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| March 2, 1954 - July 24, 2015 |
We got you back home, Austin. It’s been
a challenging two weeks for us but even tougher for you and the years of suffering.
You played it off with me as long as you could but the pain would not let you hide
it any longer. I am so grateful that the children saw you in those last days.
It wasn’t easy for them then and it definitely was not any better at your
celebration. You have some beautiful children and I always thought you were so
blessed to have them. You have a son that favors you and a daughter that favors
her mother. And a wife that is loyal and
supportive. I found that so awesome! There is so much to be thankful for.
You would have been proud. Unity
Mortuary conducted it with class and dignity. It was a fantastic tribute and
the Colonel oversaw all of the details. I know, I have always called Melinda;
Colonel. It was meant to respect for her rank. As you know, I am very proud of
her for her military achievements and her soon to have doctorate. I never meant
it to sound impersonal by not calling her Melinda. I enjoy calling her colonel.
She provided the pictures for a slide show that included the family, you and
mom. I saw a side of you that I never knew. I guess we both are private people
and keep our feelings suppressed for fear of reprisals. I still have a tough
time letting people in. I also know that we are both stubborn individuals. You
never got a chance to meet April.
Devin and Melinda read some beautiful
poems and Teria got up to stand beside Devin when he started to fill up with
tears and struggled to go on. But he got it together. It was a beautiful
tribute. Speaking of Teria, that young lady can truly sing. As you, mom and
Nana look down on us with prayer, you will see her rise to fame. She has a
lovely voice and that song she sang brought tears, shouts and thunderous
clapping. It’s called “Hope
You Can Dance.” Gladys Knight sang it in the “Family That Preys.” Lee Ann
Womack sings it, too! Another song that stood out was “I Look To You” by
Whitney.
Tia and your grands, Michale, Calim and
I forgot the name of the oldest, made it. I had not seen her over 20+ years. I
still recognized her as she, too, favors her mother. I told them all at the
celebration that I will call them at least once a month to stay in better
contact. I can’t be responsible for waiting to see our family during grieving
situations. I need to also keep in touch when things are well. Our cousin
Robert has always been that person. I mailed Aunts Babb and Dot the program.
It still hasn’t dawned on me that you
and I can’t talk or disagree anymore. The movie “Kingdom Come” is on and I can’t
help but think of us when we were kids and became adults. I am so grateful
(blessed) that we reconciled last year but deep inside I am feeling the loss.
When mom left, the world took on a different view, now there’s another view and
it’s getting better how I view it. It’s hard for me to let go, Austin, it’s
really tough. I couldn’t truly cry until 3 months after mom and I think it was
a TV commercial that triggered it.
I have so much to talk about but even if
you were around, I probably would not even think about it. I wonder why when
people are gone from our lives we are ready to talk but not always knowing what
to talk about?
The kids kept some of your ashes for
their rings and bracelets. They spread the rest over the lake and Anderson. Jewelry
that holds loved ones remains, never knew that. I’m getting old. I’m glad you’re
back home, You will always be my baby brother, Austin. I love you!
