided to kill them in cold blood. This person had already assaulted an officer and raped someone? Why was he out on bond? Why blame a former governor of a decision he made years ago commuting this criminal’s sentence? Are we to be held accountable for past sins? The worse a criminal record the quicker one can make bail? Where was the media on this topic? How important is this killing compared to Tiger’s affair? Who in the hell is approving this media mess? Good men and women are dying daily performing a thankless job and the news media has turned to gossiping. Men and women in the military, as well as, our essential protectors and EMS people seems to be less important than family indiscretions. There was a time when uniforms meant something to people, respect and authority. Someone decided that the laws we had that were meant to govern weren’t in sync with today’s norms. Now all hell have busted loose. I can’t express enough how disappointed I am with the disrespect that the media has shown for people in authority. I’m sure there are some folk in the media that trying to get their voices heard, but they are overshadowed by the deep pockets and coverage of the mainstream. I am not ignoring the ordinary citizen who sacrifices daily to provide for their family and is attacked because some bum doesn’t want to work for a living. They are martyrs and heroes, too! Prayer has been taken out of schools, some churches are bigger than resorts, parents can’t discipline their children anymore, and there seems to be no respect for the elderly and authority! As a society, we have lost our way. We better find it really quick!

Teachable Moments

This is the new phrase that seems to be circulating throughout the media. Primarily, it’s used for mistakes committed by celebrities that somehow can be redeemable. For us common folk, we just screwed up. Can we learn from these mistakes? It depends on how much you lost. I guess the bigger the name and celebrity, you are granted leniency and discretion. Some examples are the Secret Service snafu at the President’s First State Dinner with the “party crashers”, the Salahis, Oprah’s not having Chris Brown on her show because he abused Rihanna but allowed BeBe Winans who did the same with his wife, and Tiger Woods single car crash that is swirling with rumors. Our President will have a “teachable moment” in Afghanistan, too. By the way, we can learn from other people mistakes! There are others I have not named that are allowed “teachable moments” but screwed up. Our state governor, for instance learned a lot from his saga, but it affected so many people in this state. Most of all in this situation, it just about destroyed his family. He lost so much. This is not to say that indiscretions from anyone cannot cause irreparable harm, it is to say that we will never be able to measure the amount of harm done. Screw ups are happening all the time whether you’re well known or not. Some “teachable moments” are not for everyone. Your mistake is yours only and the people you involved. I don’t think that your problem should be mine unless it involves me directly or indirectly. It’s none of my business. Everybody has problems, but we tend to capitalize on somebody else's and ignore our own. I guess we welcome the distraction. We don't want to face up to our own and speculate on others. Bad news spread fast and it makes lots of money! The important thing to remember is every moment is teachable, good or bad. There is always something that we can learn.

Joyful Expectations

I saw a mother at mass with her newborn this morning. She had a large scarf that somehow wrapped the baby in such a way that the baby was in front of her facing forward. Sort of like a halter that’s made for babies. I thought it was pretty cool that such a long piece of cloth could be used that way. I’m not good at guessing any baby’s age but I think he could have been 5-6 months old. He had his pacifier and some type of cloth toy he played with. He was such a bright eyed cute little boy! He pointed downwards towards his baby bag and mom handed him his light-blue cloth rabbit. It wasn’t the rabbit that he seemed interested in. He was into holding his mom’s finger and bringing it to his face. She let him guide her towards his face and playfully rubbed his little nose. His little hand was holding onto his mother’s finger tightly. I thought that was so cool. It was an example of a mother’s love and a child’s dependence on the love that only a mother can give. Innocence, trust, curiosity and dependence are just few of the traits that we all had when we were babies but lost as adults. Well, the Christmas holidays are coming up and we all have joyful expectations bubbling inside of us. Whether its gifts, someone visiting or coming home or whatever, we are looking forward to joyful hopes. Now if we don’t get what we want let’s not get disappointed. Our Father in heaven knows what is best for us. We should accept our dependency on Him, just as a baby’s for their guardians. Holidays are different each year regardless of the circumstances. We get older and our priorities change. Let’s never lose the real meaning of Christmas. Christ was born to die and save mankind. When he comes again, let’s not be fearful but stand with our arms and our heads up with joyful expectations. Keep in mind we don’t have to wait for the holidays to have joyful expectations. We can do this all year round!